Some Modisms…

Posted on February 11, 2013 by Sunil Rajguru

Modification: The notion that Narendra Modi will convert the whole country to his point of view and become Prime Minister in the end.

Modivation: Modi’s speeches, which leave all the other politicians far behind.

Modisty: The opposite of Modesty, according to his critics, since the Chief Minister just keeps listing his achievements in Gujarat.

Modirnty: A new age where the Gujarat model will be replicated in India.

Modirate: Definitely not a moderate because he supports Modi.

Modim: Because he converts analog anti-votes into digital pro-votes.

Auto-pilot Modi: Modi seems to be automatically rising up to a point where there will be no competition for the PM’s post within the party.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The changing face of world sports…

Posted on February 10, 2013 by Sunil Rajguru

Then: It’s all fixed! (Fate, it’s all in God’s hands.)
Now: It’s all fixed! (Match-fixing, mega bucks.)

Then: Show me the money! (After I have played a good game and served my country well.)
Now: Show me the money! (Before I even think of playing the game.)

Then: You can’t change the past! (Once a match is over, it’s over.)
Now: You can’t change the past! (Try telling that to the Tour de France!)

Then: You dope! (Drugs like LSD will wreck your career.)
Now: You dope! (Take enhancing drugs, just don’t get caught.)

Then: Cricket! (The Gentleman’s game.)
Now: Cricket! (The Banker’s game.)

Diggy Raja musings…

Posted on February 10, 2013 by Sunil Rajguru

IPL player: I’m a millionaire!
Business tycoon: I’m a billionaire!
Indian economy: I’m a trillionaire!
Diggy Raja: I’m so full of air!
(The need to say something to anything thrown at him)

The conundrum…
Who was he first to make his millionth inane TV byte?
Diggy Raja or Suhel Seth?

What if there were no TV news channels?
Diggy Raja: Well then, I’d be unemployed!

In the US there are millions of conspiracy theories spread via newspapers, magazines and the Internet.
In India we have a one-man industry called Diggy Raja.

(Always) A time to kill…

Posted on February 7, 2013 by Sunil Rajguru

If you kill 1 person, you’ll be branded a murderer and hanged.

If you kill 10-100 people, then you’ll become a celebrated serial killer, get loads of media coverage and may even have a film made about your life.

If you kill thousands of people, you’re probably a soldier and you’ll be decorated with many many medals.

If you kill millions of people, then you’re probably someone like Hitler, Stalin or Mao. You’ll enter history’s celebrity list and every child will know your name for hundreds of years to come.

If you kill billions of living things every year, some of them for no rhyme or reason, then you’re probably the precious civilized human race. As a reward, you get to inherit the Earth, which is yours to totally screw up.

The fringe shall inherit the Earth…

Posted on February 5, 2013 by Sunil Rajguru

· Taliban: Can you imagine anything more dangerous than a girl with a schoolbook?
Kashmiri hardliner: Yes, a girl with a guitar!

· Right now a very dangerous Quit India movement is going on.
Freedom of Speech is being asked to Quit India.

· Old saying: The crying baby gets the milk.
New saying: The “offended” baby gets the cream.

· New Secularism Slogan: Have you made your State Rushdie free yet?
Rajasthan did so in 2012 and West Bengal in 2013. What about you?

· All the fringe groups have just moved to the centre of society in India.

· They would have us believe…
It’s OK for boys to play with guns and bombs, but not OK for girls to use schoolbooks and guitars.