BJP No. 1 leader doing well.
Who cares?
BJP No. 7 has great plans.
Bah!
BJP No. 434 made stupid statement.
Perfect! Headlines! Lead story!

Usually…
I love you.
Awww same to you!
But here…
Laloo—Haraamzaada!
Media—Awww same to Modi!

Media—If there were stricter laws, Modi would be in jail.
Truth—If there were stricter libel laws, a 100 senior journalists would be in jail for a 100 years.

What’s common between Indian media and Aussie cricketers?
They sledge heavily but if you reply back they both start crying “victim”.

Go figure…
Jungle Raj
+ Scams
+ Nepotism
+ Casteism
+ No governance
+ Zero development
+ Abusive language
+ Conviction
=Media loves Laloo.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kis tarah ke kapde pahante hai.
Kis rang ke kapde pahante hai.
Unke kapde ki keemat aur brand.
Uspe kya kya likha rahata hai.
Sab jaanta hu main.
—Pappu’s amazing insight on Modi.

The Congress annus horribilis years…
1977—When Emergency ended.
1989—When a Dynast was PM for the last time.
2014—When Empress Sonia was vanquished.

A book on Pappu’s political life will be called…
Revenge of the Speech Writer.

It appears that Pappu has just completed a PhD in “The type, colour and worth of dresses worn by Modi”.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

My Top 10 achievements…
1. Became VVVIP.
2. Great bungalow.
3. Wonderful cavalcade.
4. MLAs richer.
5. YoYa-PrBh kicked out.
6. Still attacking Modi.
7. Fixed Maharashtra.
8. Backed Laloo.
9. Media still fooled.
10. People still fooled.
—Kejri.

AAP…
After it got 4 MPs—Chaar bach gaye lekin party abhi baaki hai.
After it got 60+ MLAs—Party sathiya gayi hai.

Aam (ke aam guthli ke bhi daam) Aadmi Party.
‪#‎PayHike‬ ‪#‎UltraPrivileges‬ ‪#‎VVVIPs‬ ‪#‎RichPoliticians‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Translate—Mob mercilessly kills man in Akhilesh’s lawless Uttar Pradesh.
Adarsh Liberal—Modi is a Fascist dictator.

Beef bans, censorship, minority woes…
1947-2014—Ignore.
2014- —Amplify 24X7.

For any crime …
A. Local police have failed. OR
B. Their boss politicians have failed. OR
C. State Home Minister has failed. OR
D. Chief Minister has failed. OR
E. All of the above.
Adarsh Liberal…
F. Prime Minister has failed.
#Dadri

After retirement Modi should become UN Secretary General.
Then Modi haters can blame each and every little thing that goes wrong in the world on him.

UP…
2011—Akhilesh becomes CM, crime increases.
2012—Crime increases.
2013—Crime increases.
2014—Crime increases.
2015—Crime increases.
Wait, now we can blame the PM!
Activate outrage! Sparta!!!

Rumour against Sonia—Silence.
Case against Sonia—Silence.
Megascam in Sonialand—Silence.
Rumour against Modi—Sparta!!!
Rumour proved totally false—Silence.
Next rumour against Modi—SpartaX2!!!
Rumour proved totally false—SilenceX2.
Next rumour against Modi—SpartaX3!!!
Rumour proved totally false—SilenceX3.
Ad infinitum.

Adarsh Liberals coming out with anecdotes about Hindutva titled…
Beef Soup For The Soul.

Sonia’s UPA sees 2G, Coalgate, AugustaWestland, Section66A…
Media adores her.
Today any citizen does anything in India, Modi is hammered.

At the end of the day Akhilesh, Azam and Mulayam must be having a good laugh and saying, “We destroyed UP and Modi is being blamed!”

Talwars investigated.
Talwars chargesheeted.
Talwars tried.
Talwars convicted.
Outrage—They’re innocent!
Modi…
No conviction (because) no trial (because) no chargesheet (because) no evidence, only shrill baseless allegations.
Outrage—He is guilty!

The Golden Principle…
If a Communist spews hate, it is Freedom of Expression.
Anyone disagreeing with the Left will be dubbed a Right-winger spouting hate speech.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

West Asia peace.
Racial tolerance.
Gun control.
Save the environment.
2008—Yes we can!
2015—No we can’t.
‪#‎Obama‬

Syria?
Obama—Sorryia.
ISIS—Islamic State In Syria.
Putin—Russyria.
Assad—Am sad.

Cold War back again…
You attacked Iraq?
We’ll attack its neighbour Syria!
—Russia to America.

1. Assad: Wrong.
2. Civil war violence: Wrong.
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
3. Russian strikes: If go wrong…
…three wrongs might finish off Syria outright.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pakistan…
1947—Kashmir mera hai!
1965—Kashmir mera hai!
1999—Kashmir mera hai!
2015—Kashmir mera hai!
Ye policy ekdum yeda hai!

India within the United Nations Assembly…
Abki baar,
Pakistan pe waar.
‪#‎Sushma‬

If they say “Free Kashmir”, say…
To Pakistan: Free Balochistan, PoK.
To China: Free Tibet.
To England: Free Northern Ireland.
etc

These versions by Sunil Rajguru