Everyone is crying out for peace, yes,
None is crying out for justice!
—Peter Tosh.
‪‪#‎RawDealForIndianDefenceServices‬

Pak terrorists report to ISI.
ISI reports to Pak Army.
Pak Army reports to Nawaz.
Terror attack on India = Nawaz attacks India.
When will they get it?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

I will electrify every village: Goyal.

I will save every stranded foreign national: Sushma.

I will build road in every corner: Gadkari.

I will put every textbook online for free: Smriti.

I will solve every Railways problem: Prabhu.

I will blame everything on Modi: Kejri.

I will cover and magnify every little goof-up of Modi: Senior editor.

I will blame every little nonsensical thing on Modi: #AdarshLiberal.

© Sunil Rajguru

New millennium truth…
Even a newbie politician can be CM of Delhi, not a BJPian.
Even a housewife can be CM of Bihar, not a BJPian.
‪#‎DelhiPatnaDoorHai‬

Modi…
2012-14: Won India, Gujarat, Madhya Pradesh, Rajasthan, Chhattisgarh, Maharashtra, Haryana, Jharkhand, Jammu & Kashmir.
2015: Lost New Delhi and Bihar.
He is after all human!

Narendra Modi…
Fighting against heavy odds all his life.
So, the heavy odds simply continue!

#‎AccheDin‬ have finally arrived for all ‪#‎ModiHaters‬.

Mahagatbandhan 1 = Bihar = JDU + RJD + Congress.
Mahagatbandhan 2 = West Bengal = TMC + CPM + Congress.
Mahagatbandhan 3 = Uttar Pradesh = SP + BSP + Congress.

Modi leads Modi Haters 734-2*.
(*1=Delhi polls is a loss as most of them live in Delhi which is falling apart under Kejri.
2=Bihar under Laloo will also crash.)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

New Year resolution for 2016…
Forget trying to understand Bihari politics forever.
‪#‎BiharResults‬

Opinion polls gaye tel lene.
Exit polls gaye tel lene.
Early trends gaye tel lene.
Bihar development gaya tel lene.

Mahagatbandhan will be Mahagadbad for development.

2014 elections…
Modi for PM.
Modi for CM.
2015 elections…
Nitish for CM.
Laloo for PM (2019).

Bihar returns to 1990 as India heads to 2020.
Pappu returns to 2004 promise and also to 2019 hope.

In 2004 they kicked out development champions like Krishna, Naidu and Vajpayee.
In 2015 they brought back jokers like Kejri and Laloo.
‪#‎IndianElectorate‬

Can’t trust Opinion Polls.
Can’t trust Exit Polls.
Can’t even trust Trends on D-Day!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#‎BiharExitPolls‬ commentary:
Last ball coming up…
BJP could lose by 100 runs, win by 100 runs or it could be a tie!!!

Schrodinger’s Election…
NDA is getting both a landslide and a thrashing at the same time.

#‎BiharExitPolls‬ questionnaire…
Who will win?
1. BJP+.
2. JDU+.
3. None of the above.
4. All of the above.

Would you like a burger?
Yes.
And some fries?
Yes.
And we’ll throw in a customized Bihar exit poll of your choice for no extra charge!

First only columns showed a bias.
Then edits.
Then news.
Then opinion polls.
Now even exit polls.

Something is rotten in the state of Polls.
‪#‎SabJeeteBiharInExitPolls‬

Kal saare opinion/exit polls ki pol khul jaayegi!
‪#‎BiharVerdict‬

It’s any era of personalization.
Every media house makes its own news and polls.

#‎MeraBiharExitPoll‬
Only one party has a chance of getting seats in 3-digits.
Most parties will get seats in 1 or 2-digits.
Some may even get 0 seats.

#‎MeraBiharExitPoll‬
Nitish ya koi aur CM hoga ya President’s Rule hoga.

Predicted seats wons in Bihar polls…
BJP 0-159.
JDU 0-101.
RJD 0-101.
Cong 0-41.
LJP 0-40.
RLSP 0-23.
HAM 0-21.
There—Can’t go wrong!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru