Lalit Modi = Lakhs And Lakhs Initially, Then Millions Of Dollars Income
Shashi Tharoor = Sunanda Has A Sweat Holding in IPL. Tweeting Had A Really Optimistic Outlook Recently.
Sharad Pawar = So Happy And Relaxed At Developments. Personally Am Way Above Recrimination.
BCCI = Board of Control of Cricketing Income
IPL = Infinite Paisa League
© Sunil Rajguru
It’s a Mad Ad World
How many ads can a cricket match take? I think this theory has been stretched to the max by IPL. It’s the height of irritation and I am surprised that most of the people are taking it lying down. (But then again, what can we do anyway?) All that is left is for an ad to be shown between a bowler releasing the ball and the batsman hitting it. Then there are those corny sponsored phrases like Citi Moment of Success…
Why is it soooo Loooooong?
In the 1996 ODI WC, there were 12 teams and every team had to play each other. On top of that there were quarter finals. That seemed way to long. In IPL, why does every team play each other twice? (OK, OK, I know: Home and way matches, but still…) But I wonder what will happen next year with nearly a 100 matches. IPL will go on for about 2.5 months. Where will they get the time in the ICC calendar? And will viewer interest continue till the end?
A case of Megalomodimania
Let’s get a few things clear. The English invented T20. The 2007 WC win popularized it in India. The ICL brought T20 club cricket in India. Then the BCCI’s resolve brought about IPL. Lalit Modi has great business acumen, but he happened to be at the right place at the right time. But it looks like Modi invented T20. He’s everywhere on TV and has an opinion on every little thing and looks like a control freak. And why are you telling us so much about the Kochi team on your Twitter account? Didn’t you check properly when you accepted the bid?
Over-the-top commentators
Listening to the commentators, one could be forgiven for thinking that the IPL is actually a World Cup that happens every 20 years. I’ve never seen them so enthusiastic and gush so much at each and every shot. Does the IPL pay far more that other tournaments? Money not only talks, but shouts.
Exorbitant Ticket Prices
Why are the ticket prices so high? Who buys them? And if they are sold out most of the time, then why do we still see empty stands?
© Sunil Rajguru
Everyone’s talking about the Sania-Shoiab match. Looks like there are plenty of book and Bollywood movie ideas in the saga…
Some sample titles…
Mangetar, Mangetar aur Woh
Everything but Tennis and Anything but Cricket
Kasab gaya. Shoiab aaya. How to be a famous Pakistani in India.
Work-Life Balance: How to Excel at Match-Fixing Professionally and Personally Too
The Cricketer who Double-faulted and the Tennis Player Who Hit Her Own Wicket
Alternative Reality: Had Sania Won a Grand Slam Early in Her Life, She May Have Led an Anonymous Life
Jab Sania-Shoiab Raazi To Kya Karega Media?
Samjhauta Express Derailed: A Look at The Biggest Indo-Pak Crisis Since Kargil
No Weddings & a Media Funeral
© Sunil Rajguru
IAL: Indian Advertisements League
IBL: Indian Bollywood League
ICL: Indian Controversies League
IDL: Indian Dollars League
IEL: Indian Entertainment League
IFL: Indian Featherbed League
IGL: Indian Greed League
IHL: Indian Hype League
IIL: Indian Injuries League
IJL: Indian Jamboree League
IKL: Indian Kangaroo League (Aussies rule)
ILL: Indian Lalit League
IML: Indian Modi League
INL: Indian Nautanki League
IOL: Indian Outsourced League (Season 2)
IPL: Indian Paisa League
IQL: Indian Quantitative League (As against Qualitative)
IRL: Indian Retirees League
ISL: Indian Sponsorship League
ITL: Indian TRPs League
IUL: Indian Unorthodox League
IVL: Indian Valuable League
IWL: Indian Widening League (10 in 2011, 12-14 thereafter)
IXL: Indian Xerox League (Anyone remember ICL was the original?)
IYL: Indian YouTube League
IZL: Indian Zeppelin League (Blimp ads)
This Version By Sunil Rajguru
OK, India has crashed out of the 2010 Hockey World Cup. The only highpoint of the whole year was India beating Pakistan and the catchline: Phir Dil Do Hockey Ko. If not anything else, we can at least recycle that catchy line…
For the husband who watches too many cricket and hockey matches…
Phir Dil Do Family Ko
For the cynic who wants to kill off Indian hockey permanently…
Phir Gill Do Hockey Ko
For the fan who wants more accountability in Indian Hockey…
Phir Grill Do Management Ko
For those who still think the players lost out due to lack of funds…
Phir Deal Do Hockey Players Ko
For the Democrat who hated the Bush era and is disillusioned with Obama…
Phir Bill Do Amreeka Ko
For the couple scared of a second or third child the Morning After…
Phir Pill Do Biwi Ko
For those disillusioned with Mamata’s stewardship of the Ministry…
Phir Rail Do Laloo Ko
For the person who wants a meaningful slogan till the 2014 Hockey World Cup…
Bahut Dil diya hockey ko. Ab koi to Indian Hockey Management ko Dimaag do!
© Sunil Rajguru
1. Anil Kumble
Why: Because you cannot take winning at home for granted.
Kumble’s greatest curse was that we took him for granted. Always. India wins at home. We have spinning tracks. We will win no matter who comes and who plays. It’s not as easy as that. We still have to go and take 20 wickets every match. If you sit and count the number of Test matches each player has won for his country, then Kumble would have a lion’s share. A victory is a victory no matter where it comes from. And for the record, before he retired, he improved his performance on foreign soil too. Then there’s also his record 10-wicket haul in an innings.
2. Rahul Dravid
Why: Because he was always there in India’s most critical moments.
Kolkata 2001. Leeds 2002. Adelaide 2003. Rawalpindi 2004. Kingston 2006. Perth 2008.
Some of India’s finest victories and Dravid made his contribution in all of them. Ask anyone to make a list of their greatest victories and chances are Dravid will feature heavily in most of them. To keep veering your team to historic wins is a sign of true greatness.
3. Sourav Ganguly
Why: Because he changed the way India played.
Aggression. Professionalism. Self-belief. Faith. These are not just words. They have the power to turn ordinary teams into great ones. And this came just on the heels of the match-fixing scandal and the mediocrity that the Indian team was wallowing in. Had Ganguly not let his guard down and relaxed during the latter part of his tenure, he would have played many more matches and plotted many more victories.
4. Virendra Sehwag
Why: Because he changed the way the game is played.
How many Test cricket openers play as if they are in an ODI match? Sehwag has a phenomenal strike rate of 80%. To put that in perspective, big hitter Test openers Chris Gayle and Mathew Hayden both stand at around 60%. (Kapil Dev and Adam Gilchrist usually used to come down the order.) I remember in school it used to be a rare sight when India’s Test run rate would cross 3 runs per over. Recently, we almost touched 6 on the opening day. Sehwag has single-handedly changed the way India plays Test matches. He can still be the first man to hit 3 Test Triples. And for the record, he rocks in ODIs and T20s too.
5. Mahendra Singh Dhoni
Why: Victory. Victory. Victory.
A T20 World Cup. More than half a dozen bilateral ODI series victories. A world record of being undefeated in his first 10 Tests. World No. 1 in Tests. World No. 1 in ODIs. Dhoni has already boldy gone where no India captain has gone before and he’s just started. For detractors who say a captain is only as good as his team, the nucleus of the team was playing cricket for 5-10 years even before Dhoni made his debut. What changed now? The answer is Dhoni. Victories beat records any day and Dhoni so far has proved to be a Victory Magnet. A point also missed is that he has also been the No. 1 ODI batsman for a record number of weeks now.
© Sunil Rajguru