Category Archives: Short Takes

Government end of days musings…

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All Congressmen and beat reporters have a Sonia App on their mobile.
The moment she’s Unhappy, the Status flashes on their screen.

What if in 2014?
The light at the end of the tunnel is actually the headlights of the oncoming Third Front Train.

The Congress general elections trilogy…
1977: Doom 1.
1989: Doom 2.
2014: Doom 3.

Filmi Singh is King released in 2008.
No sequel.
Political Singh is King released in 2009.
No sequel.

Dynasty…
CongRace1: Nehru.
CongRace2: Indira.
CongRace3: Rajiv.
Sonia…
UPA1.
UPA2.
UPA3 ke baad kuch bhi nahin bachega.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Food Security Bill musings…

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Last night my mother came from AIIMS and hugged me and cried and said: Food Bill is poison!

#FSB.
Financial Suicide Bill.
For Sonia’s Benefit.
Food Scam Bud.
Fultu Sop Bill.
(20)Fourteen Securing Bill.
Fatal Sensex Bear.

Teach a man to fish and lose votes forever.
Feed a man fish every day and get voted in every election.
+ NREGA
= Sone pe Suhaaga.
#FSB

Bhookh sabko lagti hai,
gala sabka sookhta hai,
Food Bill ke aage jeet hai…
#Congress #2014Polls

Ze Food Bill eez vote’s most imporetant!

UPA1: NREGA.
UPA2: FSB.
UPA3: Sell India.
UPA4: Why not? Check voting patterns.

(F)u(S)e for an economic (B)omb.

Freebies fekte chalo,
Doles fekte chalo,
Funde fekte chalo,
Fir governance ko fekte chal bano,
Aakhir main Opposition candidate ko Feku bolo.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Bollywood Rs 100-crore club musings…

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1975: Sholay creates Rs 15-crore club.
Nobody joins for close to 20 years.
2008: Ghajini creates Rs 100 crore club.
2013: Chennai Express 22nd member.

Bollywood movies with brains at the speed of the tortoise always win the final race at the speed of the hare.

Ab SRK Gurgaon Passenger bhi banayega to dedh sau crore pakka.

Spectacular special effects rule Hollywood movies.
Spectacular special defects rule Bollywood movies.

If Rohit Shetty made a documentary on the Khans, it would enter the Bollywood Rs 100 Crore Club.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh and state of the nation musings 6…

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C for Congress.
C for Corruption.
C for Communalism.
C for Crony Capitalism.
C for Chamchas.
C for Ctr-Alt-Del.
#2014Polls

What happened when Manmohan Singh called the Economy, Rupee, Petrol to a game of Ring a ring o roses?
What else?
Remember the end…
“We all fall down.”

Lagta hai 2014 main MMS, Chidu, Rupee sab ek saath retire ho jaayenge.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress and computer musings…

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OK, baba, you win.
Congress is default in India computer.
But computer has crashed.
We are all offline.
Please upgrade wisely in 2014.
#Pappu

Online…
Guy: That web page has been deleted!
Google: Don’t worry, I cached it.
Guy: Thank you!
Offline…
Congress: The CoalGate files are missing!
CAG: Don’t worry, I cached it.
Congress: Shut up!

Pappu logic…
Statement 1: Computer kaun laya? Congress!
Statement 2: India kya hai? Computer?
Inference: India kaun laya? Congress!

Nehru invented newspaper.
Indira invented TV.
Rajiv invented Internet.
Please don’t use all these to criticize Sonia.
P.S. Pappu is inventing the next big media. Please do not disturb.

Indira G and Rajiv G were the most popular leaders of their times.
Pappu G can’t even aspire to be more popular than Parle G.

Cong is seC*ular.
(*C=Communal)
Cong is inclusivE*.
(*E=Elitist)
Cong is D*emocratic.
(*D=Dictatorial)
Cong is soC*ialist.
(*C=Capitalistic)

It is amazing that the League of Extraordinary Fekus decided to confer the title of “Feku” to someone outside their group.
#Pheku #Irony

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh and state of the nation musings 5…

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Congress is like Internet Explorer.
Nobody wants it, but since it’s the default setting and many people are too lazy to change it or download something else, it still has 30-40% market share.

Jaane kahan mera file gaya jee.
Jaane kahan mera PM gaya jee.
Janne kahan mera Government gaya jee.
Jaane kahan mera desh ja raha hai jee.

Generations to come will scarce believe that a Prime Minister ruled India from 2004-14.
— (If) Albert Einstein (was alive today)

Dear Economy,
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
If NREGA don’t get you, Food Bill must.

Old: If you love her, give her diamonds.
New: If you love her, take her on a long drive in your petrol car and make Chicken/Paneer Do Pyaza just for her.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru