Category Archives: Short Takes

Congressi poll musings…

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Did you know Manmohan Singh has refused his monthly salary?
Ab koi free main kaam karega to aisa hi bakwaas kaam karega na?

Pappu: Change the system! Bring in outsiders!
Note: Congress is the system. Pappu is the ultimate insider.
Subliminal message: Don’t vote for me or the Congress!

Congress is making great progress.
First they were stuck in 2002 (Godhra).
Then they were caught in 2004 (Ishrat case).
Now they’ve moved on to 2005 (Aseemanand allegations).

TV bytes…
What will happen to Pappu’s 6 bills… Pappu’s 6 bills… Pappu’s 6 bills…
Sounds like a kid bawling for 6 chocolate bars.

Congress plays politics like an ODI match.
They leave heavy scoring for the slog overs.
When play is called off due to bad light/rain, they lose and cry foul.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Raj karega AAP, magar dharna se…

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Gali gali main dharna hai,
AAP ko kucch nahin karna hai.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
A dharna a day keeps the governance away.
An allegation a day keeps the real questions away.
#AAP

Strange bedfellows in Delhi…
Both AAP and Congress voted together to form government.
Both AAP and BJP want government to fall.
Both BJP and Congress are disgusted with AAP.

AAP has simply redefined “Ruling Government” to mean “Opposition to the Opposition”.
So now Delhi has two Oppositions and Zero governments.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

AAP daily nautanki musings…

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Like CEO, CFO, CIO, CXO…
Arvind Kejriwal is the new CAO of India.
Chief Andolan Officer.
(Or CDA = Chief Dharna Officer)

Arvind Kejriwal should just launch a 24X7 TV channel and syndicate content to other channels.
Dharnas, stings, conspiracy theories, vigilante raids… no shortage of content.

AAP is like a student who got 100/100 in theory, failed in practicals and resorted to yelling at the invigilator, questions and system instead of changing.

Khap yahaan aaye kisliye?
Haryanvi voters ko bulaayaa isliye!

Tum mujhe khoon do, main tumhe azaadi doonga.
—Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose.
Tum mujhe votes do, main tumhe anarchy doonga.
—Arvind Kejriwal.

Problem: Congress had been ruling Delhi for 15 years.
Reality: AAP is currently ruling Delhi with Congress support.
Solution: Attack BJP and Modi.

Live every day as if it was your last.
—Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius.
Govern every day as if it was your last.
—Indian emperor Arvind Kejriwal.

AAP.
Out of power…
Allegations Agitations Party.
In power…
Allegations Agitations Party.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Azam Khan’s buffaloes went missing…

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buffalo-2359970_640Ask not what your buffaloes can do for you.
Ask what you can do for your buffaloes.
—Azam Khan, SP.

While UP was burning, SP was fiddling with junkets, film shows and buffaloes.

Full marks to the SP for respecting animal rights.
That they pay absolutely no regard for human rights is a different story altogether.

Did anyone check what direction Azam Khan’s buffaloes were headed to?
Mulayam has launched a Delhi Chalo campaign.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More musings on the Pappu-Arnab interview…

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What about SIT for 1984?
Pappu: It’s OK, I don’t want to sit. As it is I stand for RTI, women empowerment and changing the system.

Before interview…
Congress: Jab bhi hum 2002 bolte hai, woh 1984 kahate hai!
Pappu: Main theek karta hu.
After interview…
Congress: Hey bhagwan, ab sab sirf 1984 bol rahe hai, 2002 nahin!
Pappu: RTI. Women emporment. System….

1922: James Joyce masters Stream of Consciousness novel.
2014: Pappu masters Stream of Consciousness interview.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Never-ending Pappu musings…

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First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they ridicule you again and then they ridicule you again and again and then they ridicule you again and again and again and then Modi wins.
—Pappu.

Worst Politician of India Award 2014…
Somnath Bharti and Pappu send in their nomination papers quite early in the year.

Congress leader: He is indecisive, clueless and confused. He doesn’t make any impact when he speaks. We are frustrated with him…
Sonia: Are you referring to Rahul or Manmohan?

Pappu ka sabse bada achievement LPG cylinders kiye nau se baraah.
Baaki sab main nau do gyaarah.

Bharat ek soch hai.
Congress ek soch hai.
Laloo ek soch hai.
Now I’m convinced that Pappu doesn’t exist.
Pappu sirf ek soch hai aur kucchh bhi nahin.

Raag Hindole: Dawn.
Raag Bhairav: Morning.
Raag Megha: Mid-day.
Raag Sri: Twilight.
Raag Deepak: Evening.
RaGa Pappu: Permanent night.

The rise and rise of Pappu…
2004: Trainee Prime Minister.
2009: Senior Trainee Prime Minister.
2014: Chief Trainee Prime Minister.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru