World War I: AAP versus Congress.
World War II: AAP versus BJP.
World War III: AAP versus ex-AAP/IAC.
AAP campaign…
Modi for PM, Kejriwal for CM.
Translation: Mil baant-ke khaate hai.
Modi campaign…
BJP for PM, BJP for CM.
Translation: Na khaoonga, na khaane doonga!
India A̶g̶a̶i̶n̶s̶t̶ For C̶o̶r̶r̶u̶p̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ Politics…
Anna: Trinamool*.
Kejriwal, Yadav, Bhushan: AAP.
Bedi, Shazia, Binny: BJP.
*=Came in ad backing Mamata for PM.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
The ABC of Delhi politics…
AAP, BJP & Congress.
But it’s finally down to A or B…
Arvind or Bedi.
Changing Times.
2011…
Bedi: Main bhi Anna.
Kejriwal: Main bhi Anna.
2015…
Bedi: Main bhi CM.
Kejriwal: Main bhi CM.
One section of the BJP will be known as the Bharatiya Janata Congress while another section will be known as the Aam Janata Party.
#AAPCongDefectors
Is this Join BJP month?
If you look at his latest Tweets, you could be forgiven for thinking that even Pranabda has joined the BJP!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Ref: Fourth India-Australia Test at Sydney, January 6, 2015.
Australia series captaincy report…
Dhoni: 1 loss, 1 draw, loves Raina, can’t control bowlers.
Kohli: 1 loss, 1 draw, loves Raina, can’t control bowlers.
It’s a tie!!!
Happy days are here again…
1990s: I know India is losing Test upon Test, but I’m enjoying Tendulkar’s century upon century.
2010s: I know India is losing Test upon Test, but I’m enjoying Kohli’s century upon century.
India-Australia series report…
We crossed 400 in every first innings.
We were never bowled out for less than 200 in any second innings.
Three of our batsmen were in the region of 400 runs.
Three of our bowlers took more than 10 wickets.
Bottom line: Still can’t win a single Test!
Starc and Hazlewood together give less runs in an hour than Umesh Yadav gives in a minute.
Parity…
Australia: 40 overs 251 runs.
India: 40 balls 1 run. (Overs 13.2 to 19.4).
After Indian innings…
Umesh to Raina: I can bat better than you!
After Australian innings:
Raina to Umesh: I can bowl better than you!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Ref: Fourth India-Australia Test at Sydney, January 6, 2015.
Post 0-8, India’s foreign Test campaign can be called Runs ‘n Ruins.
Runs for the batsmen. Ruins for the bowlers.
If you went to the bathroom when Suresh Raina came in to bat, then you missed his entire Test career post-2012.
New era in Indian Test captaincy.
Before…
Dhoni: I have bad bowlers.
Now…
Kohli: I have really bad bowlers.
T20s: Raina the Rock.
ODIs: Boom Boom Raina
Tests: Aaya Raina Gaya Raina.
Indian fast bowler careers…
Kapil Dev: 16 years.
Manoj Prabhakar: 12 years.
Zaheer Khan: 12 years.
Javagal Srinath: 11 years.
Nowadays it’s tough to find even one who can survive for 1 continuous year in international cricket.
Why does it feel like…
Weee!!! I made 400 runs in the series, let me get out! (Vijay)
Weee!!! I finally made a 50, let me get out! (Rohit)
Weee!!! I made a maiden century, let me get out! (Rahul)
Weee!!! I’m in the Test team, let me get out! (Raina)
Kohli: FML!
Dhoni: LOL!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Ref: Fourth India-Australia Test at Sydney, January 6, 2015.
Speed of delivery…
Kapil: Fast.
Zaheer: Faster.
Ishant: Fastest.
Speed of getting wickets…
Ishant: Slow.
Rest of Indian pace attack: Slower.
Indian spinners: Slowest.
If the Indian bowlers won’t let you off the hook, the slip fielders will.
If the fielders won’t let you off the hook, Indian batsmen will.
In a timeless Test on foreign soil, the probability of the opposition getting 1000 runs twice is greater than Indian bowlers getting 10 wickets twice.
The ideal Test Playing XI for India on foreign pitches…
6 batsmen, 4 bowlers and 1 mental conditioning coach.
New Year.
New captain.
New team.
New slip fielders.
Day 1: So far exactly the same.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
In India, the Right to Protest far surpasses the Right to Free Speech.
(December 31)
27 politicians have received the Bharat Ratna.
Only one was not associated with the Congress in any way.
#Vajpayee
(December 30)
Progress…
Hundreds of thousands die while building the Great Wall of China.
Thousands die while building the Panama Canal.
Hundreds die while building Qatar football stadiums.
(December 24)
Somewhere in the BCCI office right now…
IPL: Check.
ODI tournaments: Check.
ODI series: Check.
International T20s: Check.
Tests: Home—Check. Foreign—Fail.
Wow, we got 4.5/5! All Izz Well! All Izz Well! All Izz Well!
#IndVsAus #Brisbane
(December 20)
Pakistani Government: We will bring Kashmir under our control.
Pakistani citizen: First can you bring Pakistan under your control?
Frankenstein was the creator and not the monster.
Therefore Frankenstein is Pakistan and not the Taliban.
(December 13)
These versions by Sunil Rajguru