Category Archives: Indian Politics

Food Security Bill musings…

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Last night my mother came from AIIMS and hugged me and cried and said: Food Bill is poison!

#FSB.
Financial Suicide Bill.
For Sonia’s Benefit.
Food Scam Bud.
Fultu Sop Bill.
(20)Fourteen Securing Bill.
Fatal Sensex Bear.

Teach a man to fish and lose votes forever.
Feed a man fish every day and get voted in every election.
+ NREGA
= Sone pe Suhaaga.
#FSB

Bhookh sabko lagti hai,
gala sabka sookhta hai,
Food Bill ke aage jeet hai…
#Congress #2014Polls

Ze Food Bill eez vote’s most imporetant!

UPA1: NREGA.
UPA2: FSB.
UPA3: Sell India.
UPA4: Why not? Check voting patterns.

(F)u(S)e for an economic (B)omb.

Freebies fekte chalo,
Doles fekte chalo,
Funde fekte chalo,
Fir governance ko fekte chal bano,
Aakhir main Opposition candidate ko Feku bolo.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Ye tera scam, ye mera scam…

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Please sing to the tune of Ye tera ghar, ye mera ghar from the Bollywood movie Saath Saath…

Ye tera scam, ye mera scam, kisi ko baat-na ho agar,
To pahale aake dede mera share, uska share,
Ye tera scam, ye mera scam, ye scam bahut haseen hai,
Ye scam bahut haseen hai, ye scam bahut haseen hai.

Na CBI ke chhaaon main, na kisi police chowki ke gaaon main,
Na pakadne ke raaste bane hain iske vaaste,
Magar ye scam ajeeb hai, zameen ke kareeb hai,
Ye dollar-Rupee ka scam hamaari hasraton ka scam,
Ye tera scam…

Jo “1 lakh crore” nahin to kya ye rosihni hai hamare chhoti tijori ka,
Saare rishtedaaron ke khwaab khil gaye to fikr kya bahaar ki,
Hamaare ghar na aayegi kabhi khushi imaandaari ki,
Hamaari raahaton ka scam, hamaari chaahaton ka scam,
Ye tera scam…

Yahan mahak bewafaaon ki, bhrashtachaar ka rang hai,
Ye scam tumhara khwaab hai, ye scam meri ummang hai,
Na aarzoo pe qaid hai, na hausle pe jung hai,
Hamaare hauslon ka scam, hamaari himmaton ka scam,
Ye tera scam…

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

(Original song: Ye tera ghar, ye mera ghar.
Film: Saath Saath.
Year: 1982)

Manmohan Singh and state of the nation musings 6…

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C for Congress.
C for Corruption.
C for Communalism.
C for Crony Capitalism.
C for Chamchas.
C for Ctr-Alt-Del.
#2014Polls

What happened when Manmohan Singh called the Economy, Rupee, Petrol to a game of Ring a ring o roses?
What else?
Remember the end…
“We all fall down.”

Lagta hai 2014 main MMS, Chidu, Rupee sab ek saath retire ho jaayenge.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Silsila of the lonely Prime Minister…

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Main aur meri tanhaai, aksar ye baatein karte hai,
Reed ki haddi: Tum hoti to kaisi hota,
Tum ye kahati, Tum woh kahati,
Tum is decision pe hairaan hoti, tum us scheme pe kitni hansti,
Tum hoti to main accha hotaa, tum hoti to main dhang ka kaam karta,
Main aur meri tanhaai, Aksar ye baatain karate hain…
Economy enters and sings…
Ye kahaan aa gaye hum, yunhi saath saath chalte…

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

(Original Song: Ye kahaan aa gaye hum.
Film: Silsila.
Year: 1981.)

Congress and computer musings…

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OK, baba, you win.
Congress is default in India computer.
But computer has crashed.
We are all offline.
Please upgrade wisely in 2014.
#Pappu

Online…
Guy: That web page has been deleted!
Google: Don’t worry, I cached it.
Guy: Thank you!
Offline…
Congress: The CoalGate files are missing!
CAG: Don’t worry, I cached it.
Congress: Shut up!

Pappu logic…
Statement 1: Computer kaun laya? Congress!
Statement 2: India kya hai? Computer?
Inference: India kaun laya? Congress!

Nehru invented newspaper.
Indira invented TV.
Rajiv invented Internet.
Please don’t use all these to criticize Sonia.
P.S. Pappu is inventing the next big media. Please do not disturb.

Indira G and Rajiv G were the most popular leaders of their times.
Pappu G can’t even aspire to be more popular than Parle G.

Cong is seC*ular.
(*C=Communal)
Cong is inclusivE*.
(*E=Elitist)
Cong is D*emocratic.
(*D=Dictatorial)
Cong is soC*ialist.
(*C=Capitalistic)

It is amazing that the League of Extraordinary Fekus decided to confer the title of “Feku” to someone outside their group.
#Pheku #Irony

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How the Congress will respond to all your requests online with HTTP status codes…

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Can we have someone other than Pappu as PM?
400 Bad Request.

Can you please tell me details of Sonia’s IT returns and foreign visits?
403 Forbidden.

Can you tell me anything about Sonia?
308 Permanent Redirect.

Can you please hand me the relevant CoalGate files?
404 Not Found.

Can you give me the details of the Bofors case?
301 Moved Permanently.

I want to peacefully protest against the government.
401 Unauthorized.

But my method is totally peaceful!
405 Method Not Allowed.

Just a teeny weeny protest?
406 Not Acceptable.

I am going to keep trying.
408 Request Timeout.

Can I contest the elections from the Congress ticket?
402 Payment Required.

It’s a crisis. Please connect me to Pappu.
410 Gone.

Despite what Pappu says, I’m angry.
420 Enhance Your Calm.

When will you remove poverty from India?
102 Processing.

Can you give me all the list of real (not claimed) accomplishments of UPA2?
204 No Content.

How will Pappu solve all the problems of India?
413 Request Entity Too Large.

How are you coping dealing with CoalGate, ThoriumGate…
504 Gateway Timeout.

Some average citizen is criticizing the government. Can you arrest him?
202 Accepted.

Finally during 2014, when the Congress asks for votes, the citizen will say…
426 Upgrade Required.
Or
444 No Response.

© Sunil Rajguru