Category Archives: Indian Politics

Pappu’s favourite songs…

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Kai baar yoon bhi dekha hai,
Ye jo mann ki gareebi rekha hai…

Ye PM ki gaddi mil bhi jaaye to kya hai?

Mera naam Papp-Pappu,
Papp-Pappu baba Papp-Pappu,
Raat chaandni main aur tu,
Hello, voter how do you do?

Kuchh to log Tweet karenge, logo ka kaam hain Tweet karna,
Chhodo bekaar ke trolls ko, kahi beet na jaaye raina…

Mera joota hai politics,
Mere patloon main hain politics,
Sar pe secular topi hai politics,
Aur ye dil bhi hai politics…

Nanhaa munnaa raahi hoo, desh ka sipaahi hoo,
Bolo mere sang, Vote Cong, Vote Cong, Vote Cong…

Suhaana safar aur ye mausam haseen,
Hamain darr hai hum satta kho na jaaye kahin…

Politics ki duniya se ho ke majboor chala,
Main bahut door, bahut door, bahut door chala…

Manmohan teri sarkar maili ho gai,
Paapiyo ke paap dhote dhote…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Twisted quotes to suit scam India…

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Satyam scamam sundaram.

Thorium hai thorium ki zaroorat hai.

2G or not 2G, that is the question.

I love you C.. C… C… Coalgate!

DIAL S for scam.

Tum mujhe cash do, main tumhe (Lok Sabha) votes doonga.

Kar chale hum fida saara dhan saathiyo,
Ab tumhara hawala watan sathiyo.

Arre huzoor, wah Taj scam boliye!

Mera Adarsh hai ek scam.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu and MMS musings…

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Jethmalani was a lawyer in 1942.
Advani was a politician in 1951.
Pappu was a kid in 1979.
Sachin was a cricketer in 1989.
Sigh! Some things never change!

Principle…
Buy one and get one free.
Example…
Vote for Sonia and get Manmohan for free.

If there was such a thing as autopilot to run the country, it would run better than the way it is being run now.

In 2004, Manmohan Singh was a trainee Prime Minister.
In 2008, he was still on Probation.
He was confirmed in 2009 and like all good government employees, promptly stopped working after that.

What if…
Rupee fir jawan ho raha hai, market fir uth raha hai, public memory short hai, so in 2014…
I’ll be back!
—Manmohan Singh.

CBI.
For Friends of Congress
= Criminal Bachao Institution
For Enemies of Congress
= Criminal Banao Institution.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Remixed election jingles for Pappu…

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Poora scam ka paisa khaayenge,
Congress ko jeetayenge.

Aadhi roti hawa main,
Pappu beta tawa pe,
Kya ye desh ki dawa hai?
Abbe kya tu daaru pee ke pada hai?

Na billi hain na parcha hai,
Bas Pappu ka hi charcha hain,
Par ye kya wakayi accha hai?
Kyunki ye to baccha hain,
Uska dimaag bhi kuch kaccha hai,
Ye sab solaah aane saccha hai…

Jab tak suraj chand rahega,
Bhrashtachar tera naam rahega,
Pappu beta tu kya karega?

Pappu hai aur Gandhi hai,
Chai ke pyaale main aandhi hai.

Pappu ka haath,
Aam aadmi ke saath,
Maro apne dimaag ko laat,
Aur lagao desh ki waat.

Pappu ko lana hai,
Congress ko bachana hai,
Bhale hi desh ko marwana hai.

Manmohan hatao aur Pappu ko lao?
Desh ko dubao, mewa khao,
Congress log naacho, kudo aur gaao.

Koi jaat, koi biradar,
Congress main sabhi barabar,
Unless you’re in the Gandhi biradar.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The biggest question…

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In the last couple of years in politics…

Biggest scam: Coalgate.

Most high profile scam: 2G.

Biggest contradiction: MMS is Coal Minister and economic whiz (2G) and yet not accountable.

Biggest scam to claim a CM: Adarsh.

Most scams: UPA2. (All-time record)

Most powerful person: Sonia.

Biggest irony: Sonia gets minimum blame.

Most narcissist leader: Maya. (Statues! Statues! Statues!)

Most paranoid leader: Mamata. (Maoist! Arrest them! Conspiracy!)

Most arrogant: The average Congress spokesperson.

Most Draconian legislation: Section 66A.

Most idiotic statements: Diggy Raja.

Most reluctant leader: Pappu.

Most high-handed action: Water cannons against the anti-rape protestors.

Most riots: UP.

Most fake encounters: UP.

The biggest disappointment: Akhilesh.

Most irrelevant leader: Advani.

The biggest headaches for the aam aadmi: Economy, inflation, petrol-onion prices, job market, agricultural woes…

The biggest question…
If this is the case, then why is most of the time spent in rubbishing, attacking, maligning and going after Modi?

© Sunil Rajguru