The Modi wave is here…

Na billi hai na parcha hai,
Bas Modi ka hi charcha hai,
Jo na samjhe ye aaj bhi ye,
Woh to waakahi baccha hai.

Sheila: Agar Pappu fail na hota to main CM banti.
Harsh Vardhan: Agar Kejriwal na hota to main CM banta.
Kejriwal: Agar Modi wave na hota to main CM banta.

2012: Is Advani an alternative to Modi?
2013: Is Pappu an alternative to Modi?
2014: Is AAP an alternative to Modi?
Deny karte karte Modi ka ek term poora bhi ho jaayega.

Kejriwal wave in Delhi.
Modi wave all over India.
Pappu waves Congress chances goodbye.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How every Congress leader changes a fused light bulb in the house…

How does Pappu change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He just declares light a state of mind.

How does Sonia change a light bulb in her house?
She just expresses her unhappiness over darkness and a 100 people come to change the bulb.

How does Manmohan change the light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. The servants just see a dark silent room and think nothing is wrong.

How does Antony change a light bulb in his house?
It’s tricky. When the electrician comes, he suspects it’s an intruder in electrician’s uniform.

How does Khurshid change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He challenges darkness: Aaye to ho mere ghar main, magar waapis kaise jaoge?

How does Sushilkumar Shinde change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He thinks it’s just another mega power blackout.

How does Sibal change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He just declares Zero Loss of light.

How does Diggy Raja change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He sits and blames the RSS non-stop sitting in the darkness.

How does Manish Tiwari change a light bulb in his house?
He does it holistically.

How does Tharoor change a light bulb in his house?
He first Tweets about it and has a detailed discussion on Twitter.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How to un-bifurcate a State…

Advisor: We are getting wiped out in Andhra Pradesh.

Congressman: Divide and rule. AP has three divisions: Telangana, Rayalseema and Coastal Andhra. Give Telangana statehood and we’ll at least secure that.

Advisor: Done, but the trouble continues.

Congressman: OK add Rayalseema too to make it Rayal-Telangana.

Advisor: OK, but the trouble still continues.

Congressman: OK add Coastal Andhra too to make it Andhra-Rayal-Telangana!

P.S. And in all these while, governance gaya tel lene.

© Sunil Rajguru

Secularly guided Sting missiles…

Every company and political party in the world buys out social media.
—Cool, let’s target Modi!

Every leader in the world, even Barack Obama, snoops.
—Cool, let’s target Modi!

Every defence deal in the world is corrupt.
—Cool, let’s target NDA!

Every party in India has seen a riot under its rule, especially Congress.
—Cool, let’s target RSS!

Every group in India can be bought over to commit violence.
—Cool, let’s change the script a bit but target Sri Ram Sena and attack BJP-RSS all the same.

© Sunil Rajguru

Thus spake Tarun Tejpal…

I am JAG (Judge Advocate General).

I will choose the Judge.

I will choose the Advocate.

I am the General.

I will decide what crime it is.

I will decide the quantum of punishment,

I will choose victim’s testimony.

I will choose which State police to investigate me.

I will choose the investigating agency.

One second thoughts…

I am Judge Dredd!

I am the law!

#Tehelka

© Sunil Rajguru

More Tehelka musings…

When the Hunter becomes the Hunted.
When the Sting gets Stung.
When the magazine is News and not reporting it.
When the Tehelka is within and not around.

With the way she has behaved I think it is Shoma Chaudhury who should lacerate and take a 6 months recuse while Tarun Tejpal should be handed over to the police.

Q: Why did Tarun Tejpal demand his case be transferred to independent agency?
A: Because Goa is under BJP rule while Tejpal is under Congress rule.

The only good Tarun Tejpal has achieved is that he has increased the vocabulary of the entire middle class India by a count of 2.
#Lacerate #Recuse

Months back…
Shoma: Death penalty not a solution for rapists.
Today…
Tejpal: You are stellar Shoma, what foresight!

If Tehelka had been anti-Congress instead of being so virulently anti-BJP, it would have folded up within 24 hours of the scandal.

By now it’s crystal clear that Shoma Chaudhury doesn’t give a fig for women’s rights and rape but is just another power drunk editor.

2 years’ incarceration
versus
6 months laceration.
A recluse in solitary confinement
versus
A recuse as a judgment.

Nadeem-Shravan collected romantic tunes for years waiting for a Romantic Era to come and then flooded Bollywood.
The anti-Modi camp has been collecting stings for years now, waiting for the run up to 2014, and have started flooding the media with them now.

How they treat a rape accused…
If not for this, then Tejpal is the greatest journalist in the history of India and Tehelka the greatest magazine.

2011: Interpol-Pakistan says Taliban trying to launch India operations.
2013: Tehelka calls Taliban leader to infamous Goa THiNK 2013.
And you really expected better from Tarun Tejpal?

They’re trying to portray Tejpal as a great man who suddenly fell.
Tehelka has always followed journalism of hate.
Plus sexual predators rule media.

Every Character will meet his comeuppance within these 140 Characters.
#Twitter

These versions by Sunil Rajguru