Category Archives: Indian Politics

Rahul vs Modi…

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· Gujarat progress…
Modi backers: Glass is 4/5ths full.
Modi haters: Glass is 1/5th empty! Glass is 1/5th empty!! Glass is 1/5th empty!!!…..

· India doesn’t make sense.
Rahul Gandhi doesn’t make sense.
Analysis: Rahul is perfect to lead India.

· Like the term Sathiya gaya, we need the term Chaalisa gaya for Rahul baba.

· Like antimony, even antimodi should be a word in the dictionary.

· Secularism of Nitish & Co…
In 1992 Advani was anti-secular.
In 2013 he is pro-secular.
Why?
Because he is now anti-Modi!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu can’t rule sala…

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While Nehru was affectionately called Chacha, his great grandson Rahul is called Pappu.
Please sing to the tune of Pappu Can’t Dance from the movie Jaane Tu… Ya Jaane Na.

Hai irregular, hai popular,
Nonspectacular, he is a bachelor,
Pappu ki party Congrezz hai,
Pappu ke jokes ekdum craze hai,
Pappu simply hasn’t a clue,
Pappu dikhta angrez hai,
Bas bade bade sapne uske baaton main,
Stubble Bollywood hero wala,
Par Pappu can’t rule sala,
Haan Pappu raj nahi kar sakta.

Paida Pappu hua to kismate chamki,
Aur uske muh main the chandi ki chamchi,
Pappu ke paas hai paisa,
Haathon ke mail ke jaisa,
Pappu Congrezz ka aakhir hope hai,
Pappu buddhu hai aur short hai,
Par Pappu can’t rule sala,
Haan Pappu raj nahi kar sakta.

Papa kehte hai bada naam karega,
Mera Pappu to aisa kaam karega.

Pappu ke paas hai MBA,
(Master of Bees Administration)
Karta hai foreign main holiday,
Pappu public ki bajata hai,
Jahan jaata hai hasi chah jaati hai.

Per Pappu can’t rule sala,
Haan Pappu raj nahi sakta…

(Original Song: Pappu Can’t Dance.
Movie: Jaane Tu… Ya Jaane Na.
Year: 2008)

This spoof by Sunil Rajguru

More of when Pappu spoke at CII…

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· Advani: Age 85: Still aspires to be PM.
Manmohan: At 80, ready for 3rd term.
Pappu: At 42, hame use kam se kam 40 saal aur jhelna padega.

· All Indians are bees and Pappu is the ultimate top shot MBA.
(Master of Bees Administration)

· I think Pappu has far greater potential that former US Prez George W Bush.
(As fodder for cartoonists, that is)

· Boss, is it bee-coming of a future PM to beehive in such a manner?
Not happening man!

· Nigoda na shaadi karta hai na zimmedari sambhalta hai aur jab dekho ulta seedha bakta rahata hai.
(Must say Sonia is like any other Indian mother)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Pappu spoke at CII…

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· The Pappu CII speech summarized…
Boss. I have lost it. India=Force=Energy=Beehive=Tide. Rani ki Jhansi. Me PM=All smoke. MMS can’t solve problems.

· Harivansh Rai’s epic is Madhushala.
Pappu’s epic is Madhumakkhi.

· Pappu is still a student studying for his theory exams and terrified of practicals.
Passout Modi meanwhile has completed 10 years as CEO.

· He has now been promoted to General Rahul.
(He only talks of Generalities, no specifics)

· Pappu may not increase India’s Gross National Income, but he will sure increase our Gross National Happiness.
All his speeches get maximum ROFLMAOs.

· Pappu is actually laying the groundwork for Priyanka.
When she comes, she’ll feel like a genius in comparison.
Bhai ho to aisa!

· Sonia-MMS-Rahul are India’s Bermuda Triangle.
All progress, sense and scams simply vanish in this triangle.

· Peter Pan never grew old and was always a boy.
So let’s just call him Pappu Pan.

· Pappu said…
India is a beehive.
Unsaid…
My mother is the Queen Bee.

· Prince Hamlet: To be or not to be, that is the question.
Prince Pappu: To bee or not to bee, that is the question.

· Mere hazaaron speeches se accha hai Modi ka ek vakya: Pappu.

· Pappu: When I come to power, I will rename it as “Pradhan Mantri ka Bharat”.
(Ref: Rani Ki Jhansi)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi-Rahul PM musings…

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· Modi is like a hare.
Rahul is like a tortoise.
Sigh!
And we know who wins that race.

· While Modi has mastered the online medium, I wonder if Rahul Baba can even spell “Internet”.

· Modi’s PM candidature: Is the glass half full or half empty?
Rahul’s candidature: The glass is empty.
(Positive spin: It is full of air.)

· Ho sakta hai Modi even 50% phekta hoga apne speeches main.
But other politicians talk 100% nonsense.
50% > 0%.

· In software, subsequent versions get better.
In the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty, subsequent versions steadily get worse.

· Nitish is petrified that under Modi it will become a National Dictatorial Alliance.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

UPA misrule musings…

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· Italian absconders. Lankan Tamils. Pakistani infiltrators. Chinese hackers. Bangladeshi immigrants. Swiss banks. American business…
The sum of India’s foreign policy right now.

· TMC, DMK pull the plug.
Don’t worry.
SP-BSP battery hai na!

· SP-BSP vs Congress.
Masters in UP.
Servants at the Centre.

· Even a Lame Duck looks dynamic compared to the current UPA government, which is totally crippled.

· If there was such a thing as a lame duck Opposition, then the BJP is it.

· US had 9/11, where the Twin Towers were destroyed.
India had 2011, where the Twin Towers of Governance and Stability were destroyed.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru