Modi musings of the day…

· Q: Is the bottle half Full or half Empty?
Media: Dunno about that, but 0.01% of Modi’s speech is Empty and our report is Full of that.

· Indian pays Rs 5 to hear Modi speak.
India pays Rs 5 lakh crore to hear Manmohan’s silence.
‪#‎CostOfScams‬

· I think a few hundred prominent Indian personalities would go into a permanent state of shock and get detached from reality if Modi actually became Prime Minister.

· Yesterday the media covered the Modus Operandi of all political parties.
Today it’s just Modi’s Operandi.

· Seems you either virulently like Modi or virulently hate him or virulently want to ignore him.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu and other Congressi musings…

· Gali gali main shor hai,
Rahul Gandhi bore hai.
#‎PappuSpeeches‬

· If Rahul Gandhi finally and reluctantly becomes Prime Minister, will they call it Uninterested Pappu Alliance?

· UPA kyun haar ke CAGaar par khadi hai?

· The Congress can drastically speed up Internet services in India by merely blocking all pages that have the word Modi in them.

· Why is that party always Maken a fool of itself?

· 1993—SRK: K… K… K… K… Kiran.
Bees saal baad…
Congress: M… M… M… M… Modi.

· The Government of India are great fans of MIB.
No it’s not Will Smith, but Mis Information Bureau.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Today’s Modi musings…

· Modi speaks 10,000 words.
Detractors search for single phrase to distort.
Pappu speaks 10,000 words.
Supporters struggle to search for single meaningful phrase to give positive spin to.

· Someone once asked me how I could accuse Modi of being innocent without any proof.
I think that sums it up quite nicely.

· You know a politician has arrived when an English TV channel telecasts his long Hindi speech live without any breaks.

· Most serious journos secretly wish to write for The Unreal Times/Faking News.
They get that wish when they cover Modi.

· In the history of Independent India, no man has been under as much media-judicial-investigative-CBI-NGO scrutiny as Modi.
If after 11 years of such a mindboggling massive witch-hunt, they are unable to even chargesheet him, “Innocent till proven guilty” to permanently gaya tel lene na is desh se?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Twisted quotes for modern Indian politics…

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime—Original quote.
Teach a man to fish and you lose votes. Promise to feed a man a fish every day and you can rule for a lifetime—Sonia Mata on the eve of the Food Bill Ordinance.

I think, therefore I am—Descartes.
I don’t think, therefore am I not?—Pappu.

Think before you speak—Saying.
I speak a lot, but what is this “think” funda that everyone keeps talking about?—Diggy Raja saying.

With friends like these, who needs enemies?—Saying.
With spokespersons like these, who needs the Opposition?—Congress will be saying after the 2014 polls.

Look before you leap—Saying.
Look, I am leaping on your freedom of speech—Government of India is saying.

The BJP pokes its nose in everything—Renuka says.
I don’t have that problem is my nose is always high up in the air—Unsaid.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The actual Yojanas of the UPA…

Making MMS PM…
Kursi Ke Peeche Remote Chalao Yojana.

RTI…
Hame Chhod Kar Baaki Ke Baare Main Jaaniye Yojana.

NREGA…
Crore-o Main Vote Ikkhatta Karo Yojana.

Food Bill…
Crore-o Main Vote Ikkhatta Karo Maha Yojana.

Cases like Ishrat case…
Kisi Bhi Haal Par Modi Ko Fix Karo Yojana.

CBI…
Kisi Bhi Haal Par Saare Opponents Ko Fix Karo Yojana.

NAC…
Unofficial Sonia Power Ko Offical Banao Yojana.

Bharat Nirman…
Bharat Barbaadi Pe Parda Daalo Yojana.

Foreign Policy…
Sabse Dar Dar Ke Jeena Seekho Yojana.

Section 66A…
Hamse Dar Dar Ke Jeena Seekho Yojana.

© Sunil Rajguru

The rulers of India…

· Liberalization Economy Trinity…
Narasimha Rao the Creator.
Vajpayee the Preserver.
Manmohan the Destroyer.

· Spiderman: With great power comes great responsibility.
Sonia: LOL! With absolute power come zero accountability and zero responsibility.
MMS: Power? Woh kya hota hai? Pata nahin? Theek hai!

· The Information Overload in the Modi-Godhra case is absolutely astounding.
So much so that facts have become irrelevant and it’s now just a matter of belief!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru