May 2012 Status Updates

∙ Chennai Super Kings lost domestically.
Chennai Super King won internationally.
Vish Chess had more respect in India.

∙ Rebels: Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Naveen: With a name like “Biju” Janata Dal, what else do you expect?

(May 31)

∙ Irony: Mamata celebrating Bengali pride via Mumbai ownership (SRK) and Delhi leadership (Gambhir). (Tata and Sonia must be laughing)

(May 29)

∙ Anagram of “Dhoni” is “hi Don”. So here’s saying Hi to the new Don of IPL!

∙ White Skin and Black Money: The Indian Dream.

∙ The inflation increase from UPA1 to UPA2 is directly proportional to its increase in vote share.

(May 27)

There was this petrol hike (a real pain),
Of the middle class it was the bane,
It came once and again,
And again and again,
And again and again and again…

∙ The Congress is a sinking ship right now.
But listen to their warning to the common man:
Hum to doobenge sanam, par tumko bhi le doobenge.

(May 24)

∙ Lokpal status…
2011: Anna Movement.
2012: Anda (Zero) Movement.

∙ The answers to all the world’s problems seem to be present in the Facebook News Feed.

(May 21)

∙ Indian politicians targeting cartoonists is but natural.
All power centres eventually go after the direct competition.

∙ The CSK-IPL rule…
If CSK plays really badly in any given IPL, then only 3 other teams will be able to play better. The rest will crash for no apparent reason.

Mishti dohi: Famous sweet of West Bengal.
Dimaag ka dahi: When the mind goes kaput.
Maoisti Dohi: What Mamata’s brains have become.

∙ Anyone remember Didi’s Comedy Show on Doordarshan in the 1990s?
Well, it’s back in West Bengal 24X7.

(May 20)

∙ In Bangalore, it’s always raining. (Thanks to 2 monsoons)

In RCB, it’s always raining 6s. (1 Gayle monsoon is enough)

(May 17)

∙ Son to ND Tiwari: Tu jaanta nahin mera baap kaun hai?

Bakwaas 2G Shaayari…
Raja ki aa gayi hai baraat,
Honi thee yahi baat,
2G probe ki lag gayi vaat,
Bharat ke kuch aise hi halaat,
Sab neta logo ko maaro laat…

∙ The world economy has been hit by Greeced lightning.

∙ Mayawati has a greater ROI than Jaya.
Newspaper ads will be trash tomorrow, but Statues are forever.

(May 16)

∙ Tihar Jail ka Raja-yoga khatam ho gaya hai.

∙ India has achieved Six Sigma Rating in Corruption.
We have less than 3.4 convictions per million corruption cases.

∙ R.I.P. 2G Scam 2007-12.
Thanks for the seemingly 1.76 lakh crore media bytes, status messages, Tweets etc.

∙ The breaking news is actually that A Raja was sentenced to 15 months in a Rs 1.76 lakh crore corruption case and that sentence is now complete.

∙ First A Raja & All: Jail.
Then it’s inevitable: Bail.
Finally corruption case: Derail.
Indian system: Fail.

(May 15)

∙ On retrospect, the Lokpal sense of the house was nonsense. The government should be renamed Anna as they got their way like Big Brother.

∙ Aman ki Asha sounds like a love story with Aman as the boy and Asha as the girl.

(May 9)

∙ Congress to Pranabda…
You are too ripe for the government.
You are too raw for Prime Ministership.
But I think you’re just right for Rashtrapati Bhawan!

(May 4)

© Sunil Rajguru