Thus spake Obama…

Our supporters want to see the photos. To hell with them.
Our enemies will not like to see the photos. We bow to them.
Conspiracy theorists say he isn’t dead. Here, take more fuel.

P.S. Even I haven’t seen the body myself, but I believe the CIA, which has never lied in its life! Plus as a naive gullible powerful leader, I believe that it is impossible to fake videos, photos and DNA tests and it is also impossible for anyone to lie to a US president!

∙ America has been applying so much pressure on Pakistan, that its spine has sunk into the Indian Ocean. Efforts to locate it will be tougher than the search for Osama.

∙ You really can’t blame Pakistan. It has so many terrorists, that it’s quite difficult to keep track. Maybe it should have a yearly census!

∙ Pakistan has been very worried about Kashmir.
Pakistan has been very worried about Afghanistan.
Pakistan has been very worried about India.
If only Pakistan was so worried about Pakistan!

∙ The burqa should not be banned. In fact, certain men in the Pakistani government should take to wearing it from now on…

∙ Why no Rajnikant jokes on this?
Here’s a pretty lame attempt…
Rajnikant was busy shooting for Robot, Sivaji etc all this while and he lost track of Osama. Last month he called up Obama and asked him why Osama wasn’t caught yet. Obama got scared, the CIA went into overdrive and Osama panicked. The rest is history.

This version by Sunil Rajguru