Overheard… online chapter

• Father: No news of him. He just fell off the Face of the Earth.
Son: No news of him. He just fell off Facebook.

• Today I’ve been feeling really lonely… like I’m the only person on Earth.
Maybe you should see a doctor.
Nah! I’ll be fine tomorrow. My Internet connection is down today.

• Dad…
…when we die, does our soul go to cyberspace?
…did people interact with each other before there were social networking sites?
…if they unleash a virus, then will there be a virtual famine in Farmville?

© Sunil Rajguru

Money aur Mayadi

Please read to the tune of Bunty aur Babli

Chal chal chal chal chalat chalat jab thaat dikhaye aur baat dikhaye oye Money!
Pal pal pal pal palat palat jab kamar ghumaye aur hosh udaye oye Maya
di!
Arre lattu ghumaike chakkar chalaike loot le ho duniya ko thenga dikhaike,
Aisa koi saga nahi jisko thaga nahi aisi mari langdi ki soya jaga nahi,
Chal chal chal chal chalat chal jab thaat dikhaye aur baat dikhaye oye Money!
Pal pal pal pal palat palat jab kamar ghumaye aur hosh udaye oye Maya
di!
Money aur Maya
di, Money aur Mayadi,
In dono ki jodi shamat shamat aur qayamat yaaron… ho ho!!!

This Version By Sunil Rajguru

(Original Song: Bunty aur Babli
Film: Bunty aur Babli
Year: 2005)

The truth behind “eco-friendly” Note Garlands…

Madam Supremo,

I am humbly suggesting my humble suggestion at making our party more eco-friendly. India has thousands of leaders who attend thousands of rallies in a day and are felicitated with garlands of hundreds of flowers per garland. That is millions of flowers per day and billions in a year! To think Madam Supremo, billions of flowers are plucked by selfish human hands only to go into the dustbin! This is the criminal waste! Tonnes of floral waste are also released into the environment every year.

We need a solution for this. Recycling is the mantra of the environmental world. There should be no waste, only recycling. What is the ultimate recycle of the modern world? Money! The same note comes out of the mint, goes into the bank and exchanges hands between poor people, rich people, businessmen, politicians… We can inaugurate new notes as garlands after which they will be disbanded and released into the party and further into the nation. Let us call them “Note Garlands” and implement them with immediate effect. They are eco-friendly and will help save the environment!

We can authorize garlands according to denomination and rank accordingly:

Rs 1000 notes: For Madam Supremo only.
Rs 500 notes: For senior party functionaries.
Rs 100 notes: For district level heads.
Rs 50, 20, 10, 5 notes: Free for all.
Re 1 and Rs 2 notes: Classic old notes. In short supply. For Madam Supremo on special occasions only.

To think of the enormous free publicity we will get on 24 hour news channels! There will be no need to print pamphlets for party propaganda, a further saving for the environment!

We encourage other professions to follow suit:
Journalists can felicitate Editors with garlands of yesterday’s newspapers.
Star Hotels can felicitate VVIPs with garlands of used paper napkins.
Students can felicitate teachers with garlands of used notebooks and of textbooks.
Municipalities can felicitate leaders with garlands of fallen leaves.
And so on and so forth.

We have only one planet.
Let us save it.
Jai Hind!
Jai Madam!

Yours Sincerely,
Co-ordinator
Party Felicitation Committee

© Sunil Rajguru