1. She would build a 58-foot monolithic statue of herself at the centre of Lucknow, relegating the 57-foot Bahubali statue in Shravanabelagola (the current world record holder) to second spot.

2. The Taj Mahal would become the official residence of the Prime Minister of India and Agra would be the national capital.

3. Amar Singh would be secretly tossed into the Indian Ocean without a life jacket.

4. Connaught Place would be turned into a huge Ambedkar Park. This would include the inner Connaught Circus and radial roads. All roads like Kasturba Road, Sansad Marg etc would become dead ends, with a statue of Mayawati signifying that the road has indeed come to an end.

5. A record 1.5 million government officials would be transferred all over the country within a week of her coming to power.

6. Her income tax would go up from Rs 26 crores to Rs 26,000 crores, which would be bandied as an achievement. The amount would be touted as her “donation” to the Central Government.

7. Along with Income Tax, we would have to pay a Mayawati Birthday Tax Surcharge. Habitual evaders of this surcharge would be shot dead in the long run.

8. She would file 1000 cases each against Mulayam, Rahul, Narendra Modi and maybe a 1000 other people.

9. Shoes would be banned at her rallies citing security issues. One rupee would be charged for their safekeeping. The money would go to the Mayawati Income Tax Donation Fund, which would now become Rs 27,000 crore.

10. Mahatma Gandhi would be stripped of his Father of the Nation status. That title would now go to Kanshi Ram.

11. Sanjay Dutt would get a pardon in his Arms case and be given a 20-year-jail term instead for his “Jadu ki jhappi” statement towards her.

12. The Laws of Manu would be banned. The Laws of Maya would be promulgated. India would make its transition from the Manuvadi to the Mayavadi era.

13. Uttar Pradesh would be renamed as Gautam Buddha Nagar, Lucknow as Kanshirampur. Agra would be quickly renamed Mayanagri.

14. The national motto of India would change from Satyamev Jayate to Sab Maya Hain!

15. Sonia, Mamata and Jaya would be exiled. Ek desh main sirf ek Loha Mahila raha sakti hain!

Maya Ho!

© Sunil Rajguru