Some sample ballot papers…

If you live in the most populous state of India:
Vote for…

1. A party whose leader is busy building statues in her image and receiving garlands worth crores of Rupees.
2. A party whose leader doesn’t know what governance is and believes Romeos will whistle at Women MPs.
3. A party which knocked down a religious structure and then went on to decimate its own party leadership.
4. A party which used to bag 100% Lok Sabha seats in the State; which gave the country a few PMs and yet hardly did any development in its decades of rule.

If you live in the State that houses the financial capital of India:
Vote for…

1. A party which has ruled the state for decades and currently seems to have no ideology whatsoever.
2. A party with an extreme ideology.
3. A newer party with an even more extreme ideology.
4. A party whose ideology currently seems confused but seems to support the party with the extreme ideology.

If you live in the most intellectual state of India:
Vote for…

1. A party which has been ruling for decades and hardly has any development to show for it and who’s muscle power is more visible than anything else.
2. A party whose leader is the ultimate agitator and one feels will just agitate and not govern or rule if it comes to power.
3. A party which unleashed such violence in the sixties and seventies that people still do not want to touch it with a bargepole.
4. A party which has a marginal presence in this part of the country and who’s ideology no-one can identify with.

If you live in a State that has been granted special status:
Vote for…

1. A party that belongs to the Abdullah dynasty.
2. A party that belongs to the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty.
3. A party that belongs to the Sayeed dynasty.
4. A party that doesn’t belong to any dynasty.

If you live in God’s Own Country:
Vote for…

A coin will do as there are only two groupings have any chance of being in power and that’s the way it’s been for decades.

© Sunil Rajguru