Famous quotes twisted for status messages…

Show a man your status message and amuse him for a minute.
Teach him how to update his own status message and screw him for life.

There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a status message. The other is as though everything is a status message.

Friends, followers and connections, lend me your likes.

I came, I surfed, I liked.

Speech is silver, silence means you’re nothing but a lurker.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become status messages.

Brevity is the soul of wit and long status messages point to the soul of a twit.

Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just like my status messages and be my friend.

A friend is someone who knows all about you and still likes your status messages.

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy writing stupid status messages.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Twisted quotes for Indian TV news channels…

Great men said great things. Here’s twisting them to suit a topic…

• Breaking News at all costs, Breaking News in spite of all terror, Breaking News however long and hard the road may be; for without Breaking News, there is no survival.

• When all the IPL controversies have ended, when all the Rahul-Rakhi-Sania swayamwars are over, when all the trivial news items have been squeezed like lemons, when all the viewers have deserted you, only then will you discover you cannot remember how to cover the real issues anymore.

• We have long observed that every news item has the result, and therefore probably the purpose, of forcing the viewer out of real life, of alienating him from actuality.

• There is no hunting like the hunting of celebrity, and those who have hunted the greatest celebrities long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.

• I know Indian news channels as few other men now living know it, and nothing to me is more revolting. I have long advocated its complete abolition, as its very destructiveness on both friend and foe has rendered it useless as a method of settling issues.

• I’m afraid that if you analyze a thing long enough on TV news, it loses all of its meaning.

• We believe in a long, prolonged, derangement of the news item in order to obtain the TRP ratings.

• As long as people believe in absurdities they will continue to watch Indian news channels.

• We may find in the long run that TV news is a deadlier weapon than the machine-gun.

• God sends ten thousands truths, which come about us like birds seeking inlet; but we are shut up to them, and so they bring us nothing, but sit and sing awhile upon the roof, and then fly away. Meanwhile, inside, we prefer to watch falsehoods on TV.

• In the long run, all news items are dead.

(Can you guess the original quotes?)

This Version By Sunil Rajguru