Every day is a Sonday 7…

∙ He says that his body clock is probably set according to a US time zone and not the Indian one.
That’s why he’s so hyperactive late in the night and lethargic in the classroom during the day!

∙ Nowadays when he’s done something bad, he demands that I shout at him in advance, so that he can tell me what wrong he’s done and why in peace without worrying about the consequences.

∙ Once he said, “Mujhe lobia ka gaana sun-na hai.”
(Lobia in Hindi=Black Eyed Peas in English)
(Or how Cool becomes Uncool)

∙ Once the menu for dinner was simple a dal-chawal.
He sighed and said, “Kya 1947 ka khaana khila rahe ho!”
When I asked him what he meant by that, he said, “I’m sure that when Mahatma Gandhi came home in that year, his wife must have fed him something like this.”

∙ Everything has to be said grandly.
Once he refused to do something because it was forbidden by his mother.
He declared, “It is against the Laws of Mamma!”

∙ “One of these days I’m going to hack into your website and go crazy there!”
Sigh, threats aren’t what they used to be!

© Sunil Rajguru

Every day is a Sonday 4…

1. I was playing with my son non-stop.
I said I wanted a break and also needed to grab a bite.
He got flustered and angry and yelled, “Why? Whatever for?”
Then he calmed down and smiled saying, “Aakhir aap bhi to insaan ho na?”
(Thank you kids for recognizing that parents are human too!)

2. One day I was surprised to see him with his eyes closed and hands folded, praying in front of the computer.
He was invoking the gods to win his Internet game!

3. I cleaned his room thoroughly and put fresh bedsheets and all.
He walked in, looked around and asked, “Is this what they call progress?”

4. We were watching a programme on alien abductions and they showed a man who had a mysterious object embedded in his arm. The doctors took it out and looked foxed.
“I bet it’s made in China,” quipped my son!

5. Me and my wife were discussing a newspaper article where a man sold his kidney to buy a ticket for the world cup final.
After India beat Sri Lanka in the final, he asked me, “Us aadmi ka kidney vasool ho gaya hoga na!” Paisa vasool I’ve heard, but this was a new one.

6. My son says that the word “super” is so outdated in today’s age.
“It’s the age of hyper,” he says.
So it’s hyper cool! Hyper man! He even says hyperb instead of superb.

7. I explained him the concept of a salt and pepper beard. Now every black beard is a pepper beard and every white beard is a salt beard.

8. When I explained him the concept of week days and weekends, he asked, “Is there such a thing as week year, where you work for 5 years and get off for 2 years?”

9. Kids are very conscious in using banned words in front of elders.
I heard him singing the hit song in the following manner…
Sheela ki jawani,
You just can’t say the next line!
Main tere haath na aani…

10. He was heartbroken to find out that cricketers played for money. He always thought they played for free, just for the sheer pleasure of cricket!

11. He was sitting in front of the TV with an untouched lunch plate.
“Oh God! I’m so hungry and I can’t eat.”
When I asked him why, he said, “My serial has gone on a break. Food doesn’t taste the same during an ad break and hence I have no choice but to wait!”

12. Cartoons are repeated endlessly and kids watch an episode dozens of times. So a common question is, “Why is he going to do that in the next scene? Why will that happen in the next scene?”

13. He still can’t get over the fact that the Chak de India film world cup doesn’t count as a world cup in real life too. “They played so well, didn’t they!”

14. When I said, “May you live a 100 years,” he replied, “May you live 50 billion years!”

15. On the last day before the vacations, he suddenly yelled, “Thank God! My worst nightmare is over!” When I asked him what, he replied, “Studies!”

16. I was playing cricket with my son. I got his wicket, clean bowled.
He stood his ground and challenged me saying, “The ball pitched more that 2.5 metres from the stump!”
When I ridiculed him for that, in the very next match he said, “I’ll play as long as there are no umpire reviews! Every decision has to be final!”

© Sunil Rajguru

Sonny Quotes

• Question of the Son: AFTER getting the Nobel Peace Prize, can one do as much violence as one wants?

• My son says that it’s necessary for small kids to scream every now and then for no reason to reduce the stress in their life…

• “Son, whatever goes up, must come down”… “But Papa, that doesn’t hold true in space, right?” Sigh! Today’s kids: Try telling them anything at your own risk.

• My son calls me Tiger! Then he adds the National Geographic fact that tigers sleep about 20 hours a day and are irritable and angry during their waking hours.

© Sunil Rajguru