Pappuphobia: The fear that Rahul Gandhi may one day become Prime Minister.
Usage: Even though the Congress may lose on May 16, Pappuphobia may be around for a few more decades.
I don’t believe in the Peter Principle.
Pappu is at least 20 levels above his competency level.
I doubt there can ever be a Pappu Wave even within the Congress party.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
In an exam paper, Modi got 80/100 and Kejri got 0/100.
Kejri screamed, “Modi failed to get 100 by 20 marks!” a few dozen times.
Media reported: Modi failed by 20 marks.
Pappu couldn’t even give the paper.
Sonia said, “Had he given the paper, he would have got 100/100.”
Media reported: Pappu narrowly misses getting 100/100.
Final headline…
Pappu best candidate. Kejriwal best challenger to Modi.
(And that’s how we are comparing a man with Zero days experience as Chief Minister with a man with 49 days experience as Chief Minister with a man who has 4500+ days experience as Chief Minister)
© Sunil Rajguru
The diminishing dynasty…
Nehru: Ruled till death.
Indira: Ousted and returned.
Rajiv: Ousted in one term.
Sonia: Never made PM, but power behind it.
Rahul: Will never taste power?
Destruction ka dwaar Pappu sarkaar.
Ab ki baar Modi sarkaar,
Agli baar Pappu sarkaar,
Media ki pasand Kejru sarkaar.
The most successful Congress campaign slogan this time would be…
Agli baar Pappu Sarkaar.
(Would be valid in 2019 too)
After elections, AAP and Congress can merge to become Aam Aadmi Congress.
Party President: Pappu.
2019 PM candidate: Kejriwal.
NaMo: Maine use apni naani yaad dilaa doonga!
Pappu: Fail! Main daadi ko yaad kar raha hu!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Sonianomics…
Free food. Free cash. Free houses. Free insurance. Free…
Everything but Free Speech.
There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch!
—Robert Heinlein.
Free lunch is my middle name!
—Arvind Kejriwal.
LOL! Me free lunch, dinner and breakfast!
—Sonia Gandhi.
Modi wants to be PM…
#ChaiPeCharcha.
Pappu wants to be PM…
#GaddiPeBachcha.
Blame for India’s megascams, economy, problems…
10% Manmohan.
1% Pappu.
0% Sonia.
Q: What about the remaining 89%?
A: Modi hai na!
Last Congress majority government ended in 1989.
Last Congress minority government ended in 1996.
Last Congress coalition government ended in 2014?
Just treat all these non-stop Congress ads as something part of their “Farewell campaign”.
Janata Party died in 1980.
Janata Dal died in 1998.
Congress is desperately attempting suicide in 2014.
The problem is that the Congress party seems to have only one theme song…
“Gandhi baat, voters ke sangh karoonga main Gandhi baat…”
An Absolute flood of ads with the faces of Pappu, Sonia and Manmohan…
Main (Pappu) nahin, Hum (Pappu-Sonia-Manmohan).
#HoRahaBharatBarbaad
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Did you know Manmohan Singh has refused his monthly salary?
Ab koi free main kaam karega to aisa hi bakwaas kaam karega na?
Pappu: Change the system! Bring in outsiders!
Note: Congress is the system. Pappu is the ultimate insider.
Subliminal message: Don’t vote for me or the Congress!
Congress is making great progress.
First they were stuck in 2002 (Godhra).
Then they were caught in 2004 (Ishrat case).
Now they’ve moved on to 2005 (Aseemanand allegations).
TV bytes…
What will happen to Pappu’s 6 bills… Pappu’s 6 bills… Pappu’s 6 bills…
Sounds like a kid bawling for 6 chocolate bars.
Congress plays politics like an ODI match.
They leave heavy scoring for the slog overs.
When play is called off due to bad light/rain, they lose and cry foul.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
What about SIT for 1984?
Pappu: It’s OK, I don’t want to sit. As it is I stand for RTI, women empowerment and changing the system.
Before interview…
Congress: Jab bhi hum 2002 bolte hai, woh 1984 kahate hai!
Pappu: Main theek karta hu.
After interview…
Congress: Hey bhagwan, ab sab sirf 1984 bol rahe hai, 2002 nahin!
Pappu: RTI. Women emporment. System….
1922: James Joyce masters Stream of Consciousness novel.
2014: Pappu masters Stream of Consciousness interview.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru