Tag Archives: NaMo

Some more Pappu-Modi musings…

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There is a Pappu wave too, only you don’t see it.
The electorate is getting ready to wave Pappu goodbye in 2014.

In a parallel universe, Modi has been hanged and Diggy Raja has received the Nobel Prizes of Peace and Literature.

Baba Ramdev blasts “Burqa of secularism”.
Probably would have preferred “Salwar kameez of secularism”.

1. Is Modi guilty in 2002?
2. Gujarat development is real.
3. He’s extremely popular offline too.
Just because you believe 1. is true doesn’t mean 2. and 3. automatically become false.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu-Modi musings…

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How to become PM
Modi: Lifelong struggle up. Develop State. Win 3 mandates. Give rousing speeches. Fight media. Fight 24X7.
Pappu: Get born!

I am a Hindu Nationalist: Modi.
TV news analysis…
I am a: Huge ego.
Hindu: Communal.
Nationalist: Anti-national.
Modi: Hitler.

Modi: Mere paas teen teen mandate hai, development hai, social media hai, brilliant speeches hai, passionate supporters hai… tere paas kya hai?
Pappu: Why do you have so much anger? It must be brought down!

Q: Have you heard the nonsense of Pappu in textbooks?
A: Pappu himself is a textbook case of nonsense.

Sibal rubbishes Gujarat Model.
Simple.
The way he declared “Zero Loss” in 2G scam, all he has to do is declare “Zero Gain” in the Gujarat Model.
Elementary, my dear Sibal!

Think it over…
65 MPs refuse to accept the validity of a thrice elected Indian CM.
But 65 MPs accept the validity of a US President taking action against him.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Unending Modi musings…

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· The sum of India’s foreign policy…
Pakistan terrorist can come to India.
Chinese soldier can come to India.
Bangladeshi citizen can live in India.
Indian Rupee can go to Switzerland.
Modi can’t go to America.

· Gameplan…
Obama ko likho, Advani ko chadao, Ishrat ko martyr banao, Pappu ko PM banao, agencies ko ladao, secularism 24X7 japo… bas Modi ko roko!

· Visa Request bahut suna hai.
But Visa Rejection Request?
It happens only in India.

· MPs to Nehru, 1948: Sir, don’t internationalize the Kashmir issue.
MPs to Manmohan, 2013: Sir, we are internationalizing the Modi issue.

· BJP Lok Sabha seats in 2014…
140: RIP BJP.
160: NDA2 without Modi.
180: Modi PM.
200: ‪#‎BhaagoNaMoAaya‬

· I personally think it’s quite tough for Modi to make PM in 2014.
But he sure has shaken up things and got everyone running for cover!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How they shift the goalposts when it comes to Modi…

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Activists: Take action during riots! Take action during riots!
Modi enters…
Activists: Action not enough. Own moral responsibility and resign! Get hanged if possible!

Commentators: Save Hindi and other Indian languages. English is spoiling it all.
Modi enters…
Commentators: Ye kya India chalayega? Ye to English bhi nahin jaanta!

Civil society: We need a firm strong iron hand to solve the problems of this country.
Modi enters…
Civil society: Dictator! Fascist! Hitler!

NGOs: There is only one thing that matters. Development. Development. Development.
Modi enters…
NGOs: Shame! His development is not inclusive.

Politicians: Caste equations… blah blah blah… minority votebank… blah blah blah…
Modi enters…
Politicians: Communal! Communal! Communal!

Media: Merchant of death! Fascist! Hitler! Dictator! Communal! Murderer!
Modi gives a speech…
Media: What strong language! He is not fit to rule India!

Political planner: So then let’s spend Rs 100 crore on social media. Great plan!
Modi enters…
Political planner: Fraud! Fake accounts! You can’t win elections via social media!

© Sunil Rajguru

Modi, tere paas kya hai?

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Indian Politician: Mere paas US ka ticket hai, elite institute ka degree hai, fancy English accent hai, exclusive club membership hai, international friend aur contact circle hai, dollars ki dher hai… tere paas kya hai?
Modi: Saala ye US Presidential polls hai ki Lok Sabha elections?

Parliament: Mere paas murder accused hai, rape accused hai, 2G scam hai, Coalgate hai, CWG hai, ungineet scams hai, disruption ka power hai, anek walkouts hai, Swiss bank accounts hai, (in fact Sachin Tendulkar bhi hai)… tere paas kya hai?
Modi: Aila! Aur aap criminal mujhe bolte hai?

Indian leader: Mere paas caste equations hai, minority votebank hai, regional satraps ka backing hai, pseudo-intellectuals ka fraud secular certificate hai… tere paas kya hai?
Modi: Aur mujhe laga ki 1947 ke baad Constitution ne sab ko equal bana diya… no discrimination on the basis of caste, religion, region…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Can’t visit the US, can’t rest in India…

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· America is the new holy land.
If a particular person steps foot on it, it will become communal.

· Lose Lok Sabha election. Become PM.
Be murder accused. Become MP.
Get elected CM thrice. Get hounded like a common criminal.

· Everyone wants to select/veto Modi as PM.
But in the end that call will be taken by 545 old fogies, one-third of them likely to be chargesheeted, solely based on what “deal” they get.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru