Sibal: Censor cyberspace!
Cyberspace: Censor Sibal!
Singhvi: Lokpal draft finished.
Team Anna: Lokpal finished!
Religious leader to women: Please don’t touch bananas.
Congress woman president to party leaders: Please stop going bananas!
Congress: FDI in Retail.
The Rest: Retail of Foreign Delayed Indefinitely.
Pranab Mukherjee: We are lucky that we are not eating lizards!
Citizen to politician: You lizard!
© Sunil Rajguru
Desibal: The amount of noise Sibal makes when he makes a grand announcement about things like policing the Internet.
1 Desibal = 200 decibels (dB).
Reference: 130dB=Threshold of pain. 194dB=The theoretical limit for undistorted sound.
Invisibal: The unseen logic of all the school of thoughts in the world that do not conform to Sibalism.
Abolisibal: Something that should be totally done away with, like cyberspace and the BJP.
Irasibal: The irritation we feel when we see Sibal and the irritation he feels when he looks down upon us.
Sensibal: What Mr Sibal thinks he is when he is actually nonsensibal.
Coersibal: The force which Sibal thinks he has to coerce us into submission.
Convinsibal: A synonym for unable of being convinced.
Enforsibal: Cyberspace censorship? Ha ha ha!
Forsibal: What we will do if you don’t compy with us.
Permisibal: The condition of only pro-Congress things being allowed in India.
© Sunil Rajguru
In Steven Spielberg’s movie Minority Report, the pre-crime division arrested people before they committed the crime!
The UPA is working on a similar technology by which all anti-Congress status messages, comments and photographs will be blocked even before they can be put up.
After Spielberg, the UPA is looking to better George Orwell’s Thought Police.
Nineteen Eighty-Four has come and gone, but beware of Two Thousand-Twelve!
The Cybernukkad…
What if a Government official announced at every nukkad in India that speaking against the government was banned?
What would happen?
There would be a revolution all across India!
So then, why are you trying to do the same at all Cyberspace nukkads?
© Sunil Rajguru
Once a consultant visited Congress headquarters.
A worker banged his head against the wall and kept shouting that he couldn’t get his mind off the pain.
The consultant stomped the worker’s foot.
As the worker hopped in pain, he yelled at the consultant, “What did you do that for?”
The consultant said, “How’s your head pain?”
The worker said, “I can’t feel it!”
The consultant said, “The body can handle only one pain centre at a time!”
One leader found this quite amusing and wondered if the same experiment could be applied to the nation.
Nation reeling from scams.
Bam! Arrest Anna Hazare.
Nation reeling from high-profile arrests.
Bam! Rahul Gandhi talks utter nonsense!
Nation still reeling from scams.
Bam! FDI in retail.
Nation reeling from inflation, petrol price hikes.
Bam! Censor cyberspace!
Next Bam! Is what?
© Sunil Rajguru
∙ Diggy Raja to Sibal: Jitni shaurat mujhe politics main chaalis saal main nahin mili, us-se jyaada tumhe cyberspace main ek chaalis minute ke press conference ke baad mili!
∙ Kapil, what you are trying to do on the Internet is imposibal!
∙ Khoob jamega rang, jab mil baithenge teen dost…Sibal, Diggy aur Stupidity…
∙ Sone… <Kapil Sibal joins Facebook>
…pe suhaaga… < Facebook introduces Hate button>
∙ Ab har Mummy apne bete se kahegi…
Log off kar de beta, warna Kapil Sibal aa jaayega!
∙ Saare netizens Darr rahe kyunki Cyber Dada aa raha hai… we are afraid of you K K K K K Kapil!
∙ Google India is thinking that if it can get a cent for every sentence against Sibal on Google, it could substantially increase its revenues.
© Sunil Rajguru
Sibal: Cyberspace main aag lagi hai!
(Bhai sahab ne ek baalti uthai aur uske andar ka samagri ko aag main daal diya…)
Advisor: Sahab, woh baalti main paani nahin tel tha!
Sibal: Oops! I did it again!
Arthath: UPA ka fire-fighting phir tel lene gaya!
Advisor on December 5: Sir, there are about 7.2 million status messages, Tweets and pictures against the Congress!
Advisor on December 7: Sir, there are about 2.4 million status messages, Tweets and pictures against the Congress!
Sibal: So my press conference was a grand success!
Advisor: Errr…. Now there are 934.3 million status messages, Tweets and pictures against you sir!
© Sunil Rajguru