Tag Archives: facebook

The Facebook Ilu Ilu song…

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Please read to the tune of the song Ilu Ilu from the film Saudagar…

Ilu…
Ilu ilu…
Ye ilu ilu kya hai yeh ilu ilu,
Jab news feed main koi status message aaya to dost ne kaha,
Ilu ilu… ilu ilu…
Picture dekh ke aaya dher saara maja, to bola ye samaa,
Ilu ilu… ilu ilu…
Jab koi virtual cheez achhi lagti hai, badi pyaari pyaari lagti hai,
To dost click karta hai,
Ilu ilu… ilu ilu…
Ye ilu ilu kya hai ye ilu ilu,
Ilu ka matlab I l you, I l you,
Ilu ka matlab I like you, I like you,
Hey I like your status, I like your pix, I like your comment…

Ilu…
Ilu ilu…
Ye ilu ilu kya hai ye ilu ilu,
Jab meethe status koi lagaye misri ki meesri ki meethi daliyon se,
Jab mast baharon ka mausam ka koi picture lagaye,
Jab link se aaye koi gyaan guru,
To dost click karta hai,
Ilu ilu… ilu ilu…
Ye ilu ilu kya hai ye ilu ilu,
Ilu ka matlab I l you, I l you,
Ilu ka matlab I like you, I like you,
Hey I like your status, I like your pix, I like your comment…

(Original song: Ilu Ilu.
Film: Saudagar.
Year: 1991.)

This spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Facebook Nations: Relationship Status

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America-Pakistan: It’s Complicated.
(Where US=Husband)

India-Pakistan: Divorced in 1947, still awaiting final settlement.

America-China: It’s Complicated.
(Where US=Wife)

Russia-America: It’s so funny how we don’t talk any more.

Brazil-Argentina: Relationship? Depends whether it’s on the football field or off it!

Afghanistan-Pakistan: Separated at birth, hyphenated in the 2000s.
(Af-Pak)

India-China: Married. (To the concept of being the next Superpower)

Israel-Palestine: Separated at birth, united in conflict.

South Korea-North Korea: Brothers. (In Arms)

England-France: Neighbours. (Thank God for the Channel!)

China-Taiwan-Tibet: What relationship? We are One. (Or so says every schizophrenic)

© Sunil Rajguru

The A to Z of Facebook

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ADHDbook

Boastbook

Commentbook

Dataminebook

Egobook

Friendbook

Gargantuanbook

Hollowbook

iBook

Jokebook

Kaleidoscopicbook

Likebook

Mentalbook

Nonprivacybook

Openbook

Plagiarizingbook

Quackbook

Rantbook

Stalkbook

Timewastebook

Unconstrainedbook

Voyeurbook

Wackobook

Xenocraticbook

Yourbook

Zeitgeistbook

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Kal Aaj Kal aur Facebook

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∙ Yesterday: Friend, Philosopher and Guide.
Today: Friend, Subscriber and Liker.

∙ Yesterday: You’ve got mail.
Today: You’ve got notifications.

∙ Yesterday: Stop bugging me.
Today: Stop poking me.

∙ Yesterday: Main aur meri tanhai…
Today: Main aur mera status message…

∙ Yesterday: If you have 5 true friends, it’s enough.
Today: If you have 500 Facebook friends (true or false, who cares), it’s enough.

∙ Yesterday: The more books you read, the more your brain will develop.
Today: The more friends you have on Facebook, the bigger your brain size.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

The mystery of the Pokebook…

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Dear Facebook,

What the hell do you mean by the feature called Poke?

When someone pokes me, what does that mean? For what joy has it been done?

You very happily inform me that “X has poked you. Poke back.”

Why?

And if I’m poking someone, where am I poking him?

In the eye? In the stomach?

With my finger? With a stick?

“Poke fun at” means to ridicule someone.

“Poke one’s nose into” means to meddle in someone’s affairs…

(That’s what most of us do on Facebook anyway, so is that the real meaning?)

I searched the web and found a quote by your creator Mark Zuckerburg: When we created the poke, we thought it would be cool to have a feature without any specific purpose.

How pokinine!

(My new word for asinine)

Ending this letter with a Superpoke,

Regards,

Sunil Rajguru

Post-death Facebook apprehensions…

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∙ I registered a million cumulative Likes on Facebook in my life and yet everybody hated me!

∙ Does heaven have Facebook?
Even one in hell will do!

∙ Have I secured my Facebook legacy?

∙ Section of a will…
My bequeath my Facebook Password to my account, which has 2235 Friends, 3456 Status messages, 2356 Likes and memberships to 456 Groups to ….. …..

∙ The last message conundrum…
If I get someone to post “I’m Dead” as my last Status Message and it gets a 100 Likes, then are people appreciating my Status or are they happy that I’m dead?

© Sunil Rajguru