Raavan Raj at Ram Lila grounds…

Recently Baba Ramdev was removed from the Ram Lila grounds in New Delhi over the Lokpal agitation issue…

Some musings on the issue…

∙ Old slogan: Sonia nahi ye aandhi hai, doosri Indira Gandhi hai.
New Slogan: Satyagrahi nahin ye atyachari hai, doosri Emergency hai…

Ab to bas Congress se corruption free atmosphere ke liye bheek hi maangna padega…
Ek Lok Pal Bill Anna ke naam pe dede re Baba!

∙ This is how Mahatma Gandhi became famous and the British Empire collapsed.
Doesn’t the Congress Empire know its history?

∙ Baba Ramdev probably got his millionth video byte on Indian TV news.
Jitni shaurat zindagi bhar Yoga se nahin mili hogi, us-se dugni anshan aur arrest se mil gayi!

∙ Is Manmohan Singh going to appoint a Propaganda Minister?
Digvijay Singh seems to be the perfect Goebbels.

∙ Police action was effected late after midnight to avoid banner headlines in the newspapers.
Somehow the government forgot about the news channels and Internet.

∙ Yesterday: Lokpal Wars.
Today: The Corrupt Empire Strikes Back.
Tomorrow: Return of the Satyagrahi?

Waise ye Lokpal Bill hain kya? Ab main bhool gaya hu. Bas Anna Baba ki kahani ban ke raha gayi hai…

© Sunil Rajguru

February 2011 Status Updates

• It takes Libya 42 years to realize Gaddafi is a bad & failed dictator? Wow!
(Egypt, less slow on the uptake: 30 years. Tunisia: 13 years)

• Can Kenya beat Pak?
(Well, that depends on how generous the bookies are and how much in financial need the players are…)

• Locally: Keeping up with the Joneses.
Globally: Keeping up with the Tunisians.

(February 23)

• Wanted: Scam Affairs Minister to manage questions, probes & procedures of so many scams. PM, spokesmen, Sibal & Co. clearly struggling.

(February 15)

Aadhi roti tave pe,
Aadhi roti hawa main,
Puri government tava pe,
Saara corruption hawa main.

(*Translation Note: Hawa=Spectrum)

(February 9)

© Sunil Rajguru

India’s corruption pyramid…

India has a very elaborate corruption pyramid.

At the very bottom is the largest base: All those millions of corrupt people. From the top politicians with their fancy Swiss bank accounts, down to the peon who’ll take a few notes to make sure you meet the babu.

At the second level are the people you think are corrupt. Whispers surround them, but by and large they lead nice corrupt and peaceful lives for life.

At the third level are people who stand exposed. At the local level everyone knows about them. Complaints have been made to no avail. At the national level, they are the stars of 24X7 news channels.

At the fourth level are those who are actually arrested. Yes, the pyramid is really getting narrower now.

At Stage 5 are parked those arrested corrupt entities who have charge sheets filed against them and actually appear in front of a judge.

Level 6: Long-drawn cases and in the unlikely event of a verdict, appeal and movement to a higher court.

Level 7: Bingo! A corrupt official is actually convicted and goes out to serve his full sentence.
(Of course, if you think 8-10 years in a furnished prison cell with mobiles and TV is enough for swindling thousands of crores, then it’s a success. The concerned person is free to retire to Switzerland to spend comfortable last days there.)
I’m sure there must at least be one really corrupt national politician at the top of this pyramid, though I somehow can’t seem to recall him or her right now.

(P.S. Congratulations former telecom minister Mr Andimuthu Raja, for whizzing from Levels 1 to 4 in a matter of years. Now is the time to relax and maybe retire, for you may be stuck in this level for life! Even the next two levels aren’t that bad, though.)

© Sunil Rajguru

All you need is 10 years…

(Recently Rahul Gandhi said something to the effect that just 10 years were needed to bring about a change in the country…)

Rahul: Give me 10 years and I will eradicate corruption.

Advani: That’s what I’m saying! We got just 5 years in power, we need just 5 more. Come on! Give it to me!

Yedyurappa: Advaniji, mere to mushkil se teen saal hi ho rahe hai aur aap mujhe jaane ke liye bol rahe ho!

Manmohan: Ye kya anarth ho raha hai! Year 5 tak corruption khatam tha! Years 5-10 main kaise bad raha hai?

Laloo: Accha ab samjha! Everything went wrong in years 10-15!

Nitish: LOL! Maine to paanch saal main hi kaya palat kiya hai!

CPM: Who is this Rahul Baba? He doesn’t know anything! You actually need 40 years! And we have just done 34! Just give us 6 more years!

People: Eh!!! Nehru got 17. Indira got 15. Manmohan is getting 10. Rajiv, Rao, Shastri together got much more than 10 years. What are you saying? You want to be PM for 10 years?

Congress spokesman: Err, are you saying that the term of Lok Sabha and assemblies should be 10 years instead of 5? Please tell fast, today 7 TV appearances!

India: Rahul Beta, call me India or Hindustan or Bharat or what you will, I have been around for thousands of years!

Rahul: Dil to bachcha hai ji!

© Sunil Rajguru

Some typical Indianisms…

Voluntary Disclosure Income Scheme: A means of gathering money from crooks, thereby pardoning them, thereby creating a pool of money for even more corrupt schemes which can thereby create more crooks those who can then go ahead and redeem themselves when the next round of VDIS comes.
(Ad infinitum)

Party President: Ask the Prime Minister…
Prime Minister: As the concerned minister…
Minister: Ask the concerned officials…
Officials: It’s not our fault, media sensationalizing it, conditions are…
Elsewhere, the Buck stops some where.
In India, the Buck always plays a merry merry-go-round.

A Philosopher’s Worry…
What if none of this is true?
What if it is all unreal?
What if it was already decided by some higher entity?
A Cricket Fan’s Worry…
What if none of this is true?
What if it is all unreal?
What if it was already fixed by some top bookie?

© Sunil Rajguru

How to catch a corrupt politician in India…

Step 1: Question him.

Step 2: File charges against him.

Step 3: Ensure a fair and speedy trial.

Step 4: Convict him.

It’s a Herculean task to just go anywhere near Step. 1.

Thereafter, there’s many as slip between each and every step.

Not to mention the thousands of hours of TV coverage and millions of words written on the issue that all go into a Black Hole…

© Sunil Rajguru