Tag Archives: congress

More 2014 Congress debacle musings…

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Leaving BJP, only 7 parties reached double digits.
This is a Snow White (Modi) and the 7 Dwarves (Sonia, Jaya, Mamata, Naveen, Uddhav, Naidu, KCR) Lok Sabha.

A full revamp in the Congress is on the cards…
New designations…
Sonia: Senior President.
Pappu: Senior Vice President.
Pappini: Acting Associate Vice President.

2002: Modi should resign.
2014: 2002 people may have to resign because of Modi.

Ability…
If Nehru = 100%.
Indira = 50%.
Rajiv = 25%.
Sonia = 12.5%.
Rahul = 6.25%.
Coming soon…
Priyanka = 3.125%.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Telangana, anarchy and a pepper spray…

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Pepper spray in Parliament condemned.
(But criminals in Parliament are fine)
Anarchy in Parliament condemned.
(But anarchy in Andhra Pradesh is fine)
Knife in Parliament condemned.
(But political backstabbing is fine)

Political Kajrare…
Aisi nazar se dekha zalim MP ne Lok Sabha ke chowk par,
Humne Telangana Bill rakh diya chaku ki nok par.
Chorus: Wah wah, kamal ho gaya, woh session fail ho gaya.

Advice to women: Use pepper spray went confronted by shady characters.
News item: MP uses pepper spray in Lok Sabha.

Before…
We will create a new State out of Andhra Pradesh.
After…
We created a new State called Anarchy Pradesh.

Congress MP pepperspraying to protest Congress Speaker tabling a Bill amidst a mess created by the Congress party = Congress (not Parliament/India) shamed.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress and its end of innings…

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Sonianomics…
Free food. Free cash. Free houses. Free insurance. Free…
Everything but Free Speech.

There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch!
—Robert Heinlein.
Free lunch is my middle name!
—Arvind Kejriwal.
LOL! Me free lunch, dinner and breakfast!
—Sonia Gandhi.

Modi wants to be PM…
#ChaiPeCharcha.
Pappu wants to be PM…
#GaddiPeBachcha.

Blame for India’s megascams, economy, problems…
10% Manmohan.
1% Pappu.
0% Sonia.
Q: What about the remaining 89%?
A: Modi hai na!

Last Congress majority government ended in 1989.
Last Congress minority government ended in 1996.
Last Congress coalition government ended in 2014?

Just treat all these non-stop Congress ads as something part of their “Farewell campaign”.

Janata Party died in 1980.
Janata Dal died in 1998.
Congress is desperately attempting suicide in 2014.

The problem is that the Congress party seems to have only one theme song…
“Gandhi baat, voters ke sangh karoonga main Gandhi baat…”

An Absolute flood of ads with the faces of Pappu, Sonia and Manmohan…
Main (Pappu) nahin, Hum (Pappu-Sonia-Manmohan).
#HoRahaBharatBarbaad

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congressi poll musings…

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Did you know Manmohan Singh has refused his monthly salary?
Ab koi free main kaam karega to aisa hi bakwaas kaam karega na?

Pappu: Change the system! Bring in outsiders!
Note: Congress is the system. Pappu is the ultimate insider.
Subliminal message: Don’t vote for me or the Congress!

Congress is making great progress.
First they were stuck in 2002 (Godhra).
Then they were caught in 2004 (Ishrat case).
Now they’ve moved on to 2005 (Aseemanand allegations).

TV bytes…
What will happen to Pappu’s 6 bills… Pappu’s 6 bills… Pappu’s 6 bills…
Sounds like a kid bawling for 6 chocolate bars.

Congress plays politics like an ODI match.
They leave heavy scoring for the slog overs.
When play is called off due to bad light/rain, they lose and cry foul.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How Indian media focuses its camera…

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photographer-424622_640Once upon a time…

Modi’s faults: Zoom in, zoom in!!!
Modi’s successes: Zoom out, zoom out!!!

Congress’s successes: Zoom in, zoom in!!!
Congress’s failures: Zoom out, zoom out!!!

Then…

Just zoom out of Congress (totally gone case) and zoom in on Modi’s speeches.

After that…

AAP’s successes: Zoom in, zoom in!!!
AAP’s failures: Zoom out, zoom out!!!

After the Somnath Bharti raid…

AAP’s faults: Zoom in, zoom in!!!

And it’s always been…

India’s tamashas, nautankis and sensationalist events: Zoom in, zoom in!!!
India’s real issues: Zoom out, zoom out!!!

© Sunil Rajguru

Congressi dynasty musings…

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The Infinity Loop of Inaction…
Pappu: I am ready to do what the Congress wants.
Congress: We are ready to do what Pappu wants.

The symbol of Indian politics should be Two Hands.
One Hand holding the Hammer and Sickle.
The other Hand holding the Broom.

The diminishing Pappu…
2010: Likely successor to Manmohan.
2012: Likely challenger to Modi.
2014: Likely lost it to even Kejriwal.

The dynasty (Sonia) wrecked UPA2.
Solution: Get more dynasty (Pappu).
Failed again.
Next solution: Get even more dynasty (Priyanka).

The Congress is toying with the idea of making the wife of a humble farmer with a simpleton brother their PM candidate.
#PriyankaVadra

Priyanka would be the worst PM ever.
The only choice we’ve known that she’s made is marrying Robert Vadra.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru