Tag Archives: congress

Another round of Congressi musings…

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1942: Congress launched Quit India movement against British.
2014: If Congress gets re-elected, many citizens may want to Quit India.

If Sonia Gandhi is the entire country’s mother, then it’s time every citizen got his or her share of the inheritance.

If and when Pappu becomes Prime Minister, some will call it an Obama moment.
But it will actually be a Kim Jong-un moment.

If the most powerful person in India is “unhappy” and “disappointed” all the time, then I guess the average Indian can only be severely depressed.

Congress leadership: We are ready to sit in the Opposition.
Andhra Pradesh MPs: We are already there!

Nightmare…
2014: Congress decimated, but a Third Front joker becomes PM.
2016: Snap polls. Anti-Third Front wave helps Congress, Pappu becomes PM.
Protests begin yet again.

Looks like…
1. Pappu has failed as General-Secretary.
Make him Vice President!
2. Pappu has failed as Vice President!
Make him Prime Minister!

2004-14…
Manmohan Singh is the messenger.
Sonia Gandhi is the message.
2014…
The voters finally have a message of their own.

Old Sonia = Old Congress.
New Pappu = Old Congress.
No dynasty = New Congress.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Pappu The Great…

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Nehru: Major leaders left him.
Indira: Split the party.
Rajiv: Halved Congress LS mandate.
Sonia: Could never become PM.
Pappu: All of the above?

Q: What is the escape velocity to rid India of the Congress?
A: Pappu!

Sad truth…
Modi: Mere paas 2014 hai, tere paas kya hai?
Pappu: Mere paas 2019, 2024, 2029, 2034… hai!

Pappu wants to learn from AAP.
Pappu + AAP = Paap.
Paapi pet ka sawaal hai!

Every time Pappu opens his mouth, Congress loses tens of thousands of votes.
2013 to sirf jhaaki hai, 2014 abhi baaki hai.

The Nehru-Gandhi dynasty desperately needs employment post-2014.
Pappu pet ka sawaal hai.

Pappu, please give extensive speeches in West Bengal, Kerala and Tamil Nadu.
Thanks to that, the BJP just might open its account in those states.

Pappu’s leadership is nonsense and should be torn up and thrown away.

At this rate just before the Lok Sabha elections, Pappu will call the Congress manifesto nonsense and say it should be torn and thrown away.

Post 2014, Pappu will act in a movie called Ek Tha Dynasty.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Congress The Great…

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The Congress philosophy…
Give a man a fish and gain his vote for an election.
Teach a man to fish and lose a recurring vote forever.

CONGRESS =
Corrupt
Opportunistic
Nepotistic
Gasbags
Registering
Endless
Supersized
Scams.

Post 1947: Angrez gaye.
Post 2014: Congrez jaayenge.

Sonia=TINA Factor.
(There Is No Alternative)
Pappu=also TINA Factor.
(This Is No Alternative!!!)

2004-14…
Manmohan Singh is the messenger.
Sonia Gandhi is the message.
2014…
The voters finally have a message of their own.

What if Manmohan is still thinking now…
Shivraj, Modi, Sheila, Naveen, Sarkar… sabne hat-trick maara.
Ab mera number 2014 main aayega!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How every Congress leader changes a fused light bulb in the house…

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How does Pappu change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He just declares light a state of mind.

How does Sonia change a light bulb in her house?
She just expresses her unhappiness over darkness and a 100 people come to change the bulb.

How does Manmohan change the light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. The servants just see a dark silent room and think nothing is wrong.

How does Antony change a light bulb in his house?
It’s tricky. When the electrician comes, he suspects it’s an intruder in electrician’s uniform.

How does Khurshid change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He challenges darkness: Aaye to ho mere ghar main, magar waapis kaise jaoge?

How does Sushilkumar Shinde change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He thinks it’s just another mega power blackout.

How does Sibal change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He just declares Zero Loss of light.

How does Diggy Raja change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He sits and blames the RSS non-stop sitting in the darkness.

How does Manish Tiwari change a light bulb in his house?
He does it holistically.

How does Tharoor change a light bulb in his house?
He first Tweets about it and has a detailed discussion on Twitter.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How to un-bifurcate a State…

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Advisor: We are getting wiped out in Andhra Pradesh.

Congressman: Divide and rule. AP has three divisions: Telangana, Rayalseema and Coastal Andhra. Give Telangana statehood and we’ll at least secure that.

Advisor: Done, but the trouble continues.

Congressman: OK add Rayalseema too to make it Rayal-Telangana.

Advisor: OK, but the trouble still continues.

Congressman: OK add Coastal Andhra too to make it Andhra-Rayal-Telangana!

P.S. And in all these while, governance gaya tel lene.

© Sunil Rajguru

Sonia musings…

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Sonia: BJP is a party of poisonous people.
+ Sonia: Power is poison.
= What Sonia really said: BJP is a party of powerful people.

It’s absolutely rare in the world for a pathetic orator to be the leader of a political party.
#SoniaGandhi

In Congress, MP stands for Master of Poison.
#Power=Poison #Sonia #Pappu

Power corrupts (UPA1).
Absolute power corrupts absolutely (UPA2).
Beyond that is complete annihilation (UPA3).

All Congress spokespersons play a game call “Passing the Foot in the Mouth Parcel”.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru