RT means…
Twitter—ReTweet.
Travel—Rapid Transit.
Restaurants—Ruby Tuesday.
Titles—Right Honourable.
Cricket—Rohit’s Talent.

Jab tak sooraj chand rahega,
Rohit tera talent rahega.

Talented cricketer kaisa ho?
Rohit Sharma jaisa ho!

The t in Rohit stands for talent!
Woh to theek hain, but will we have to through r o h i first to get to t?

Rohit Sharma’s Test average after his first two innings = 288.
His average in the next 20 innings after firmly establishing his talent = 23.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pakistan…
1947—Failed to get Kashmir Valley.
1971—Lost East Pakistan.
1984—Failed to get Siachen Glacier.
Next to go—Balochistan.

1947—Kashmir War.
1965—Another War.
1971—Bangladesh War.
1984—Siachen Conflict.
1980s+—Khalistan Terror.
1990s+—Valley Terror.
1999—Kargil War.
2000s+—26/11 etc
So what is there to talk with Pakistan and why are we doing it?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress senior leadership exam…

Q1—Write a 1000-word essay on Dynasty founder Motilal.

Q2—Write a 1000-word essay on how Nehru was the greatest world leader ever.

Q3—Write a 1000-word essay on how Indira was the greatest female world leader ever.

Q4—Write a 1000-word essay on how Sanjay was totally misunderstood in the Emergency.

Q5—Write a 1000-word essay on how Rajiv brought computers, the Internet, mobile telephony, modernization, corporate success, the Space Age… to India.

Q6—Write a 1000-word essay on how Sonia saved India from communalism and fanaticism.

Q7—Write a 1000-word essay on how Pappu will take India to the 22nd century within 100 days of taking over as Prime Minister.

Bonus question…
Write a 100,000-word essay on how Modi is more terrible than Hitler.

© Sunil Rajguru

Congress…

Party president ka beta* party president…
Motilal, Jawaharlal, Indira, Rajiv, Sonia, Pappu (next).

Pradhan mantri ka beta Pradhan mantri…
Jawaharlal, Indira, Rajiv, Pappu (next).

Chief Minister ka beta Chief Minister…
Hemwati-Vijay Bahuguna, Shankarrao-Ashok Chavan etc.

Foreign Minister ka beta Foreign Minister…
Khurshed Alam Khan & Salman Khurshid.

Minister ka beta Minister…
Pilot, Scindia and sons etc.

Back CMs like…
Sheikh Abdullah, Farooq (son) and Omar (grandson).
(Even if you want to topple Farooq, use his brother-in-law and make him CM.
Basically it has to be all in the family!
Hasta khilta Congress Pariwar, Hum Saath Saath Hai!)

*Or whichever relative is available.

© Sunil Rajguru

Michael Clarke thrashes England 5-0 in Ashes.
Wins 2015 ODI World Cup and within months he trails England 1-3 and retires.
With same standards Team India would have a captain every 6 months.

Beta tum Rahane do,
Tumse na ho payega!
#ForeignTests

Since he was absent in the last Test, Murali Vijay gets out for a duck at Colombo to express solidarity with Indian batsmen who crashed at Galle.

At Galle, Team India appeared to be winning for the first two days.
Change of strategy at Colombo.
They’ve decided to lose from Over 1.
‪#‎IndVsSL‬ #Colombo

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

It is actually the defence forces who gave us Independence.
1857—Sepoy Mutiny.
1946—Bombay Mutiny.
Both combined outweigh contribution of all other leaders.

Curious…
1973—Indira abolishes OROP.
1973-2004—No PM cares for it.
2004-14—Sonia promises it, does absolutely nothing.
2014-15—Modi starts working on OROP, yet gets maximum media flak!

Senior Congress leaders have already implemented ‪#‎OROP‬.
(One Raag Only Pappu)

The disconnect…
The defence forces have been asking for ‪#‎OROP‬ for 41 years.
Modi has been working on it for 1 year.

Pappu—‪#‎OROP‬ ka demand kaun laya? Congress!
Q—Kaise?
Pappu—Humne OROP hataya, isiliye to “demand” aaya!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru