RCB musings continue…

The greatest 6 hitter of all time (Gayle)
+ The greatest chaser of all time (Kohli)
+ Fastest ODI century in 31 balls (ABD)
+ He was 185* after just 26 overs in an ODI (Watson)
= Still not enough runs for RCB most of the time!

Delighting you always…
Royal Challengers Batting a delight for fans.
Royal Challengers Bowling a delight for oppositions.
‪#‎RCB‬

Royal Challengers Batting.
‪#‎RCB‬
(No bowling)
‪#‎IPL2016‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#AgustaWestlandScam musings…

Good ole days.
It feels as if the Congress is still in power at the Centre and doing scams upon scams.
‪#‎AgustaWestland‬

Congratulations!
The Congress now has more “major scams” than MPs in the Lok Sabha.
(Minor scams probably more than its MLAs all across India!)

The Peter Principle is total nonsense.
Sonia rose at least 100 levels above her competency levels.

Congress also has an Odd-Even scheme.
On Odd days, it scams.
On Even days, it scams.

No coincidence that the most highlighted phrase of ‪#‎Choppergate‬ is Sonia’s “I am not afraid of anyone!”
People still scared.

#‎Dynasty‬
‪#‎FormerPM‬
‪#‎Congress‬
‪#‎Defence‬
‪#‎Media‬
‪#‎Middlemen‬
‪#‎Foreigners‬
‪#‎Bureaucrats‬
‪#‎AgustaWestland‬ is indeed the mother of all scams.

Clutching at straws…
2014…
We are at rock bottom. The only way is up.
2016…
We are at one level below rock bottom. The only way is up.
‪#‎Congress‬

Congress in power defends Congress scams.
Congress in opposition goes on offensive over Congress scams.
Media will always blast BJP.

Lalu may be convicted.
Sonia may be chargesheeted.
MMS may sign papers leading to scams.
But only allegations against Modi have to be outraged 24X7.

2015—Parliament disrupted over ____
2016—Parliament disrupted over ____
2017—Parliament disrupted over ____
Fill in the blanks with anything you want.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

April 2016 Status Updates

Top 3 films by Box Office in 2016 so far…
3rd: SRK film.
2nd: Akshay film.
1st: Chaddi pahan ke phool khila hai…

(April 24)

Domestically a superstar just needs half his film’s cost from domestic Box Office.
Rest will come from global BO, TV, music, promotional etc rights for a tidy profit.

(April 22)

Pakistan…
1947-58: Democracy.
1958-71: Dictatorship.
1971-78: Democracy.
1978-88: Dictatorship.
1988-99: Democracy.
1999-2008: Dictatorship.
2008-__: Democracy.
Coup inevitable before 2020?

(April 21)

Film reviews of Bollywood superstars…
Great/very good/good/average = 5 stars.
Below average/bad/pathetic = 4 stars.
All time disaster = 3 stars.

(April 20)

Raina means night.
That’s why he performs well in Day-Night matches and especially IPL.
That’s why he was a flop in Tests, which is played only in the day.

(April 10)

Kanhaiya must be commended for coming out with a huge “Bharat Mata Ki Jai” revolution all across India.

(April 8)

Pakistan in 2016 says peace process with India is now suspended.
Incorrect.
It suspended the peace process in 1947 itself immediately after being born.

J&K Dy CM to NIT students…
In order to check whether your security is adequate or not, I cannot come because my security is not adequate.

A movie on the political situation of Bihar would be called Jungle (Raj) Book and it would get an A certification.

(April 7)

Then…
They don’t need bread. Let them go eat cake!
Now…
They don’t need fan. Let them go have AC!
‪#‎RakhiSawant‬

(April 5)

Militarily, Pakistan was the most powerful Muslim nation in the world.
It severely weakened itself by attacking India non-stop for no valid reason.

(April 2)

The vicious American War Cycle…
Democrats create conditions for war.
Republicans go to war.

2012 US Prez polls: Candidate with most Twitter followers won.
2014 India PM polls: Candidate with most Twitter followers won.
2015 UK PM polls: Candidate with most Twitter followers won.
2016 US Prez polls: Trump has the most Twitter followers.

(April 1)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Indian Lords of Twitter…

twitter-117595_640Here’s looking at some Indian Twitter millionaires who have emerged as the most followed in their particular field…

Bollywood: Amitabh Bachchan.
@SrBachchan, 20.7 million followers.
Amitabh made his filmi debut in 1969 and became a superstar in the 1970s. The Grand Old Man has been around for ages, but he is no fossil. He was one of the first people to jump on the blogging bandwagon and did it quite regularly. He is a regular Tweeter too and has notched close to 50,000 Tweets till date.

Politics: Narendra Modi.
@narendramodi, 19.6 million followers.
So the Indian Twitterverse produces its first ever Prime Minister. That may be a bit of a hyperbole, but Twitter has a big role in Modi’s rise to the top spot of India. No Indian politician comes close. (Many years ago @ShashiTharoor was the leader though). But more than anything is how Modi has used Twitter to fire his ambitions. He has connected with the young in social networking and Modi’s army regularly ReTweet him and fight for him. There are also handles which translate his Tweets into various Indian languages.

Spirituality: Dalai Lama.
@DalaiLama, 12.7 million followers.
The Dalai Lama came to India in 1959 and since then has been a resident here calling himself a “son of the soil”. His Tweets are inspiring and spread a great deal of goodwill and harmony. Incidentally, he is following exactly zero people. He was India’s leader till 2014 but since then has fallen way behind.

Official account: PMO India.
@PMOIndia: 11 million followers.
There was hardly any traction to this account when Manmohan Singh was in charge. However it has zoomed ahead after Modi took over. It’s also always buzzing with activity a sort of government news feed and a lit of achievements. On Twitter Modi + PMO amounts to 30 million plus followers!

Cricket: Sachin Tendulkar.
@sachin_rt, 10.7 million followers.
When Sachin joined Twitter, the Indian Twitterverse went berserk. He picked up tens of thousands of followers in no time. He soon became the first Indian to notch up 1 million followers. However since then many Bollywood stars have left him way behind. That’s probably because of his lacklustre form towards the end of his career and subsequent retirement. Sachin is erratic in his Tweets, but still writes enough to keep his die-hard fans engaged. Virat Kohli is close on his heels with 10.5 million followers.

PIO: Aziz Ansari.
@azizansari10.5 million followers.
Indian Americans are doing very well and on Twitter at least, Aziz is the clear leader. He has his roots in Tamil Nadu and is stand-up comedian who has been part of many tours. He has acted in many TV shows with the most prominent being Parks and Recreation. Aziz visited India a few years back and joked that he could act in a Tamil action movie. Indians may not be familiar with him but may have heard his voice in Hollywood movies like Ice Age: Continental Drift (Squint) and Epic (Mub).

News handle: The Times of India.
@timesofindia: 6.9 million followers.
India’s oldest newspaper and the English daily with the most circulation manages to hold its ground on Twitter too. With close to a quarter of a million Tweets, it continues to pull its weight in the Indian Twitterverse.

Authors: Chetan Bhagat.
@chetan_bhagat, 6.9 million followers.
You’ve got to hand it to Bhagat: Whether you like his books or not, he definitely has built himself as a big brand. Twitter plays an integral part in that. Out of all the celebrities, Bhagat is probably the most active and interactive. He never shies from controversies and his Tweets always make news. Once when he blocked a few people many years back, #ChetanBlocks became a top trend. His open support for Modi got him many bouquets and brickbats. AAP followers also keep attacking him from time to time.

Industrialists: Ratan Tata.
@RNTata2000, 6.1 million followers.
Everybody Loves Ratan Tata! In real life too and also on Twitter. This despite the fact that he’s hardly active on this medium. For ages it used to be @TheVijayMallya who is much more active but has since fallen on bad times.

Comedians: Kapil Sharma.
@KapilSharmaK9: 5.2 million followers.
Comedy Nights With Kapil saw a meteoric rise and its hero became one in Bollywood movies too. Kapil is a superstar in his own right and was a late entrant on Twitter (he came in June 2013), but he’s on top here too.

Worldwide…

Indians are rising in in the Global Top 100 list and we currently have Amitabh, Modi, Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, Aamir Khan, Deepika Padukone, Priyanka Chopra and Hrithik Roshan. In mid-2014 from Bollywood there was only Amitabh, but with 7 more apart from him and more in the next 100, they are taking over Twitter! Priyanka has a great chance to go even further thanks to her exposure to the West.

While Ashton Kutcher narrowly went past CNN to become the first with 1 million followers, the landmarks of 10 million and 25 million were first breached by Lady Gaga.

The current leader is Katy Perry, the first to get 50 million followers, narrowly edging out Justin Bieber in the race for that landmark. She’s close to 88 million and must be eyeing the 100 million mark.

As far as the next Indian landmark is concerned, it remains to be seen who reaches 25 million followers first.

In terms of ReTweets, Ellen DeGeneresOscar selfie not only became the first to get 1 million ReTweets, but also crossed 3 million later on!

Modi’s victory Tweet got 80,000+ RTs.

© Sunil Rajguru

(This post first came on May 26, 2014. This is the updated version with a lot of changes.)

Some political musings…

Kanhaiya is Trainee Kejri.
Kejri is Trainee Lalu.
Lalu. Lalu Jr. Lalu Jr Jr. Pasand ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ ki!

It takes roughly ten thousand hours of practice to achieve mastery in any field.
—Malcolm Gladwell.
FYI, I’ve been an MP for more than one lakh hours now!
—Pappu.

Gandhi

They ask: When will we have a woman on Indian currency note.
I ask: When will we have any man other than the Mahatma?
Right now he’s on Rs 10 right through Rs 1000!

Isn’t it Odd that AAP ads concerning only Delhi are appearing Evenly all across every State in India?
AAP = Aam Aadmi Pays for these ads.

Congress sinking.
Bihar, WB, UP, Delhi in a mess.
Their verdict: Modi will lose 2019.

Whatever anti-Congress revelations are coming out post-2014, everyone knew anyway.
Therein lies the real tragedy.
‪#‎UPADebacle‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

RCB musings…

Photo0635

The “Challengers” in RCB is a problem.
For 8 seasons they’ve only been “challenging”, nothing else.
Make it Royal Champions Bengaluru.

When RCB bat second…
We can chase even 225 with 8 wickets to spare.
When RCB bat first…
Nothing less than 200 will do.
‪#‎IPL2016‬

RCB make…
160: Will lose.
180: Close match.
200: Might win.
220: If they bowl well, they’ll win.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru