The UPA wants the 1984 reality in 2012…

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In Steven Spielberg’s movie Minority Report, the pre-crime division arrested people before they committed the crime!
The UPA is working on a similar technology by which all anti-Congress status messages, comments and photographs will be blocked even before they can be put up.
After Spielberg, the UPA is looking to better George Orwell’s Thought Police.
Nineteen Eighty-Four has come and gone, but beware of Two Thousand-Twelve!

The Cybernukkad…
What if a Government official announced at every nukkad in India that speaking against the government was banned?
What would happen?
There would be a revolution all across India!
So then, why are you trying to do the same at all Cyberspace nukkads?

© Sunil Rajguru

Understanding the current UPA strategy…

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Once a consultant visited Congress headquarters.

A worker banged his head against the wall and kept shouting that he couldn’t get his mind off the pain.

The consultant stomped the worker’s foot.

As the worker hopped in pain, he yelled at the consultant, “What did you do that for?”

The consultant said, “How’s your head pain?”

The worker said, “I can’t feel it!”

The consultant said, “The body can handle only one pain centre at a time!”

One leader found this quite amusing and wondered if the same experiment could be applied to the nation.

Nation reeling from scams.

Bam! Arrest Anna Hazare.

Nation reeling from high-profile arrests.

Bam! Rahul Gandhi talks utter nonsense!

Nation still reeling from scams.

Bam! FDI in retail.

Nation reeling from inflation, petrol price hikes.

Bam! Censor cyberspace!

Next Bam! Is what?

© Sunil Rajguru

Some Kapil Sibal censorship musings…

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∙ Diggy Raja to Sibal: Jitni shaurat mujhe politics main chaalis saal main nahin mili, us-se jyaada tumhe cyberspace main ek chaalis minute ke press conference ke baad mili!

∙ Kapil, what you are trying to do on the Internet is imposibal!

∙ Khoob jamega rang, jab mil baithenge teen dost…Sibal, Diggy aur Stupidity…

∙ Sone… <Kapil Sibal joins Facebook>
…pe suhaaga… < Facebook introduces Hate button>

∙ Ab har Mummy apne bete se kahegi…
Log off kar de beta, warna Kapil Sibal aa jaayega!

∙ Saare netizens Darr rahe kyunki Cyber Dada aa raha hai… we are afraid of you K K K K K Kapil!

∙ Google India is thinking that if it can get a cent for every sentence against Sibal on Google, it could substantially increase its revenues.

© Sunil Rajguru

How to douse the fire a la Sibal…

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Sibal: Cyberspace main aag lagi hai!
(Bhai sahab ne ek baalti uthai aur uske andar ka samagri ko aag main daal diya…)
Advisor: Sahab, woh baalti main paani nahin tel tha!
Sibal: Oops! I did it again!
Arthath: UPA ka fire-fighting phir tel lene gaya!

Advisor on December 5: Sir, there are about 7.2 million status messages, Tweets and pictures against the Congress!
Advisor on December 7: Sir, there are about 2.4 million status messages, Tweets and pictures against the Congress!
Sibal: So my press conference was a grand success!
Advisor: Errr…. Now there are 934.3 million status messages, Tweets and pictures against you sir!

© Sunil Rajguru

How to catch the Internet with a Net…

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The Government of India has just issued an Order…

Book Facebook!
Catch the Twitter Twits!
Log the Blogs for libel!
Take the yahoo out of Yahoo!
Shoot the MSN messenger!
In short…
Fence Cyberspace!
Catch the Internet with a Net!

Overheard…

An IT Minister: All I’m asking is for half-a-dozen companies to sift through a few billion status updates, pictures and links every day and remove the millions of pieces of content that are offensive to us. How unreasonable is that? These websites, I tell you…

A Congress Worker: That’s against us… that’s against us… that’s against us… (after a few thousand “That’s against us-es”)… hey! that’s against a particular community! Now we have finally got our peg!

© Sunil Rajguru