· Pappu to Congressmen: Behave yourselves! We are the most arrogant party in India!
Result: #AditiRestaurant
· Pappu lives in a magical world and still thinks that India is beautiful…
His theme song…
Udhar tum haseen ho, idhar dil jawaan hai…
· Nirman=Under construction.
The actual slogan is…
Ho Raha Hai Pappu Nirman!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
· In the world just about anyone can become a politician.
In India, just about anyone has.
· If corruption is eating money.
If India is a restaurant.
Then the citizens of the country are looking at unpaid bills in the region of maybe hundreds of lakh crore Rupees since 1947.
#AditiRestaurant
· Right now Kapil Sibal is reading and re-reading George Orwell’s 1984 and wondering how it can be implemented in India before 2014.
· Pappu + Decent language + Mahatma Gandhi =
Diggy + Tewari + Mani + Jha + Khurshid + Tehseen + Nirupam + Sibal + Renuka + Narayanaswamy + Singhvi.
(Equation balanced)
· The Diggy Raja logic…
For everything wrong with India, A: RSS formed in 1925.
For everything right, A: Congress gave India Independence in 1947.
· MMS has given 1300 “formalities” not “speeches”.
Nation is still waiting for one single straight from the heart sincere speech from him.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Just replace pyaar by PR and you get a host of great PR movies…
For those who love the industry…
Maine PR kiya… PR Karne Wale Kabhi Kam Na Honge… Jeena Hai PR Main… Hum Hai Rahi PR Ke… Har Dil Jo PR Karega… PR Zindagi Hai… PR ka Mausam… PR Kiye Jaa… PR Ki Kahani… Jahan PR Mile… Jab PR Kisi Se Hota Hai… PR Ke Kaabil… Kaho Na PR Hai… Aao PR Kare… Ye Raaste PR Ke… Rishta Hai PR Ka.
The haters…
Maine PR Kyun Kiya?… Kya Yahi PR Hai?… Kabhi PR Nahin Karna!… Lut Gaye PR Main… Paisa Nasha PR… PR Ke Naam Kurbaan… PR Hua Chori Chori… Hote Hote PR Ho Gaya… Pani Jaisa PR… PR Ki Pungi… PR Ka Rog… PR Impossible!… Ye Stupid PR… Inteha PR Ki… PR Ka Saudagar… PR Ki Saza… PR Ke Naam Qatl-E-Aam… PR Ka Karz.
When it triumphs in the end…
PR Jhukta Nahin… Ye PR Na Hoga Kam… PR To Hona Hi Tha… PR Ki Jeet… PR ka Devta.
When there’s too much of it…
PR hi PR… PR hi PR Main… Dekha PR Tumhara… Silsila Hai PR Ka… Kyun Tumse Itna PR Hai?… PR Ka Mandir… PR Do PR Lo.
Out of the box…
Anokha PR… Kuch PR Kuch Pagalpan… Kaisa Ye PR Hai!… PR Deewana Hota Hai.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Funny sounding Modi half-phrase <Greater than> Practically every other major lead story.
Allegations against Modi <Greater than> All Congress scams put together.
Anything related to 2002 Godhra <Equals to> Breaking news.
1 Ishrat encounter <Greater than> 1000 encounters of last 10 years.
I conditionally/partially support/appreciate Modi/His speeches/Gujarat development <Equals to> I am communal.
Modi is Hitler <Equals to> I am secular.
Blow to Modi <Equals to> Universal cut and paste for any story related to him.
Bonus:
Any Diggy Raja phrase <Equals to> 100% credibility.
© Sunil Rajguru
Questionnaire: Fill in the blanks.
Topic: Congress.
Q1: It is secular because __________ (Maximum communal riots have taken place under its rule)
Q2: It is tough on terror because __________ (It blames the Opposition for terror instead of enemies and terror groups)
Q3: It has a great foreign policy because __________ (It doesn’t stand up to Pakistan, China or Pakistan or anyone else for that matter)
Q4: It is democratic because __________ (It is a very strong believer of dynasty and is the only party to have imposed Emergency. Plus all party presidents behave like dictators)
Q5: It strongly believes in merit because __________ (It is a very strong believer of all dynasties)
Q6: It strongly believes in India’s federal structure because __________ (Believes strongly in Article 356, uses the CBI to settle scores, Ref: Mulayam)
Q7: It strongly believes in all of India’s institutions because __________ (Its PM refused to accept an HC verdict, it diluted the office of the CEC, it rubbished the CAG…)
© Sunil Rajguru
· India’s terror equation…
Left-inspired Naxalism
+ Indira Gandhi backed Bhindranwale
+ Khurshid lawyer for SIMI
+ Laloo parades Osama look-alike for polls
= BJP supports terrorism.
· Congress: We are fixing our biggest problems!
Q: Corruption? Terrorism? Inflation? Economy?
Congress: No! No! Modi. BJP. RSS. Baaki sab bhaad main jaaye!
· Manmohan: Are these Chinese excursions serious?
Official: No sir, it’s just a case of “Aaya cheen gaya cheen”.
· Official: Chinese excursions!
MMS: Stop playing cricket with them!
Official: But we don’t play with them!
MMS: Wow! So action already taken!
· Reality…
2009: Congress probably led BJP 20-0.
Since then the BJP has done nothing and Congress has been busy scoring own-goals.
That’s why the BJP is “close” now.
· Manmohan Singh is still in mute mode.
All he has done is thrown incomprehensible numbers at us.
The words are still invisible.
· Peter Principle…
Every one rises to his level of incompetence and stays there.
#ManmohanSingh #PrimeMinister #NineYears
· What MMS really said on economy…
Basic fundamentals are sound (the alarm bugle!) and stable (for scams).
· Somewhere down the line Manmohan has forgotten even the spellings of both Economy and Politics.
This version by Sunil Rajguru