Another round of Congressi musings…

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1942: Congress launched Quit India movement against British.
2014: If Congress gets re-elected, many citizens may want to Quit India.

If Sonia Gandhi is the entire country’s mother, then it’s time every citizen got his or her share of the inheritance.

If and when Pappu becomes Prime Minister, some will call it an Obama moment.
But it will actually be a Kim Jong-un moment.

If the most powerful person in India is “unhappy” and “disappointed” all the time, then I guess the average Indian can only be severely depressed.

Congress leadership: We are ready to sit in the Opposition.
Andhra Pradesh MPs: We are already there!

Nightmare…
2014: Congress decimated, but a Third Front joker becomes PM.
2016: Snap polls. Anti-Third Front wave helps Congress, Pappu becomes PM.
Protests begin yet again.

Looks like…
1. Pappu has failed as General-Secretary.
Make him Vice President!
2. Pappu has failed as Vice President!
Make him Prime Minister!

2004-14…
Manmohan Singh is the messenger.
Sonia Gandhi is the message.
2014…
The voters finally have a message of their own.

Old Sonia = Old Congress.
New Pappu = Old Congress.
No dynasty = New Congress.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Famous proverbs in the Indian context…

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Speech is silver, but silence is gold.
#ManmohanSingh

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
#TarunTejpal

It’s better for a lion to head a lambs’ army than to have a lamb head a lions’ army.
#Pappu

Offence is the best form of defence.
#NaMo

I’m OK. You’re OK.
#MMS #TheekHai

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.
#BanOpinionPolls

Familiarity breeds contempt.
#TenYearsOfUPA

Too many cooks spoil the broth.
#CongressSpokespersons

Beggars can’t be choosers.
#IndianVoters

Two wrongs don’t make a right.
#1984and2002

Birds of a feather flock together.
#Criminals #Politicians

Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but names will never hurt me.
#NaMo

A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.
#Pappu

If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
#ArvindKejriwal

Musings on Pappu The Great…

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Nehru: Major leaders left him.
Indira: Split the party.
Rajiv: Halved Congress LS mandate.
Sonia: Could never become PM.
Pappu: All of the above?

Q: What is the escape velocity to rid India of the Congress?
A: Pappu!

Sad truth…
Modi: Mere paas 2014 hai, tere paas kya hai?
Pappu: Mere paas 2019, 2024, 2029, 2034… hai!

Pappu wants to learn from AAP.
Pappu + AAP = Paap.
Paapi pet ka sawaal hai!

Every time Pappu opens his mouth, Congress loses tens of thousands of votes.
2013 to sirf jhaaki hai, 2014 abhi baaki hai.

The Nehru-Gandhi dynasty desperately needs employment post-2014.
Pappu pet ka sawaal hai.

Pappu, please give extensive speeches in West Bengal, Kerala and Tamil Nadu.
Thanks to that, the BJP just might open its account in those states.

Pappu’s leadership is nonsense and should be torn up and thrown away.

At this rate just before the Lok Sabha elections, Pappu will call the Congress manifesto nonsense and say it should be torn and thrown away.

Post 2014, Pappu will act in a movie called Ek Tha Dynasty.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Congress The Great…

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The Congress philosophy…
Give a man a fish and gain his vote for an election.
Teach a man to fish and lose a recurring vote forever.

CONGRESS =
Corrupt
Opportunistic
Nepotistic
Gasbags
Registering
Endless
Supersized
Scams.

Post 1947: Angrez gaye.
Post 2014: Congrez jaayenge.

Sonia=TINA Factor.
(There Is No Alternative)
Pappu=also TINA Factor.
(This Is No Alternative!!!)

2004-14…
Manmohan Singh is the messenger.
Sonia Gandhi is the message.
2014…
The voters finally have a message of their own.

What if Manmohan is still thinking now…
Shivraj, Modi, Sheila, Naveen, Sarkar… sabne hat-trick maara.
Ab mera number 2014 main aayega!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Modi wave is here…

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Na billi hai na parcha hai,
Bas Modi ka hi charcha hai,
Jo na samjhe ye aaj bhi ye,
Woh to waakahi baccha hai.

Sheila: Agar Pappu fail na hota to main CM banti.
Harsh Vardhan: Agar Kejriwal na hota to main CM banta.
Kejriwal: Agar Modi wave na hota to main CM banta.

2012: Is Advani an alternative to Modi?
2013: Is Pappu an alternative to Modi?
2014: Is AAP an alternative to Modi?
Deny karte karte Modi ka ek term poora bhi ho jaayega.

Kejriwal wave in Delhi.
Modi wave all over India.
Pappu waves Congress chances goodbye.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How every Congress leader changes a fused light bulb in the house…

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How does Pappu change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He just declares light a state of mind.

How does Sonia change a light bulb in her house?
She just expresses her unhappiness over darkness and a 100 people come to change the bulb.

How does Manmohan change the light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. The servants just see a dark silent room and think nothing is wrong.

How does Antony change a light bulb in his house?
It’s tricky. When the electrician comes, he suspects it’s an intruder in electrician’s uniform.

How does Khurshid change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He challenges darkness: Aaye to ho mere ghar main, magar waapis kaise jaoge?

How does Sushilkumar Shinde change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He thinks it’s just another mega power blackout.

How does Sibal change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He just declares Zero Loss of light.

How does Diggy Raja change a light bulb in his house?
He doesn’t. He sits and blames the RSS non-stop sitting in the darkness.

How does Manish Tiwari change a light bulb in his house?
He does it holistically.

How does Tharoor change a light bulb in his house?
He first Tweets about it and has a detailed discussion on Twitter.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru