Category Archives: Miscellaneous

Latest round of political musings…

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Not only is Gujarat a BJP-ruled State, but all its neighbours (Rajasthan, Madhya Pradesh and Maharashtra) are BJP-ruled States too.

At this rate Pappu will suggest that King Bharat’s surname was actually Nehru.

What destruction in West Bengal CPM couldn’t do in 34 years, the Trinamool has done in 34 months.

Democracy, Dynasty style…
Nehru: 1st Amendment curtailing free speech.
Indira: Emergency.
Rajiv: Anti-defamation Bill (aborted).
Sonia: Section 66A.

The Saga of SoGa has ended and the Rage of RaGa has begun.
Backup: PriVa aur uska PriVaTe Citizen hai na!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on War and Peace…

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nobel-prize-1356450_640One day Twitter will get the Nobel Peace Prize for diverting so much offline hate to the online world.

The Year of the Goat always gets Iraq’s goat….
1967: Disastrous war with Israel.
1979: Saddam Hussein takes charge.
1991: Thrashed in Gulf War.
2003: Invasion of Iraq.
2015: Major war against ISIS?

What is the link between one random Pakistani living in UK getting the Nobel Peace Prize and a Pakistani Army Chief deciding to shell the Indo-Pak border?

War is war and peace prize is peace prize.
Never the twain shall meet.

Was it save the child or save Indo-Pak peace?
#2014NobelPeacePrize

Convoluted logic—Why Pakistanis hate Malala…
Taliban was created by Pakistani Army which is worshipped by Pakistanis.
Malala’s the biggest anti-Taliban symbol and hence anti-Army too.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The media scene—Then and now…

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news-426892_640NEWS…
Then: North East West South.
Now: Never-Ending Wanton Sensationalism.

Breaking news…
Then: Reserved only for big stories.
Now: Each and every story, big or small, will first appear as breaking news.

Analysis…
Then: In newspapers, think a lot, write later.
Now: In TVs, scream first, think later.

Greetings…
Then: To colleague, “Aap kaise ho?”
Now: To everyone, “Aap ko kaisa lag raha hai?”

Congress sources…
Then: Gave part of the story. Checked and rechecked.
Now: Give the full story. Taken verbatim.

BJP sources…
Then: They ran after you.
Now: You run after them.

Famous journalists…
Then: Got the top stories in town.
Now: Are the top stories.
(#Tejpal #Rajdeep etc)

Journalism…
Then: Service to the nation.
Now: Service to self, political party, business house… anything but the nation.

Expert…
Then: Master of one trade.
Now: Barely a Jack, but of all trades.

Bias…
Then: Sometimes visible, sometimes not.
Now: Extra-large and extreme.

Editors…
Then: Editors.
Now: Managers.

Conflict of interest…
Then: Taken seriously.
Now: No conflict. Only (personal) interest.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Scotland went on a referendum…

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bagpipes-215549_640How does it feel to be the First Minister of Scotland?
Alex Salmond: Sigh! I was hoping it would be: The First Prime Minister of Scotland!

David Cameron walked into a bar and said…
One Scotch (Independence) on the rocks please.

13th Century Scotland: Freedom!!!
England: No!!!
21st Century England: Freedom???
Scotland: No!!!

America 2008: Yes we can.
Scotland 2014: No we can’t.

So is Alex Salmond the Last Rebel of Scotland?

When you break free, it is a Declaration of Independence.
So is the Scottish referendum a Declaration of Dependence?

Most referendums are…
Will you marry me?
The Scotland referendum was…
Will you not divorce me?

Despite the Scotland No vote, the United Kingdom is still not very United and nor is it really a Kingdom.

Rural India saved the Nehru-Gandhi monarchy many a times.
Rural Scotland saves the English monarchy.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The selfie dictionary…

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DSC_0098

Words that exist or should exist thanks to the selfie…

Selfie: A picture taken by oneself of oneself.

Gelfie: Group selfie.

Delfie: Dying as a result of a selfie or dying immediately after taking a selfie.

Adelfie: Addiction to selfies.

Infinitelfie: Taking a selfie in front of the mirror to get the infinite reflection effect.

Celfie: Selfie from your (prison) cell.

Celfie: Celebrity selfie.

Pelfie: Political selfie, Obama’s being the most famous.

Belfie: Taking a selfie of one’s butt.

Relfie: Relationship selfie.

Welfie: Selfie boasting of your wealth.

Telfie: Tummy selfie.

Prelfie: A selfie profile picture.

Twelfie: A selfie on Twitter.

Melfie: Male selfie.

Felfie: Female selfie.

Felfie: Farming (agricultural) selfies.

Chelfie: A child taking a selfie.

Helfie: A selfie focusing on hair.

Jelfie: Joint selfie.

Lelfie: A selfie of the legs.

Nelfie: A selfie of the neck.

Shelfie: A selfie in front of your bookshelf.

Welfie: Selfie of your workout.

Stelfie: Taking a selfie by using a selfie stick.

Mobselfie: Using a mobile.

Camselfie: Using a camera.

Selfie-virgin: Someone who has never taken a selfie.

These versions/compilation by Sunil Rajguru

Real, not faking news…

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Dead AAP activist becomes alive.

Don to be Interpol ambassador. (SRK)

Alia Bhatt uses her stupidity to do something really smart.

Millions of people (including celebrities) world over start pouring cold water on themselves.

US, Israel, Iran, Syria, Iraq, Saudi Arabia… think of getting together. (To counter ISIS)

Advani finally retired.

India beat England by 133 runs in England.

Suresh Raina hits blistering century outside the sub-continent.

Putin accused of shooting down neutral civilian passenger plane.

Imran Khan attempts civilian coup against Nawaz Sharif.

On many days, Kejriwal gets zero news coverage.

Germany beats Brazil 8-1 in Brazil in a World Cup.

NDTV indirectly supports Israel. (Hamas story)

Israel attacks Gaza, Arab world least bothered.

Australia post 300 in ODIs, still lose, third time in a year.

Sheila Dixit toppled both as Chief Minister and Governor within a year.

Would have been considered faking news before elections…

BJP gets 282 Lok Sabha seats.

Amit Shah to become BJP President.

© Sunil Rajguru