Category Archives: Short Takes

IPL Srinivasan spot-fixing musings…

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· Sir, what about Conflict of Interest?
N Srinivasan: There is no Conflict in my mind and I am not Interested in your question.
(P.S. My place is Cemented in Indian cricket)

· Srinivasan to Dalmiya: Don’t worry, I have Fixed your Spot!
Sreesanth: Maine kya paap kiya re?

· The cricket chiefs stood with stones in their hands and Srinivasan said, “Let the one among you who is without sin cast the first stone.”

· “Srini, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
Jagmohan Dalmiya, 2001.
(Kaisa-blank-kiya fans ke hopes ko)

· Even if he renamed the two entities to Board of Control for Cement in India and India Cricket, it would make no difference.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

May 2013 Status Updates

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·India is the only country in the world where even a Female Mannequin is not safe from moral policing.

·Extremely embarrassing: My son searched “Sunil Rajguru” using Google Voice Search and Google decided to throw up “Sunny Leone”.

(May 28)

· I wonder if there’s such a thing as Pre-Paid News and Post-Paid News depending on whether the money is given before or after.

(May 17)

· BSY Trinity
1. “Creator” of 1st saffron Govt in South.
2. “Preserver” of his own gaddi for ages.
3. Finally “Destroyer” of Karnataka BJP.

(May 9)

© Sunil Rajguru

IPL spot-fixing musings…

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· If Indian cricket glorifies itself, sports channels TRPs are up.
If Indian cricket disgraces itself, news channels TRPs are up.
Either way the TRPs are up!

· Yesterday’s batsman: By God, I hope this is a loose ball.
Today’s batsman: By bookie, I hope this is a fixed ball!

· Chandila to Sree: I can match your spot-fixing.
Delhi Police: I can spot your match-fixing.
BCCI: You still can’t match my being spotless.

· Indians believe strongly in fate, meaning life itself is fixed.
What is match-fixing in front of life-fixing?

· Some 25 cricketers have been banned for fixing, (half of them Indians).
So now let’s have an India XI versus World XI match, with the losing team being declared the victor.

· In 2008, Bhajji slapped Sree.
In 2009, he got Padma Shri.
Action and reward long before spot-fixing-gate?

© Sunil Rajguru

Congress corruption musings…

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· The Cabinet has just converted the Constitution’s “Collective Responsibility” principle into a “Collective Irresponsibility” one.

· All Nostradamus prophecies have to be edited…
Prophecy: Man with blue turban will rule the world.
Edited version: Man with blue turban will rule the corruption world.

· Fact 1: If all corrupt Ministers quit, Cabinet would be empty.
Fact 2: It wouldn’t make a difference, next lot would loot more to catch up.

· There is a threshold amount beyond which scamsters cannot be caught.
All Congressmen are above the limit and all others are below it.

· People share a love-hate relationship with the Congress.
Hate their corruption and arrogance, but still love to vote for them.

· Right now the relatively few clean central ministries are being pulled up for not meeting their Corruption KRAs.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

April 2013 Status Updates

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· A tale of 3 cities…
Fact: Rape Capital.
Hope: Protest Capital.
Politicians: Indifference Capital.

· Two great Gujaratis dominate every century.
The 20th century had Gandhi and Patel.
The 21st century has Modi and Sir Jadeja.

(April 20)

· Anyone remember a certain Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee?
He seems like a Genius compared to the current CM.

· Real battles…
Popularity: Modi vs Sonia.
On Twitter: Modi vs Tharoor.
Most intense: Modi vs MSM.
Non-Cong: Modi Vs Nitish.
Internal: Modi vs BJP/RSS.
Oration: Modi vs Sushma/Jaitley.
Pappu doesn’t even feature saala!

(April 11)

· 1. Yama is a God.
2. He is Dharmaraj.
3. Nobody can stop him.
4. He is wise.
5. His son (Yudhistir) ruled India.
Q: Why is the Cong praising Modi?

(April 5)

· 2004: Vajpayee is out LBW, stunned by decision!
Enter UPA1.
2009: Advani clean bowled!
Enter UPA2.
2014: Modi takes guard for hat-trick ball.
Can they make it UPA3? Or will we have NDA2?

· Derek has no answers to the Didi question and even if he has, then well, the quizmaster’s decision is not final and is constantly challenged.

· Bollywood changes…
Yesterday: “Inspired” originals.
Today: Remakes, sequels and remixes.

(April 4)

© Sunil Rajguru

Rahul vs Modi…

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· Gujarat progress…
Modi backers: Glass is 4/5ths full.
Modi haters: Glass is 1/5th empty! Glass is 1/5th empty!! Glass is 1/5th empty!!!…..

· India doesn’t make sense.
Rahul Gandhi doesn’t make sense.
Analysis: Rahul is perfect to lead India.

· Like the term Sathiya gaya, we need the term Chaalisa gaya for Rahul baba.

· Like antimony, even antimodi should be a word in the dictionary.

· Secularism of Nitish & Co…
In 1992 Advani was anti-secular.
In 2013 he is pro-secular.
Why?
Because he is now anti-Modi!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru