Scamster ho ya match-fixer ho…
Aakhir chhoot jaata hai, chhoot jata hai…
Reporter: Srini?
Mudgal: Sriknew.
#IPL #MudgalReport
Selector: Did you check out Powerplay 1, Powerplay 2 and Powerplay 3?
Official: No, I was checking out Individual 1, Individual 2 and Individual 3.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
If Nehru’s birthday is celebrated as Children’s Day, then Pappu’s birthday should be celebrated as Babies’ Day.
Jawaharlal Nehru’s legacy…
Dynasty.
Communism.
Confused foreign policy.
Kashmir dispute.
Chinese humiliation.
Economic policy that crashed in 1991.
Delhi durbar.
First Amendment that curtailed free speech.
Pappu is like Kumbhakaran.
Sleeps for months, gets up and rages like hell, sleeps for months again, gets up…
Meanwhile all Congress chances have gone permanently to sleep.
The Congress is just short of coining the slogan…
Mera Nehru Mahaan.
(All senior leaders as it is swear by…
Mera Dynasty Mahaan.)
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Such a long journey…
From Rohit to Nohit to Superhit Sharma.
Fact of the day…
India crossed 260 in an ODI match only once from 1974-1981 (17 years).
Rohit Sharma matched that feat in 3.5 hours.
1998, Chennai.
Saeed Anwar on 194 in just the 47th over, one hit away from becoming first to hit ODI double hundred.
Sachin gets his wicket and finishes the job 12 years later.
And then the Indians just can’t get enough of them!
If Maggi wanted to hire Rohit Sharma as its brand ambassador, then they would be forced to launch 200-minute noodles.
Finishers all…
Dhoni: I can stay till the end.
Raina: I can also stay till the end.
Kohli: Me too.
Rohit: Me too.
ODI innings separated by nearly 40 years.
7 June, 1975, Sunil Gavaskar: 36* (174).
13 November, 2014, Rohit Sharma: 264 (173).
Said Shakespeare in Macbeth…
Double, double toil and trouble!
Lankan player: Really? I thought that was Rohit taunting us at Eden Gardens.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Shiv Sena supported Pratibha Patil.
Why?
She is Marathi, not Congressi.
Sena doesn’t support Suresh Prabhu.
Why?
He is BJP, not Marathi?
Maharashtra…
Who is ruling the State?
—BJP.
Principal Opposition?
—Shiv Sena.
How did all this happen?
—NCP.
And Congress?
—Who are they???
It’s called the Sena (army) and hence has to keep fighting someone.
With the Congress decimated in Maharashtra, the Shiv Sena will now take on the BJP.
Shiv Sena…
Say yes na!
Say na!
Say na!
BJP: seNa.
Narrowing gap…
News: 5 Congress MLAs suspended in Maharashtra.
Effect: Majority vote in Assembly down from 145 to 142.
BJP: Aur halla karo! Bring it on!
September 26: BJP breaks ties with Sena.
Media…
September 27: Is Sena breaking ties with BJP?
October: Will Sena snap ties with BJP?
November: Is the Sena relationship with BJP over?
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
The Kejriwal Trilogy…
2013: Fellowship of the AAP.
2014: The Twin Towers of Appointment and Resignation.
2015: Return of the Nautanki King.
AAP…
Plan A: Pappu for PM, Kejri for CM.
Plan B: Kejri not CM, Kejri for PM.
Plan C: Modi for PM, Kejri for CM.
Finally…
Kejri for FM(L).
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Pappu: I am tearing up this ordinance.
Singhvi: The ordinance was eaten by termites.
BJP slogan…
Centre main Narendra,
State main Devendra.
Pseudo-secular alliance slogan…
Centre main Damaad,
State main Damaad.
#Vadra #Manjhi #AreYouSerious
We are entering an age of Pappu politics when it comes to a political dynasty…
#Rahul #Akhilesh #YSR #Omar #Uddhav #Raj #Ajit #Rane #Karti #Azhagiri #Khurshid
Modi: Where are you going?
Jaitley: To launch the book written by someone who claims he’s not anti-Modi and with you prominently on the cover.
Modi: OK.
Jaitley: Phew!
Q: What’s the one thing that unites diverse leaders like Nehru, Sonia, Srinivasan and Manjhi?
A: Damaad woes.
#AreYouSerious?
Lone: Can we have a tie-up with the BJP?
Modi: Sure. Stand in the queue behind PDP and NC. Counter opens after results are declared.
#2015Polls
The irony…
Bharadwaj: PC totally responsible for 2G.
Collective Responsibility of Constitution: PM is responsible for Minister’s scams.
P.S. MMS reported to Madam.
The Congress and the Third and Fourth Fronts should actually get together and launch the Second Front to give a serious challenge to the BJP.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru