America’s biggest progressive enemy…
1941: The world’s greatest dictator and his evil empire.
1951: The entire communist world and its ideology.
1981: The world’s other superpower, USSR.
2001: A sole terrorist and his rag-tag group.
2011: A hacker and his website.
© Sunil Rajguru
• He was traveling at the speed of Sehwag!
• He’s been around for as long as Tendulkar.
• May you be as lucky as Dhoni.
• Aapki jodi Sehwag aur Gambhir ki tarah salaamat rahe.
• You wouldn’t want the misfortunes of the Pak cricket team on you!
• May you be as fit as Kapil.
• Be careful, or it will all come crashing down like Modi in IPL.
• Don’t worry, you’ll come back just like Nehra.
• As unpredictable as the Indian fast bowling line-up.
• They’re falling just like the Aussies.
This version by Sunil Rajguru
Latest sayings…
• You are the onion of my eye.
• You are worth your weight in onions.
• Show me the onions!
Caution!
• An onion a day gets the taxman to visit your doorstep.
Most popular non-vegetarian dishes…
• Chicken no Pyaaza
• Pyaaza raha gaya mutton
New election slogan…
• Hum aapko denge Roti, Kapda, Makan, Bandwidth aur Pyaaz!
Hit songs…
• Pyaaz, pyaaz na raha, lahsun, lahsun na raha, zindagi hame tera aitbaar na raha
• Goro ki na kaalo ki, ye duniya hai onionwalo ki
Onionology:
• The study of Onion Economics, Onion Politics, Onion Cycles and Onion Trade.
The Indian Institute of Onions will also roll out Onion Management courses.
The first Onion Billionaires are expected soon.
Hindi usage…
• Mujhe pyaas lagi hai! (A quenchable thirst)
Mujhe pyaaz lagi hai! (An unquenchable thirst)
Latest role models…
• Jains.
They have been doing away with onions and garlic for millennia!
Proposal…
• After the Stock Exchange and Metal Exchange, the government is considering a Vegetables Exchange for rare and precious vegetables.
Love boasts…
• Jitne tumhe aasman main tare nazar aa rahe hain, utne main tumhe pyaaz laake doonga agar tum mujhse shaadi karogi!
• My love for you is as deep as there are layers in an onion.
This version by Sunil Rajguru
• You are only as good as your last status message.
• I feel so naked… like everything in my life has been put up on Facebook.
• My life is in a state of flux… just like the Facebook interface.
• Yesterday: I have hundreds of friends!
Fibber!
Today: I have hundreds of friends!
FBer!
• Hasn’t the world suddenly become a “Friend”lier place?
© Sunil Rajguru
• One day when I dressed up really smartly, he said, “Wow! You’re looking as cool as an idiot!”
When I glared at him, he said, “What? Haven’t you seen 3 Idiots?”
• When I made him walk quite a distance once, he said, “God! I’m sure you made me walk at least a million millimeters today!”
• They say you need a good memory if you are a liar.
That applies to being a father too.
I often hear, “But last time you gave a different answer to the same question!”
• While watching the movie Kaminey on TV, after a couple of songs he said, “If one has a lisp and the other stutters, then how come they sing so well? This movie is illogical.”
And he stopped watching.
• When the cool Batmobile emerged in Batman Begins, all he could ask was, “Does he have a license for that thing?”
• He hates brushing his teeth.
One day he complained, “If all the children brush their teeth regularly, then what will all the poor dentists of the world do?”
• He has advice for my writing.
If ever you write a tragedy, then you should add at the end: “And they lived sadly ever after…”
• My wife got him a watch from New York.
He kept fiddling with it but couldn’t change the time to Indian time.
He tossed it aside and said, “Forget it, the watch is jetlagged.”
© Sunil Rajguru
India gets its own brand of superheroes…
• Is it a lobbyist? Is it a spy? No it’s PR Woman!
• Hounded by the media, reviled by his opponents and painted as a vicious Dark Knight by sundry NGOs… yet Gandhinagar City turns to only one man for its development and progress… Modiman!
• Raja-man, Raja-man,
Does whatever a scamster can.
Spins a telecom web, any size,
Catches politicians, journalists and industrialists just like flies!
Look out!
Here comes the Raja-man!
• Some time back, the first Prime Minister of India took a Phantom-like “Oath of the PMO”…
“I swear to devote my life to the destruction of the enemies of the Congress… and my sons and daughters and their sons and daughters shall follow me!”
This Version by Sunil Rajguru