Category Archives: Short Takes

New Year 2017 musings…

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new-years-eve-1941665_640Mitron,
Wish you a Cashless New Year.
Wish you a White (money) New Year.

Trump—Wish you a White Christmas.
Modi—Wish you a White New Year.
#BlackMoney

Does the collective optimism of a few billion people on the eve of December 31 actually help kick-start a new year better?

Does Father Time suddenly look at the date and find it’s December 31 and say…
Oh God! A year has ended! Let me change the luck/fortune of this world/country/person/group!
That decade was so… 2016 was so… are such artificial constructs.
Fortunes and eras don’t wait for a date, beginning and ending at any time they please.
They could last for a second, 17 days, 8 months, 13.5 years or 7.34567 decades.

Why a New Year Resolution?
Why not a New Month Resolution or a New Week Resolution or a New Day Resolution or a Mid-Day Resolution?

If it’s a really good resolution, then you don’t have to wait till the New Year.
If you’ve put off the resolution for the New Year, then the Resolution may well continue to be put off way after that.

You know that New Year Resolutions are just another form of GIGO, called RIRO…
GIGO=Garbage In Garbage Out.
RIRO=Resolution In Resolution Out.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

December 2016 Status Updates

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Rogue One is a prequel to the original trilogy and a sequel to the prequel trilogy.
Effectively Star Wars Episode 3.5, its prequel will be Episode 3.25 and sequel Episode 3.75.

(December 21)

Hum jahan khade ho jaate hain, TRP ratings ki line wahi se shuru hoti hain.
— #ArnabGoswami
(As he launches a new news channel #Republic)

(December 16)

Time P̶e̶r̶s̶o̶n̶ American of the Year.
When no worthwhile A̶m̶e̶r̶i̶c̶a̶n̶ , then only some non-American Person.

(December 9)

Chennai was depressed and even Bengaluru started crying.
#CycloneNada

(December 2)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu kabhi nahin paas hoga musings

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The Congress has been severely downgraded thanks to #DemonetizaSON.
#Pappu

My speech will cause an earthquake: Pappu.
True.
Imagine crores of Indians watching and rolling on the floor with laughter at the same time.

Dear Pappu,
What are you doing?
You are too late for 2014.
And too early for 2019.

Dear Pappu,
Since 2004 there have been 1000+ Indian MPs.
You are not even in the Top 100.
Who cares whether you speak or not in Parliament!

Read my lips—no new taxes.
Bush—1988.
Thrashed in 1992.
Read my lips—The PM is personally terrified with the info I have.
Pappu—2016.
What to say to “already thrashed guy”?

Pappu,
You claim that your speech can cause an earthquake.
Well, Modi’s one word is enough to cause an earthquake.
“Mitron!”

Pappu ka earthquake aa ke chala bhi gaya.
Bahut bahut bada tha.
Par woh escape velocity ke saath chala gaya aur Jupiter pe hua.

If Pappu was an editor, he would release ads throughout the year saying…
Sensational scoop coming next year!

#PappuzWorld
Bofors = Development.
2G = Development.
Coalgate = Development.
#NationalHerald = Development.
#Demonetization = Greatest scam ever!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The UPA scams just go on and on…

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Economic Reforms.
1. Rao.
2. Vajpayee.
3. Modi.
That’s it.
Manmohan was merely initially Rao’s assistant and then Sonia’s.

Axis Bank in the news for all the wrong reasons post #Demonetization.
Fun fact of the day…
Manmohan inaugurated the first Axis Bank then UTI Bank) in 1994.

Father of Acidic Reforms. (Spoilt politics)
Father of Uneconomic Reforms. (Corruption)
#Manmohan
Anything but Father of Economic Reforms—That was Rao.

Father of Bionic Reforms. (Robot)
Father of Anaemic Reforms. (Low energy)
#Manmohan
Anything but Father of Economic Reforms—That was Rao.

Manmohan Singh is 84.
And he still has to dance to Madam’s tunes.
Ghulam till I die!

Aam aadmi = Lakhpati.
Middle class = Crorepati.
Trader = Arabpati (100 crores).
Industrialist = Kharabpati (10,000 crores).
All scamsters = Neelpati (10 lakh crores).

Manmohan.
Coal Minister innocent in Coalgate.
Economic whiz innocent in 2G.
Guess he’s snow white despite signing AgustaWestland files.

Deve Gowda was the Humble Farmer.
Manmohan Singh was the Fumble Harmer.

To think that Sonia and Manmohan knew absolutely nothing of all the umpteen scams that took place during UPA rule is the height of naivety.

100 scams under Sonia’s UPA—They leave her totally alone. Totally.
Any move Modi makes big or small—Go batshit crazy & attack: Sparta!!!

UPA did 0/10 things.
No outrage for first 7-8 years.
Modi does 5/10 things.
A. He’s doing these 5 things wrong.
B. Why isn’t he doing the other 5 things?

Sonia’s UPA did scam upon scam and no-one attacked her, investigated her or went after her.
Modi’s every bold positive move is attacked viciously.

With the way he’s blabbing non-stop, looks like the P in P Chidambaram stands for Pappu.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

To err is for Modi Haters, to forgive them is liberal

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Right now there’s a royal battle brewing between Pappu, Kejri and Mamata to see who can end up as the worst politician of 2016.

The IQ of Indian politics was as it is low.
Kejri and his merry men brought it down even further!

After Modi became CM in 2001, he has been doing the same things with the same results.
After Manmohan won 2009, even Pappu has been doing the same things with the same results.

How many died after law and order breakdown thanks to Lalu, Mamata and Akhilesh coming in Bihar, WB and UP.
Or it doesn’t matter as they’re Modi haters?

Kejri: How was your day?
Pappu: Great! Hurled my 1000th baseless allegation against Modi and 100th resignation demand.
Kejri: I think I’m ahead of you!
#RameshSuresh

If you think Kejri-Jung was highly controversial then what will happen if Kiran Bedi becomes the new Lieutenant-Governor of New Delhi!
#ChooMantarJantarMantar

Lalu destroyed Bihar.
Got 5 more years.
Destroyed again.
5 more.
Again.
5 more.
Mamata destroyed West Bengal.
Got 5 more years.
Destroying again…

Kejri and Mamata playing a game of “Dumb and Dumber”.

Congress gets attacked (always belatedly) because it does scams.
Modi gets attacked (always 24X7) because he tries to stop scams.

Modi has won all his personal political battles from 2001.
Do you think he doesn’t have many tricks up his sleeve till 2019?

Modi is patiently waiting for the Rajya Sabha to come under his control.
#VicePresidentialElections
Disruptions will then come to an end.

Poriborton = Pori-bartan.
Bartan = vessel, as in…
Empty vessels make most noise.

Maybe Mamata identifies herself so much with the Bangladeshis that she sees the “Indian” Army as the “foreign” hand.

West Bengal governance. Congress—Bad. (Till 1977) CPM—Worse. (1977-2011) TMC—Worst. (2011-__)

Mamata-Akhilesh-Kejri—The Bermuda Triangle of governance (it disappears). Since Lalu is ruling by proxy, make it the Bermuda Quadrilateral.Those who can govern, do it.

Those who can’t, do nautanki. #Kejri #Mamata #Lalu

Military coup = If Army chief overthrows Prime Minister. Mamata’s definition = I can see soldiers from my Secretariat window!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#VideshiLiberal musings

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globe-147715_640Social Media is now the Fourth Estate.
Mainstream Media is the Fifth Column.

Some benefit from the Industrial Revolution and praise it.
Others benefit from the Industrial Revolution and praise the Communist Revolution.
Former are called the Right.
The latter are called the Left.

Capitalism has a lot of sins.
But Communism has no virtues.

If you attack anyone viciously 24X7, you certainly can’t accuse him of being a Fascist dictator suppressing free speech.
#Modi #Trump

The day Communism collapses in China like USSR 1991 is the day the gigantic pack of cards of its economy will crash down in that country.

UK Labour just came fourth in a bye election.
Happened to Indian Congress yesterday.
Happening to UK Labour today.
Will happen to US Democrats tomorrow.
#LeftDecline

2013: Modi can’t get 272.
2015: Trump can’t get 270.
2016: One is Time Person of the Year and the other is the Popular Choice for the same.

Obama was Time Person of the Year.
But then, so was Hitler!
(See how easy that was?)

#PresidentTrump
#EPAChiefPruitt
Basically all current alarmist global climate scientists can take a long walk to oblivion now.

When Modi tells the truth…
Media: It could be a lie?
When Modi Haters tells a lie…
Media: It could be the truth?
#Propaganda
(Can replace Modi with Trump)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru