Category Archives: Indian Politics

When Manmohan lost his cool in the Rajya Sabha…

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Manmohan: So how did I do today?
Social Media Unit: Great sir! #PMChorHai is trending right at the top!
Manmohan: #TheekHai
Social Media Unit: Hehe, that’s a classic sir!

Gali gali main shor hain,
PM ke speeches bore hai.

Gali gali main chor hai,
Ye sab khaali shor hai.

The new “na ghar ka na ghat ka”…
Bharat ka Pradhan Mantri na economics ka na politics ka.

MMS: Madam madam, ye sab log mujhe chor bol rahe hai!
Pappu: You’re like Rani ki Jhansi… Lot of anger in you… Must be checked… It’s all a state of mind… Rajya Sabha is a beehive…
MMS: #TheekHai

Manmohan Singh taught me…
1. Money doesn’t grow on trees.
2. Theek Hai.
3. India only country where MPs shout PM chor hai.
4. N-deal most important thing from 2004-13.

Which country in the world?
1. PM = Puppet.
2. PM refuses to give regular PCs.
3. Scams’ record broken.
4. Food Bill to counter economic crisis.
5. A private citizen’s name at airports.

Finally released in Rajya Sabha in 2013…
Kab Tak Chup Rahunga?
Manmohan Singh Ko Gussa Kyun Aata Hai?

Progress…
1980s—Slogan in streets: Gali gali main shor hain, Rajiv Gandhi chor hai.
2013—Slogan in Parliament: PM chor hai.

Pappu: Lot of anger in India. Must be checked.
Manmohan: Sabse jyaada gussa to mujhe aa raha hai!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Food-Land Bills and Congressi musings…

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In the 2011 remake of Do Bigha Zameen, the Land Bill saves Shambu’s plot and he makes even more money by appearing in a Bharat Nirman ad.

Lackey: Madam, the people of India are starving.
Madam: Let them eat from the Food Bill!

Rupee gaya tel lene…
The whole thing is that ki bhaiyya, sabse bada vote hai bhaiyya…

The Congress launched their War Against Common Sense in 2011.
Looks like they will continue through 2014.

Aam maa…
Paapi pet ka sawaal hai…
Sonia maa…
Pappu pet ka sawaal hai…

Sethusamudram Canal Project.
Anti-environmental.
Anti-economic.
Anti-Hindu.
Anti-State.
But Sonia wants it.
Sums up this country today.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

India sinking…

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The UPA should be renamed Gravity.
It pulls everything down.

Father of the Nation = Narasimha Rao.
Godmother of the Nation = She Who Must Not Be Named.

Facebook to India: I’m also in the 100 Crore People Club
Ranbir to Khans: I’m also in the Rs 100 Crore Club.
$ to £: I’ll also be in Rs 100 Club soon!

Sitting in an auto looking at the rigged meter going up like crazy reminds you of the rate of Rupee, Petrol, Onion prices etc going up crazily too.

When Rupee touches 100 versus Dollar, we can switch to Cents.
Then it’ll be 1 Cent = 1 Rupee.
Oh wait, already roughly…
1 Penny = 1 Rupee.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

State of the nation in numbers…

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Q: What’s common to Manmohan Singh and onions?
A: Both are 80. Both make you cry!

By a quirk of fate, India, Sonia and Rupee are all 66.

All Indian PMs have been older than India.
(They were born before Independence)
Modi could break this record.
P.S. Pappu is just older than Bangladesh.

Modi, 62.
Sonia, 66.
India, 66.
Rupee, 66.
Petrol, 76.
Onion, 80.
MMS, 80.
LKA, 85.
Sirf Pappu jawan hai!

True story.
Write a status message about the value of the Rupee (versus the dollar).
By the time you post it, the Rupee’s gone up again!

Rupee trolling and trailing Petrol saying…
Akele akele kahaan jaa rahe ho,
Hame saath le lo jahaan jaa rahe ho…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indian economy gaya tel lene…

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India is in a State of Poverty and I don’t Mind: Pappu.

Experts have finally found the root cause of the current economic crisis.
It’s been traced to 22 May, 2004.
(Irrelevant fact: Manmohan Singh took oath of office on 22 May, 2004)

Chidu’s 10-point plan to revive economy: 1. Fiscal deficit. 2. Forex. 3. PSU banks. 4. Exports. 5. Manufacturing. 6. CAD. 7. CCI. 8. Capex. 9. Monsoon benefits. 10. Impasses.
Citizen’s 1-point plan to UPA to revive economy: 1. Quit.

Indian Rupee sat on a wall,
Indian Rupee had a great fall.
All the queen’s chamchas and all the PM’s men
Couldn’t put Indian Rupee together again.

Said…
Terrorists had come for a chota mota blast.
Vadra is a chota mota farmer.
It’s a chota mota scam.
Unsaid…
Manmohan is a chota mota economist.

Expert: The Indian economy is a Tiger!
Citizen: Save the Tiger!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Government end of days musings…

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All Congressmen and beat reporters have a Sonia App on their mobile.
The moment she’s Unhappy, the Status flashes on their screen.

What if in 2014?
The light at the end of the tunnel is actually the headlights of the oncoming Third Front Train.

The Congress general elections trilogy…
1977: Doom 1.
1989: Doom 2.
2014: Doom 3.

Filmi Singh is King released in 2008.
No sequel.
Political Singh is King released in 2009.
No sequel.

Dynasty…
CongRace1: Nehru.
CongRace2: Indira.
CongRace3: Rajiv.
Sonia…
UPA1.
UPA2.
UPA3 ke baad kuch bhi nahin bachega.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru