Said: We believe that you have the right to say whatever you want…
Unsaid: …as long as it agrees with us.

Said: We do not believe in censorship, but pre-screening.
Unsaid: How about a compulsory Anti-Offensive Software for every computer? Think of the effectiveness! Think of the revenue for such a project! Think of the kickbacks!

Said: I will defend your right to freedom of speech till the very end.
Unsaid: Till your end at least!

Said: Look at these photos. Aren’t they offensive? (At the press conference)
Unsaid: A voracious Facebooker like me hadn’t even seen these photos! Now thanks to you, millions are exchanging the same on the Internet all over the world.

Said: We asked the Internet companies to come out with a mechanism in four long weeks.
Unsaid: Even though the Lokpal Bill has been hanging fire with us politicos for four short decades.

Said: We asked them to give it in writing!
Unsaid: Even though our written “sense of the house” had absolutely no bearing on the Lokpal Bill.

Said: We will come out with the guidelines soon.
Unsaid: I have seen what problems this silly move has created and as usual we are going to make the problem so big that we will be forced to beat a hasty retreat.

© Sunil Rajguru

∙ Freedom is my virtual birthright and I shall have it!

∙ Cyberspace is free speech of the netizens, for the netizens and by the netizens and all the politicians can go jump in a virtual lake!

∙ The Internet did not invent free speech. In a very real sense … free speech invented the Internet.

∙ It is true that in cyberspace you may suppress most of the people some of the time; you can even suppress some of the people all the time; but you can’t suppress all of the people all of the time.

∙ And so, my foolish politicians: ask not what the Internet can do for you – ask what you can do for the Internet.

∙ Politicians do not mistrust the Internet because they are maligned; they are maligned because they mistrust the Internet.

∙ Politicians versus the Internet: First they ignore it, then they try to suppress it, then they fight it, then the Internet wins.

∙ Tum mujhe bandwidth do, main tumhe free speech doonga…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Desibal: The amount of noise Sibal makes when he makes a grand announcement about things like policing the Internet.
1 Desibal = 200 decibels (dB).
Reference: 130dB=Threshold of pain. 194dB=The theoretical limit for undistorted sound.

Invisibal: The unseen logic of all the school of thoughts in the world that do not conform to Sibalism.

Abolisibal: Something that should be totally done away with, like cyberspace and the BJP.

Irasibal: The irritation we feel when we see Sibal and the irritation he feels when he looks down upon us.

Sensibal: What Mr Sibal thinks he is when he is actually nonsensibal.

Coersibal: The force which Sibal thinks he has to coerce us into submission.

Convinsibal: A synonym for unable of being convinced.

Enforsibal: Cyberspace censorship? Ha ha ha!

Forsibal: What we will do if you don’t compy with us.

Permisibal: The condition of only pro-Congress things being allowed in India.

© Sunil Rajguru