Category Archives: Indian Politics

UPA bashings of the day 2…

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· In the 1980s, Bofors gave the Opposition an orgasm.
That way, this is a multiple orgasm government.

· UPA’s favourite movie is Black. Black money. Black coal. Power Blackout. Net blackout. Black future. Blackguards all.

· Dhanteras comes every year.
For the Congress Kaladhanteras comes every day of the year.

· Yesterday…
Madam you are just like Indira!
No, her father was Nehru, mine wasn’t.
Today…
Madam you are just like Indira!
No, she could impose Emergency and I can’t!

· Crores of Indians have Congrage right now and want to overthrow the government in anger.

· Itna zero loss no loss kar rahe hai ye log that the UPA score is now Rs 5 lakh crore for no loss.

· UPA: Manufactured in 2004.
Expiry date: 2012.
Will decompose and stink the longer it stays.

· The Congress was Created by a foreigner.
At this rate, it will be Destroyed by a foreigner too.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress versus Cyberspace 3

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· Government guidelines…
$1billion in Swiss Bank Account: Safe.
Hate article in fringe publication: Safe.
Formation of violent fringe group: Safe.
Twitter Account: Dangerous!

· US: Wag the Dog. India: Wag the Virtual Dog.

· During appraisal, it was found that real PMO Twitter account was trending last among all PMO accounts.
They just decided to kill the competition, that’s all!

· Obama WikiLeaks ke peeche, Manmohan Twitter ke peeche.
World War 3 will be fought in Cyberspace.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress versus Cyberspace 2

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· 1975: Emergency. 2012: e-mergency.
(e=electronic, a la “email”)

· Hindi-Chini bhai-bhai,
Censorship ki ek hi ladai.

· While Congress is the Chief Online Blocker, Mamata is the Chief Offline Blocker.
Ram milaaye jodi, ek andha (can’t see the reality) aur ek behari (doesn’t listen to anyone).

· Congress Pre-1947: We will give you freedom.
Congress 2012: We will take away your Internet freedom.

· The UPA has finally implemented Right to Reject and Right to Recall.
Only it refers to rejecting and recalling websites on the Net.

· Twitter: A social networking platform.
Tweeple: People who Tweet.
Twits: Those who want Twitter banned.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Congress versus Cyberspace

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· Dear Government,
Trying to get the Internet constipated?
You’ll only end up with a full blown case of diarrhea attack upon you!

·The 4Cs that are Cutting the Congress: Cyberspace. CAG. Civil Society. Courts.

·We will eradicate Partition pain: Nehru.
We will eradicate poverty: Indira.
We will eradicate Twitter, Facebook: Manmohan.

·When there’s a war, cities undergo blackouts.
The Government wants blackouts in cyberspace before it attacks further.

·Advisor: There is a real problem of Bangladeshi illegal immigration into India.
Government: We are more worried about the problem of Twitter &FB’s illegal immigration of ideas into Indian thought.

·1975: When the media was asked to bend, they crawled.
2012: When the Government looked, the media (MSM) were already crawling in the first place!

·Congress: Twitter has 140 shady characters.
Twitter: Congress has more than 140 shady characters in its ranks.

·Many countries have a Sense of Humour.
India has a Sense of Tumour, a cancer which is eating away at humour, creativity, free speech and expression.

·MMS is a chuha in real life (doing nothing) and a Singham in cyberspace (banning everything left right and centre).

·Quota Politics. What after 5 SMSes a day limit? 5 status messages a day limit? This current government exceeded its quota of good ideas years back.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

A farfetched comparison…

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Hitler was democratically elected but still became intolerant, arrogant and fascist in outlook and wasn’t interested in what other parties and people were thinking. His Minister of Propaganda was Goebbels and they banned a lot of books. Their most shameful episode is the Holocaust. Hitler had the numbers to introduce an Emergency like situation.

The Congress was democratically elected but still became intolerant, arrogant and fascist in outlook and isn’t interested in what other parties and people are thinking. Its Minister of Propaganda is Sibal and they have banned a lot of websites. Their most shameful episode is the anti-Sikh riots of 1984. UPA don’t have the numbers to introduce an Emergency like situation.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

UPA bashing of the day…

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· I have a strong feeling that the Congress leadership has a game every morning to select “Idiot of the Day” and that person entertains TV channels and trends on Twitter for the day.

· Whenever the US is under threat, a 100 random lives get killed for no reason.
Whenever the UPA is under threat, a 100 random websites get killed for no reason.

· Hamam main sab nanga,
Par usme bhi Congress sabse changa.
(Actually ye hai bahati corruption ki Ganga).

∙ Q: Aap ka dhan ka kaalapan ka raaz kya hai?
UPA: Hum roz Coalgate ka istemaal karte hai!

∙ Coal is a fossil fuel.
The UPA is full of fossils and has no more fuel to run any more.

· Manmohan’s personal symbol is the Lotus. He’s squeaky clean but surrounded by tonnes of mud.
(No wonder the BJP hate him so much!)

· Rahul is a Twit whose exploits have been ReTwitted in cyberspace a million times.
Boy will he Trend when he becomes PM!

∙ Million dollar Baby: Hollywood.
$100 Billion Dollar Baby: UPA Scams.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru