Category Archives: Indian Politics

BJP Gujarat victory musings…

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· In 2007 Gujarat polls, BJP got 10 less seats. In 2012, 2 less. So if BJP gets 114 seats in 2017, Chidambaram will call it a hat-trick of wins for Congress.

· A tale of two would be PMs…
Every success takes me closer to the PM’s chair: Modi.
Funny! The same thing happens with my successive failures: Rahul.

· A tale of 4 Gujaratis…
Gandhi liberated India.
Jinnah created Pakistan.
Patel united India.
What will Modi do?

· Best to take your greatest fears head on.
TV Channels: We’re petrified of Modi becoming PM.
So let’s take it head on and discuss it non-stop!

· Waiting for Rahul to say that had Modi not been born, then there would have been no Godhra, 20% growth in the state and there would have been paradise on Earth in Gujarat.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Barney song for all occasions…

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Original…
I love you, you love me,
We’re a happy family,
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you,
Won’t you say you love me too?

For Twitter…
I Follow you,
You Follow me,
We’re all Followers like Followers should be,
With a great big ReTweet,
And a mention from me to you,
Won’t you say you’ll ReTweet me too?

For Facebook…
I Like you,
You Like me,
We’re all friends like friends should be,
With a great big Comment,
And a Poke from me to you,
Won’t you say you Like me too?

For Congress-BJP bhai bhai in scams…
I help you,
You help me,
We’re all scamsters like scamsters should be,
With a great big deal cut,
And a share from me to you,
Won’t you say you’ll defend me too?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Indian politics…

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• Only in India: A party playing minority politics calls itself secular (Congress), a party with an ultra-Left outlook calls itself anti-Left (TMC), a party that championed reforms is opposing FDI (BJP) and a party which bemoans the caste system uses caste as its sole idenitiy (BSP).

• Sonia: If only I could speak like her. Sushma: If only I had her power.
Rahul: If only I had his personality. Modi: If only I had his destiny.

• Communal BJP is opposing FDI.
Therefore FDI becomes secular.
Hence it should be supported.

• The Congress started the Swadeshi Movement in 1905 and the Videshi Movement in 1991.

• Group A: Best Hindi orator Sushma + Best English orator Jaitley + Popular PM choice Modi + Best CM Nitish.
—Will lose in the elections to—
Group B: Sonia can’t speak for nuts + Rahul can’t think for nuts + Manmohan can’t govern for nuts.
Welcome to India. Barack Obama would lose his deposit here.

• The UPA is a lame duck government, but it still manages to give a solid kick with its good leg.

• When a secular wants to criticize a Muslim, he criticizes a Hindu first to show balance.
When Arvind Kejriwal wants to attack the Congress, he attacks the BJP first to show balance.

• England has the concept of Shadow Prime Minister.
India has the concept of Shadow Allies. (SP & BSP)

• Sholay, FDI remix: SP-BSP apne MPs se kehti hai, bhaag ja warna communalism aa jayega.

• Hamaam main sab nanga. Sirf main kapde pahan ke nahata hu: Arvind Kejriwal.

• Our netas understanding of issues…
Q: FDI kya hai?
SP: BJP.
Q: Nahin, iska matlab kya hai?
SP: Communalism.
Q: Matlab, support kyun nahi kar rahe?
SP: BJP.
Q: Matlab, danger kya hai?
SP: Communalism.
Q: To phir abstain karke pass kyun karwaya?
SP: BJP aur communalism.

• Congress party ke do hai rakshak,
Hamesha bachate hai, bhale hi kare pahale bakbak,
Maya Didi aur Mulayam Chacha, hai koi shak?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Whacky movie titles for Arvind Kejriwal’s party…

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Arvind Kejriwal has launched the Aam Aadmi Party or AAP.

If the voters like the party: AAP Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage.

When the party takes an oath of office: AAP Ki Kasam.

Fans of the party: AAP Ke Deewane.

If the voters totally embrace the party: Hum Ho Gaye AAP Ke.

If the party wins the voter’s hearts: Yeh Dil AAP Ka Hua.

If a new political season comes from the party: AAP Aaye Bahaar Ayee.

If the voters are with the party: AAP Ke Saath.

The party’s internal Lokpal: AAP Ki Adalat.

If Kejriwal breaks his promises: AAP To Aise Na The!

If the party makes dumb decisions: Kya AAP Paanchvi Pass Se Tez Hain?

Servants of the people: AAP Ki Sewa Main.

Theme song…

AAP jaise koi mere zindagi main aaye, to baat ban jaaye…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

BJP-Congress musings…

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∙ How to successfully handle a scam worth “Lakh Crores”: Congress.
How to hopelessly bungle a scam worth mere lakhs: BJP.

∙ Indian media rules…
When the BJP makes a little mistake, magnify it.
When the Congress makes a big mistake, hide it.
A Dynasty mistake? Go deaf, mute and blind!

∙ Veerappan was caught. So was Prabhakaran. Even Osama. But hell will freeze over much before a Congress leader gets convicted for scams.

∙ Rats win the rat race. Cons win the Congress.

∙ In 1922, Mahatma Gandhi went to jail for his writing in Young India.
In 2012, Swamy wants Rahul Gandhi to go to jail for bad underwriting in Young Indian.

∙ So it’s no longer a Boycott JPC Party.

∙ We gave the Mughals 231 years, the East India Company 101 years and the British Raj 89 years. That way the Congress has ruled India for only 52 years. They need a little more time.

∙ Nitin Gadkari: Swami Vivekananda = +1. Dawood Ibrahim = -1.
Media: 1=1! Vivekananda=Dawood! Pakad liya! Yippee!!!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress down the ages…

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∙ 1885-1947: Indian National Congress.
1947-64: Indian Nehru Congress.
1966-84: Indira National Congress.
1984-Now: Indian Nehru-Gandhi (Dynasty) Congress.

∙ Janata vs Congress…
Pre-1947: Congress vs British “Janata”.
1977-80: Congress vs “Janata” Party.
1989-96: Congress vs “Janata” Dal.
1998-2011: Congress vs Bharatiya “Janata” Party.
2011-Now: Congress vs Indian “Janata”.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru