Modi: Maja ma?
PM: Raja ma!
Modi: Kyu ji?
PM: 2G!
Modi: Kya bolta re?
PM: CAG bolta re!
Modi: I see!
PM: SC!
Modi: OK bye!
PM: DMK bye!
© Sunil Rajguru
Overheard… telecom chapter
2
Category Archives: Overheard…
Overheard 3…
2008: Kasab should be hanged.
2009: Will Kasab be hanged?
2010: Kasab will be hanged!
2011: Will Kasab really be hanged?
2012-2020: When will Kasab be hanged?
2021-Onwards: I don’t think Kasab will ever be hanged.
Mamata: Tata!
Buddha: Don’t raise old issues. That’s dead in Bengal and gone to Gujarat.
Mamata: Who’s talking of Ratan or Singur? Me and the State are saying tata to you and your party!
Caller: Regarding the IPL…
Pawar: What’s that?
Caller: The Indian Premier League…
Pawar: Never heard of it!
Caller: But you set it up, you’re the cricket badshah…
Pawar: The ICC has nothing to do with other boards and leagues.
Caller: But Modi said…
Pawar: I have no truck with Narendra Modi.
Caller: I give up.
Supriya: See! I told you it’s so easy!
© Sunil Rajguru
Overheard… IPL Chapter
Where’s the star reporter?
Covering the IPL…
Where’s the local reporter?
IPL matches shifted out of city, looking into that.
Where’s the business reporter?
Multi-billion dollar IPL industry, business leaders, I-T raids…
Where’s the international affairs reporter?
Australian, English, Pakistan boards keenly looking at the IPL crisis…
Where’s the environment reporter?
Some green initiatives announced by IPL got buried…
Where’s the film reporter?
SRK premises raided, Preity promises to talk…
What about other news?
Is there any other news happening? Oh yeah, Sania is landing in Pakistan! Our Pakistan correspondent will handle that one!
***
Hey you’re back from the stadium!
Yeah it was awesome!
B…
Wow those cheerleaders sure are hot!
Bu…
I saw SRK, Juhi and Preity in the crowds. Great man!
But…
They’ve really made a great giant screen.
But w…
3 sixes actually went out of the stadium.
But wh…
You saw the dug-out. Players and head honchos…
But who…
Firecrackers. Music. The atmosphere is electric.
But who won?
Eh? Hmmm. I don’t remember!
***
Regular speaker: I’m going to have a nervous breakdown. So busy.
Why what happened?
4 chat shows, 7 interviews on 8 news channels in 24 hours! I don’t know how much longer I can handle this IPL crisis!
***
Minister: We’re thinking of having IPL-style premier leagues for all Indian sports!
Official: Why? Do you want corruption, sleaze, controversy and hungama to spread to all the other sports too?
***
Mate, I think I’ll be retiring soon!
Why?
Do you think the IPL will last? There may be no IPL4. I’ll be out of a job…
***
© Sunil Rajguru
Overheard… online chapter
• Father: No news of him. He just fell off the Face of the Earth.
Son: No news of him. He just fell off Facebook.
• Today I’ve been feeling really lonely… like I’m the only person on Earth.
Maybe you should see a doctor.
Nah! I’ll be fine tomorrow. My Internet connection is down today.
• Dad…
…when we die, does our soul go to cyberspace?
…did people interact with each other before there were social networking sites?
…if they unleash a virus, then will there be a virtual famine in Farmville?
© Sunil Rajguru
Overheard 2…
First Voice: Namaste Mayaji. Kaise ho? Aaj kal dikahi aur sunai nahin dete ho. Media wale aapko bhool gaye kya. Haha.
Second Voice: Dikhai to aap bhi nahin dete Mulayamji! Sab jagah Amarji chaye hue hain. Aur woh na aapke party ke hain na mere. Hahaha.
Faint Third Voice: Hahahahahahahahaha…
First voice: Arre ye kiski awaaz hain? Ye to Rahul lage rahe hain! Mayaji, aapka phone kahin tap to nahin ho raha hain…
***
Sachin: Oh God! I thank you for all that you are giving me…
God: But I am very upset.
Sachin: Aila! Is that Deva re Deva? But what have I done?
God: I am suing you for copyright infringement!
Sachin: Kai mahantat tumhi deva…
God: You have heard of the phrase: Sachin is God?
Sachin: Yes, but…
God: Well, I used to hear it a few hundred times at max, but after it became a trending topic, I hear it a few million times a day, that is way beyond permissible limits…
Sachin: Aila! Me kai kelo… it’s my fans… they are infringing copyright… I am just going out and enjoying my game… why does this always happen to me?
***
Raj: Let’s divide Mumbai. I’ll take Amitabh, you take the rest of the Bollywood like SRK. You take Sachin and IPL and I’ll take the rest of cricketing controversies. I’ll take the taxi-drivers and you take the rest of the migrants. You take on Rahulji, I’ll take on Soniaji from now on…
Udhav: But I have already divided Mumbai! I get full Mumbai and you get nothing!
***
Woods: Hello this is Tiger Woods…
First Female Voice: Sorry I am not interested!
Woods: But I was just asking about my bank account!
Woods: Hello this is Tiger Woods…
Second Female Voice: Sorry I am not interested!
Woods: But I was just trying to order a pizza!
Woods: Hello this is Tiger Woods…
Third Female Voice: Sorry I am not interested!
Woods: Forget it!
Woods: Secretary. Remove all the female contacts from my contact list. For some strange reason women don’t want to talk to me anymore. And connect me only to males whenever I want to ask for anything.
(Silence)
Woods: Secretary! Secretary!
(Silence)
Woods: Damn! She’s left just like that! I have to get a good male secretary first!
***
© Sunil Rajguru
Overheard on Facebook…
* My life is like an open Facebook, everyone knows what I’m doing.
* It’s not what you are thinking… we’re just Facebook friends.
* If you don’t like me, you can at least like my statuses.
* You call me your friend and never even bother to tag me!
* Nobody likes me and nobody even reads my Notes.
* I’m detoxifying my mind. I won’t log in to Facebook for a week.
* I haven’t seen you on Facebook for ages. Is everything OK?
* Didn’t I meet you in Farmville once?
* I never met her. She was just a Facebook friend.
* Sorry, but all our Facebook quizzes show that we are incompatible.
* Forget him, he’s just a mere Orkuter.
© Sunil Rajguru