My great great grandfather founded Congress.
My great grandfather founded India.
My grandmother founded Bangladesh.
My uncle founded the Indian automobile industry.
My father founded the Computer Age.
My mother founded a poverty free India.
I will found Paradise.
The next Nehru-Gandhi generation will found Heaven itself.
© Sunil Rajguru
Aamir Khan: Papa kehete the…
Pappu: Papa kehete the… Daadi keheti thi… Pardada kehete the… Pardada ke Papa kehete the… Mummy keheti hai…
With his oratory, Pappu set out to better Barack Obama, but ended up surpassing even George W Bush.
Congress election slogan for 2014…
UPA2 to sirf jhaaki hai,
UPA3 abhi baaki hai.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
The Congress is everywhere, it’s in your shirt, it’s in your pants. It’s bigger than Europe and the US put together. Congress ek soch hai. Congress ek jagah hai… magar Congress ek soch hai. Hence it is also a state of mind, if you have confidence, you will overcome it. Agar desh ko badalna hai, toh pahale Congress ko badalo… (Not happening!) Because to escape from the Congress, you require an escape velocity that is not only greater than that of Jupiter but that of the Sun. Vote for us in 2014 and you will say “I have lost it” and the escape velocity will be then even greater than that of a Black Hole.
This spoof by Sunil Rajguru
In George Orwell’s 1984, there is a scene where a leader is giving a speech to a huge crowd and in the middle of it, he is given instructions and suddenly starts speaking exactly the opposite…
A similar Pappu moment just happened in India in 2014!
Sonia: OK, get ready to sit in the Opposition.
Pappu: I oppose the Government. Nonsense, tear it up…
Sonia: Sigh! That’s not what I meant.
How many Congress leaders must be doing a facepalm behind closed doors saying “Nautanki sala!”?
Advisor: Sir another attack on you!
PM: Who is it this time? Modi? Twitter? Pak?
Advisor: This time it’s Pappu!
The UPA story…
Manmohan: Yes, we can!
Sonia/Pappu: No, you can’t!
Pappu: Aaj kuch toofani karte hai!
Pranabda: Actually that’s called stealing my thunder!
Supreme Court supports Right to Reject.
Pappu Rejects convicted netas Ordinance.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Jethmalani was a lawyer in 1942.
Advani was a politician in 1951.
Pappu was a kid in 1979.
Sachin was a cricketer in 1989.
Sigh! Some things never change!
Principle…
Buy one and get one free.
Example…
Vote for Sonia and get Manmohan for free.
If there was such a thing as autopilot to run the country, it would run better than the way it is being run now.
In 2004, Manmohan Singh was a trainee Prime Minister.
In 2008, he was still on Probation.
He was confirmed in 2009 and like all good government employees, promptly stopped working after that.
What if…
Rupee fir jawan ho raha hai, market fir uth raha hai, public memory short hai, so in 2014…
I’ll be back!
—Manmohan Singh.
CBI.
For Friends of Congress
= Criminal Bachao Institution
For Enemies of Congress
= Criminal Banao Institution.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Poora scam ka paisa khaayenge,
Congress ko jeetayenge.
Aadhi roti hawa main,
Pappu beta tawa pe,
Kya ye desh ki dawa hai?
Abbe kya tu daaru pee ke pada hai?
Na billi hain na parcha hai,
Bas Pappu ka hi charcha hain,
Par ye kya wakayi accha hai?
Kyunki ye to baccha hain,
Uska dimaag bhi kuch kaccha hai,
Ye sab solaah aane saccha hai…
Jab tak suraj chand rahega,
Bhrashtachar tera naam rahega,
Pappu beta tu kya karega?
Pappu hai aur Gandhi hai,
Chai ke pyaale main aandhi hai.
Pappu ka haath,
Aam aadmi ke saath,
Maro apne dimaag ko laat,
Aur lagao desh ki waat.
Pappu ko lana hai,
Congress ko bachana hai,
Bhale hi desh ko marwana hai.
Manmohan hatao aur Pappu ko lao?
Desh ko dubao, mewa khao,
Congress log naacho, kudo aur gaao.
Koi jaat, koi biradar,
Congress main sabhi barabar,
Unless you’re in the Gandhi biradar.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru