Modi general election musings…

The BJP actually released its manifesto way back on September 13, 2013.
It was the shortest one ever and read…
Modi is our PM candidate.

Modi is like Windows.
The moment you take his name in a debate, the debate hangs and gets stuck.

Which is bigger:
Anti-Congress wave or pro-Modi wave?
Which is smaller:
Pro-Congress wave or anti-Modi wave?
Does it exist:
Any non-Modi non-Congress wave?

Modi hater: Do you think India will ever move on from 2002.
Correct question: Will the Modi hater ever move on from 2002?
Answer: No.

No agreement on…
World: Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?
India: Did Modi mastermind Godhra or not?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Abki baar Modia sarkaar musings…

Abki baar Modi sarkar,
= Aakhri baar Dynasty ki sarkar.

Why not start campaigning for 2019…
Abki baar Modi sarkar,
Agli baar bhi Modi sarkar.

Ye manifesto kya cheez hai yaar?
Ab ki baar Modi sarkar.

The D4 slogan…
Ek, do, teen, chaar,
Ek, do, teen, chaar,
Chaaro milke saath chale to kar de chamatkar,
Par ye kya hai yaar,
Abki baar Modi sarkar.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The ultimate Ab ki baar Modi sarkar rhyme…

Ab ki baar aar ya paar,
Ab ki baar no daraar,
Ab ki baar Delhi is not far,
Pappu PM only in jocular,
Pakki hai Congress ki haar,
Hil gaya Delhi ka durbaar,
Milega use ek naya avatar,
Milenge naye naye shikaar.
Ab ki bar Modi sarkar.

There’s only one charcha in the bazaar,
Only one conversation in every car,
In each and every seminar,
While gulping pizza or idli-sambhaar,
Or even eating caviar,
Only one man is on the radar.
Ab ki bar Modi sarkar.

It’s the ultimate political interwar,
This country has become bipolar,
Desh ke beech main hai deewar,
Par kahe cop, general aur tehesildar,
Bole neta, kisan aur zamindar,
Kahe jawaan, manager aur jamaadar,
Even the student who does ratta maar.
Ab ki bar Modi sarkar.

Detractors kahe ye hain brutal tsar,
Godhra kahe baar baar baar,
Par hai ye bandha superstar,
Yaane ke simply stellular,
BJP ka hai ye lodestar-polestar,
Hai ye Saffron ka renewed waar,
Dega apne opposition ko zabardast maar,
Badlega Bharat ka sansaar,
Ab ki bar Modi sarkar.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

How Indian media focuses its camera…

photographer-424622_640Once upon a time…

Modi’s faults: Zoom in, zoom in!!!
Modi’s successes: Zoom out, zoom out!!!

Congress’s successes: Zoom in, zoom in!!!
Congress’s failures: Zoom out, zoom out!!!

Then…

Just zoom out of Congress (totally gone case) and zoom in on Modi’s speeches.

After that…

AAP’s successes: Zoom in, zoom in!!!
AAP’s failures: Zoom out, zoom out!!!

After the Somnath Bharti raid…

AAP’s faults: Zoom in, zoom in!!!

And it’s always been…

India’s tamashas, nautankis and sensationalist events: Zoom in, zoom in!!!
India’s real issues: Zoom out, zoom out!!!

© Sunil Rajguru

Yet more NaMo musings…

The media turns everyone into such a Hero that they eventually become a Villain.
#Pappu #Nitish #Kejriwal
The advantage with Modi is that they turned him into such a Villain from Day 1 that he eventually became a Hero for many.

NaMo’s Mission2014 diary…
Nitish self-destructed. <Check>
Advani self-destructed. <Check>
Pappu self-destructed. <Check>
–>Kejriwal self-destruct sequence initiated.

Vajpayee: 1980s hardliner, 1990s moderate.
Advani: 1990s hardliner, 2000s moderate.
Modi: 2000s hardliner, 2010s moderate?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Successive annual agenda for Modi haters…

2002: Modi will be sacked any time now.

2003: How has Modi not been dismissed by now?

2004: NDA has gone—Modi should step down as CM.

2005: Modi will get indicted/chargesheeted any time soon.

2006: Just a matter of time before Modi goes.

2007: Modi will never get re-elected in the absence of polarization.

2008: Modi has no moral authority on the CM’s chair.

2009: Pappu is the next PM, no BJP leader will ever come close.

2010: Modi is finished. The End.

2011: Modi cannot even dream of becoming PM.

2012: Advani will never allow Modi to be PM.

2013: BJP will never announce Modi as their PM candidate.

2014: Kejriwal will split votes and prevent Modi from becoming PM.

© Sunil Rajguru