Tag Archives: IPL

Ye IPL kab mujhe chhodega…

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Nowadays the IPL is to blame for everything. The BCCI’s mess. The UPA government’s performance. Shashi Tharoor’s career. NCP’s discomfort. … India’s humiliating World Cup loss. Tomorrow it will be blamed for international terrorism and global warming too…

Please read to the tune of Ye lal rang kab mujhe chhodega…

Ye IPL…

Ye IPL kab mujhe chhodega.

Ye IPL kab mujhe chhodega,
Ye IPL kab mujhe chhodega,
Mera game kab talak mera dil todega,
Ye IPL kab mujhe chhodega.

Kisi problem ka bhi liya naam to aaya yaad tu hi tu,
Kisi problem ka bhi liya naam to aaya yaad tu hi tu,
Ye to paisa haraam ka ban gaya he lahu,
Ye IPL kab mujhe chhodega.

Khelne ki waat hi laga di, ab khelunga kis tarah,
Khelne ki waat hi laga di, khelunga kis tarah,
Ye na socha tune yaar, world cup jeetunga kis tarah,
Ye IPL kab mujhe chhodega.

Chala jau kahi chhod ke mein tera ye IPL moolah, haan
Chala jao kahi chod ke mein tera ye IPL moolah,
Na to yaha amrit mile peeneko na zehar,
Ye IPL kab mujhe chhodega.

Mera game kab talak ho, mera dil todega,
Ye IPL kab mujhe chhodega…

Spoof By Sunil Rajguru

(Original Song: Ye lal rang kab mujhe chhodega
Film: Prem Nagar
Year: 1974)

Ring a-ring o’ roses Cricket League

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(When two elephants fight on the cricketing grass, both slip and fall down and flatten Indian cricket)

Ring a-ring o’ roses,
Pocketsful of paisa.
a-tishoo!, a-tishoo!.
They both fall down.

Brand name in the water,
Brand name in the sea,
Will it all righten up…
With a one-two-three?

Picking up the pieces,
picking up the pieces,
Atishoo!, Atishoo!
We all cover up.

Ring a-ring o’ roses,
Pocketsful of paisa.
a-tishoo!, a-tishoo!.
And cricket falls down…

This Version By Sunil Rajguru

IPL ki Paatshala, Masti ki Paatshala…

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Please sing to the tune of Loose Control from Rang de Basanti…

Lost control,
Lost control,
One more time,
Indian cricket’s lost control.

IPL’s a rebel,
IPL’s a rebel.

Na koi poochne wala, na koi check karne wala,
Na koi rokne wala, na koi hisaab lene wala,
Apni to paatshala, masti ki paatshala,
IPL ki paatshala, masti ki paatshala.

Lost control!

Paise ki boriyan hain, ham woh khaane aate hai,
Ye IPL hain sabki mobile money factory,
Deals ka equation hain, gadbad ka multiplication hain,
Jisne sabko lapeta hain,
Woh game hara, paisa jeeta hain,
Woh game hara, paisa jeeta hain,
Woh game hara, paisa jeeta hain.

Lost control,
Lost control,
One more time,
Indian cricket’s lost control.

IPL’s a rebel.

Talli hoke girne se samjhi cricketing economy,
Iska practical kiya tab bana IPL ka reality,
Na koi poochne wala, na koi check karne wala,
Naata ye cricket, politics, bollywood aur industry ka lamba hain,
Har dil dakh dakh kar raha hain ab dar se…
Na koi rokne wala, na koi hisaab lene wala,
Apni to paatshala, masti ki paatshala,
IPL ki paatshala, masti ki paatshala.

IPL’s a rebel.
Lost control!

Spoof By Sunil Rajguru

(Original song: Paatshaala
Film: Rang De Basanti
Year: 2006)

Overheard… IPL Chapter

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Where’s the star reporter?
Covering the IPL…
Where’s the local reporter?
IPL matches shifted out of city, looking into that.
Where’s the business reporter?
Multi-billion dollar IPL industry, business leaders, I-T raids…
Where’s the international affairs reporter?
Australian, English, Pakistan boards keenly looking at the IPL crisis…
Where’s the environment reporter?
Some green initiatives announced by IPL got buried…
Where’s the film reporter?
SRK premises raided, Preity promises to talk…
What about other news?
Is there any other news happening? Oh yeah, Sania is landing in Pakistan! Our Pakistan correspondent will handle that one!

***

Hey you’re back from the stadium!
Yeah it was awesome!
B…
Wow those cheerleaders sure are hot!
Bu…
I saw SRK, Juhi and Preity in the crowds. Great man!
But…
They’ve really made a great giant screen.
But w…
3 sixes actually went out of the stadium.
But wh…
You saw the dug-out. Players and head honchos…
But who…
Firecrackers. Music. The atmosphere is electric.
But who won?
Eh? Hmmm. I don’t remember!

***

Regular speaker: I’m going to have a nervous breakdown. So busy.
Why what happened?
4 chat shows, 7 interviews on 8 news channels in 24 hours! I don’t know how much longer I can handle this IPL crisis!

***

Minister: We’re thinking of having IPL-style premier leagues for all Indian sports!
Official: Why? Do you want corruption, sleaze, controversy and hungama to spread to all the other sports too?

***

Mate, I think I’ll be retiring soon!
Why?
Do you think the IPL will last? There may be no IPL4. I’ll be out of a job…

***

© Sunil Rajguru

Sab ganda hai par dhandha hai ye… (IPL remix)

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Please sing to the tune of Sab ganda hai from Company…

Cricket boat mein note, Modi pe khot, IPL pe chot,
Ghapla baar baar, jhootha hai karobaar, hain ye political war,
Sab ganda hai par dhandha hai ye…
Sab ganda hai par dhandha hai ye…
Sab ganda hai par dhandha hai ye…

Cricket ki sadan, sab kala hai dhan, rivals ki jalan,
Jhoothe hain hote, maange bas note, raho tum lotpot,
Sab ganda hai par dhandha hai ye…

Sab political parties ek, IPL pathshala main classmate, paise hi phek,
Cricket-fixing baar baar, betting ka karobaar, golmaal ka czar,
Sab ganda hai par dhandha hai ye…

Hazaaron hain raaz, dekho aas paas, paise ki pyaas,
Cricket boat mein note, Modi pe khot, IPL pe chot,
Sab ganda hai par dhandha hai ye…
Sab ganda hai par dhandha hai ye…
Sab ganda hai par dhandha hai ye…

Spoof By Sunil Rajguru

(Original song: Ganda Hai
Film: Company
Year: 2002)

What they really wanted to say on Tharoor…

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Laloo: What a loser! The fodder scam was worth thousands of crores and here I’ve heard that only 50-70 crores was involved! And that too not directly attributed to him! (Though I’ve heard he’s marrying her, in that case it’s OK as in politics wives have full access to the husband’s legacy. P.S. Rabri has already been CM so I am no longer interested in the Women’s Reservation Bill)

Mulayam: I hate cricket. I hate IPL. I hate British sports. Ban everything. (Actually the real reason why I want him out is that I’ve been meaning to ban computers and here’s a guy who’s taken Indian politics into the computer! Dangerous!)

Left: We don’t have any real issues and our policies are irrelevant to modern India, but we like protesting, which is on our blood, so we will protest any way. As it is, this guy is our No.1 Enemy as he spends thousands of Rupees on 5-star hotels. (Politicians’ thousands of crores of hidden money doesn’t bother us though)

Pranab: When I talked of austerity, he stayed in 5-star. Serves him right!

Modi: When we are together-together, I am Mr Clean. When we are against-against, I am Mr Shady? What a hypocrite!

Shashank Manohar: Ye IPL ke haath dede mujhe Thakur!

Balasaheb: This is not fair. I’ve been ruling politics for decades. I hate the IPL jamboree but no-one listened to me! Who’s this upstart who hasn’t been in politics even for a year! He’s been more successful than me this year. And he’s making Pawar squirm. That’s my department!

Manmohan: I really like this guy. With all these controversies, is anyone even talking about me? I am quietly doing what exactly I want to do. I’m loving it! I’ll definitely get this guy back when the entire furor ends.

© Sunil Rajguru