Raj karega AAP, magar dharna se…

Gali gali main dharna hai,
AAP ko kucch nahin karna hai.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
A dharna a day keeps the governance away.
An allegation a day keeps the real questions away.
#AAP

Strange bedfellows in Delhi…
Both AAP and Congress voted together to form government.
Both AAP and BJP want government to fall.
Both BJP and Congress are disgusted with AAP.

AAP has simply redefined “Ruling Government” to mean “Opposition to the Opposition”.
So now Delhi has two Oppositions and Zero governments.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

AAP daily nautanki musings…

Like CEO, CFO, CIO, CXO…
Arvind Kejriwal is the new CAO of India.
Chief Andolan Officer.
(Or CDA = Chief Dharna Officer)

Arvind Kejriwal should just launch a 24X7 TV channel and syndicate content to other channels.
Dharnas, stings, conspiracy theories, vigilante raids… no shortage of content.

AAP is like a student who got 100/100 in theory, failed in practicals and resorted to yelling at the invigilator, questions and system instead of changing.

Khap yahaan aaye kisliye?
Haryanvi voters ko bulaayaa isliye!

Tum mujhe khoon do, main tumhe azaadi doonga.
—Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose.
Tum mujhe votes do, main tumhe anarchy doonga.
—Arvind Kejriwal.

Problem: Congress had been ruling Delhi for 15 years.
Reality: AAP is currently ruling Delhi with Congress support.
Solution: Attack BJP and Modi.

Live every day as if it was your last.
—Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius.
Govern every day as if it was your last.
—Indian emperor Arvind Kejriwal.

AAP.
Out of power…
Allegations Agitations Party.
In power…
Allegations Agitations Party.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How Indian media focuses its camera…

photographer-424622_640Once upon a time…

Modi’s faults: Zoom in, zoom in!!!
Modi’s successes: Zoom out, zoom out!!!

Congress’s successes: Zoom in, zoom in!!!
Congress’s failures: Zoom out, zoom out!!!

Then…

Just zoom out of Congress (totally gone case) and zoom in on Modi’s speeches.

After that…

AAP’s successes: Zoom in, zoom in!!!
AAP’s failures: Zoom out, zoom out!!!

After the Somnath Bharti raid…

AAP’s faults: Zoom in, zoom in!!!

And it’s always been…

India’s tamashas, nautankis and sensationalist events: Zoom in, zoom in!!!
India’s real issues: Zoom out, zoom out!!!

© Sunil Rajguru

Kejriwal-AAP-dharna musings…

A tale of three anarchists…
Laloo: Bihar.
Akhilesh: UP.
Kejriwal: Delhi.

Swaraj is my birthright, and I shall have it!
—Tilak.
Nautanki is my birthright, and I shall have it!
—Kejriwal.

What happens if Delhi Police comes under Kejriwal and he holds dharna for something else?
Will he order Delhi Police to join dharna instead of safeguarding city?

Both the CIA and INC love creating monsters which eventually attack them in the end.
Pakistan will eventually take on America and AAP will eventually cannibalise Congress vote base.

Everyone will get their 15 minutes of fame.
—Andy Warhol.
We will get our 15 minutes of fame each and every day.
—Arvind Kejriwal.

Comedy Nights With Kapil.
Comedy Days With Kejriwal.

Like NaMo and RaGa, they should start calling Arvind Kejriwal…
ArKe.
Since he’s the opposite of what he promised, he should be called AnrKe.

AAP is the only establishment that is anti-establishment.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The AAP dharna drama…

Kejriwal claim: Main Delhi Police ki chutti karoonga.
Reality: Maine Delhi policeman ki chutti okay kar di.

When AAP shuts shop as a political party, it can re-register itself as a drama company or agitation event management company or TV PR or…

Kal peon Kejriwal sahab ke liye chai thandi laayega to woh dharna pe jaayenge.
Saawdhaan!

Evolution of Kejriwal…
2011: August Kranti to send corrupt to jail.
2014: January Dharna to save vigilante minister who broke rules.

Congratulations New Delhi!
You are now in proud possession of a Chief Moral Vigilante who will police you 24X&7!

Khoda pahaad (Delhi Police should come under our control), nikli chuhiya (a couple of cops to go on leave).

Overheard…
A: This Delhi Police is totally out of control, does what it wants, it’s almost like anarchy!
B: What’s the solution?
A: Why, hand it over to that anarchist Kejriwal!

Section 144 according to AAP…
Not less than 144 people should assemble in one single place of protest.

Modi: Main Rajdharma karoonga.
Pappu: Main Raj…duhh???… karoonga.
Kejriwal: Main Rajdharna karoonga.

If Kejriwal becomes PM, he will hold a dharna in front of Rashtrapati Bhawan every day and hence rid the nation of all evils.

2011…
Kejriwal: Chargesheeted MPs/MLAs are a disgrace for India!
2014…
CM & MLA Kejriwal chargesheeted.
First beat them in polls, then join them in crime!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The full form of Arvind Kejriwal…

Anarchy
Rebellion
Vigilantism
IdiotBox
Naxalism
Dharnas
KarlMarxism
Emergency
Jailbharo
Revolution
Idiocy
Wannabes
Agitations
Lawless

This AAP AAP is rapidly deteriorating into a Tu Tu Main Main

Superfast progress…
1885: Congress formed.
1947: Calls to disband Congress.
2013: AAP formed.
2014: Calls to disband AAP.

What they said…
Kejriwal will overtake NaMo.
What happened…
Kejritards have overtaken Namotards.

History has seen Blackshirts and Brownshirts.
Now we should start calling AAP vigilantes as Whitecaps.

AAP Governance 1-2-3…
1. Ensure safety of Indian women by molesting Ugandan women.
2. Protest Delhi Police when they get it right for a change.
3. Protest law and order situation in Delhi by breaking law and order.

It just hit the ceiling in New Delhi…
Congress + AAP = (C)ong(R)essA(AP).

Now showing in New Delhi…
(Governance se) Bhaag AAP Bhaag!

Then…
Jitni shaurat kisiko 20 maheene main nahin mili, inko 20 ghante main mili.
Now…
Jitna bad press kisiko 20 maheene main nahin mila, inko 20 din main mila.
#AAP

Evolution:
First…
AAP–>Aam Aadmi Party.
Then…
Khaas Aadmi Party–>KHAP.
Finally for its supporters…
Khaas Logon ka Political Dal.

What’s the difference between Gandhi Topis and Aam Aadmi Topis?
Pahale waale pahante hain, doosre waale pahanaate hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru