India sinking…

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The UPA should be renamed Gravity.
It pulls everything down.

Father of the Nation = Narasimha Rao.
Godmother of the Nation = She Who Must Not Be Named.

Facebook to India: I’m also in the 100 Crore People Club
Ranbir to Khans: I’m also in the Rs 100 Crore Club.
$ to £: I’ll also be in Rs 100 Club soon!

Sitting in an auto looking at the rigged meter going up like crazy reminds you of the rate of Rupee, Petrol, Onion prices etc going up crazily too.

When Rupee touches 100 versus Dollar, we can switch to Cents.
Then it’ll be 1 Cent = 1 Rupee.
Oh wait, already roughly…
1 Penny = 1 Rupee.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

State of the nation in numbers…

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Q: What’s common to Manmohan Singh and onions?
A: Both are 80. Both make you cry!

By a quirk of fate, India, Sonia and Rupee are all 66.

All Indian PMs have been older than India.
(They were born before Independence)
Modi could break this record.
P.S. Pappu is just older than Bangladesh.

Modi, 62.
Sonia, 66.
India, 66.
Rupee, 66.
Petrol, 76.
Onion, 80.
MMS, 80.
LKA, 85.
Sirf Pappu jawan hai!

True story.
Write a status message about the value of the Rupee (versus the dollar).
By the time you post it, the Rupee’s gone up again!

Rupee trolling and trailing Petrol saying…
Akele akele kahaan jaa rahe ho,
Hame saath le lo jahaan jaa rahe ho…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indian economy gaya tel lene…

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India is in a State of Poverty and I don’t Mind: Pappu.

Experts have finally found the root cause of the current economic crisis.
It’s been traced to 22 May, 2004.
(Irrelevant fact: Manmohan Singh took oath of office on 22 May, 2004)

Chidu’s 10-point plan to revive economy: 1. Fiscal deficit. 2. Forex. 3. PSU banks. 4. Exports. 5. Manufacturing. 6. CAD. 7. CCI. 8. Capex. 9. Monsoon benefits. 10. Impasses.
Citizen’s 1-point plan to UPA to revive economy: 1. Quit.

Indian Rupee sat on a wall,
Indian Rupee had a great fall.
All the queen’s chamchas and all the PM’s men
Couldn’t put Indian Rupee together again.

Said…
Terrorists had come for a chota mota blast.
Vadra is a chota mota farmer.
It’s a chota mota scam.
Unsaid…
Manmohan is a chota mota economist.

Expert: The Indian economy is a Tiger!
Citizen: Save the Tiger!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Government end of days musings…

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All Congressmen and beat reporters have a Sonia App on their mobile.
The moment she’s Unhappy, the Status flashes on their screen.

What if in 2014?
The light at the end of the tunnel is actually the headlights of the oncoming Third Front Train.

The Congress general elections trilogy…
1977: Doom 1.
1989: Doom 2.
2014: Doom 3.

Filmi Singh is King released in 2008.
No sequel.
Political Singh is King released in 2009.
No sequel.

Dynasty…
CongRace1: Nehru.
CongRace2: Indira.
CongRace3: Rajiv.
Sonia…
UPA1.
UPA2.
UPA3 ke baad kuch bhi nahin bachega.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Food Security Bill musings…

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Last night my mother came from AIIMS and hugged me and cried and said: Food Bill is poison!

#FSB.
Financial Suicide Bill.
For Sonia’s Benefit.
Food Scam Bud.
Fultu Sop Bill.
(20)Fourteen Securing Bill.
Fatal Sensex Bear.

Teach a man to fish and lose votes forever.
Feed a man fish every day and get voted in every election.
+ NREGA
= Sone pe Suhaaga.
#FSB

Bhookh sabko lagti hai,
gala sabka sookhta hai,
Food Bill ke aage jeet hai…
#Congress #2014Polls

Ze Food Bill eez vote’s most imporetant!

UPA1: NREGA.
UPA2: FSB.
UPA3: Sell India.
UPA4: Why not? Check voting patterns.

(F)u(S)e for an economic (B)omb.

Freebies fekte chalo,
Doles fekte chalo,
Funde fekte chalo,
Fir governance ko fekte chal bano,
Aakhir main Opposition candidate ko Feku bolo.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Ye tera scam, ye mera scam…

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Please sing to the tune of Ye tera ghar, ye mera ghar from the Bollywood movie Saath Saath…

Ye tera scam, ye mera scam, kisi ko baat-na ho agar,
To pahale aake dede mera share, uska share,
Ye tera scam, ye mera scam, ye scam bahut haseen hai,
Ye scam bahut haseen hai, ye scam bahut haseen hai.

Na CBI ke chhaaon main, na kisi police chowki ke gaaon main,
Na pakadne ke raaste bane hain iske vaaste,
Magar ye scam ajeeb hai, zameen ke kareeb hai,
Ye dollar-Rupee ka scam hamaari hasraton ka scam,
Ye tera scam…

Jo “1 lakh crore” nahin to kya ye rosihni hai hamare chhoti tijori ka,
Saare rishtedaaron ke khwaab khil gaye to fikr kya bahaar ki,
Hamaare ghar na aayegi kabhi khushi imaandaari ki,
Hamaari raahaton ka scam, hamaari chaahaton ka scam,
Ye tera scam…

Yahan mahak bewafaaon ki, bhrashtachaar ka rang hai,
Ye scam tumhara khwaab hai, ye scam meri ummang hai,
Na aarzoo pe qaid hai, na hausle pe jung hai,
Hamaare hauslon ka scam, hamaari himmaton ka scam,
Ye tera scam…

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

(Original song: Ye tera ghar, ye mera ghar.
Film: Saath Saath.
Year: 1982)