Kejriwal-AAP-dharna musings…

A tale of three anarchists…
Laloo: Bihar.
Akhilesh: UP.
Kejriwal: Delhi.

Swaraj is my birthright, and I shall have it!
—Tilak.
Nautanki is my birthright, and I shall have it!
—Kejriwal.

What happens if Delhi Police comes under Kejriwal and he holds dharna for something else?
Will he order Delhi Police to join dharna instead of safeguarding city?

Both the CIA and INC love creating monsters which eventually attack them in the end.
Pakistan will eventually take on America and AAP will eventually cannibalise Congress vote base.

Everyone will get their 15 minutes of fame.
—Andy Warhol.
We will get our 15 minutes of fame each and every day.
—Arvind Kejriwal.

Comedy Nights With Kapil.
Comedy Days With Kejriwal.

Like NaMo and RaGa, they should start calling Arvind Kejriwal…
ArKe.
Since he’s the opposite of what he promised, he should be called AnrKe.

AAP is the only establishment that is anti-establishment.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The AAP dharna drama…

Kejriwal claim: Main Delhi Police ki chutti karoonga.
Reality: Maine Delhi policeman ki chutti okay kar di.

When AAP shuts shop as a political party, it can re-register itself as a drama company or agitation event management company or TV PR or…

Kal peon Kejriwal sahab ke liye chai thandi laayega to woh dharna pe jaayenge.
Saawdhaan!

Evolution of Kejriwal…
2011: August Kranti to send corrupt to jail.
2014: January Dharna to save vigilante minister who broke rules.

Congratulations New Delhi!
You are now in proud possession of a Chief Moral Vigilante who will police you 24X&7!

Khoda pahaad (Delhi Police should come under our control), nikli chuhiya (a couple of cops to go on leave).

Overheard…
A: This Delhi Police is totally out of control, does what it wants, it’s almost like anarchy!
B: What’s the solution?
A: Why, hand it over to that anarchist Kejriwal!

Section 144 according to AAP…
Not less than 144 people should assemble in one single place of protest.

Modi: Main Rajdharma karoonga.
Pappu: Main Raj…duhh???… karoonga.
Kejriwal: Main Rajdharna karoonga.

If Kejriwal becomes PM, he will hold a dharna in front of Rashtrapati Bhawan every day and hence rid the nation of all evils.

2011…
Kejriwal: Chargesheeted MPs/MLAs are a disgrace for India!
2014…
CM & MLA Kejriwal chargesheeted.
First beat them in polls, then join them in crime!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more NaMo musings…

The media turns everyone into such a Hero that they eventually become a Villain.
#Pappu #Nitish #Kejriwal
The advantage with Modi is that they turned him into such a Villain from Day 1 that he eventually became a Hero for many.

NaMo’s Mission2014 diary…
Nitish self-destructed. <Check>
Advani self-destructed. <Check>
Pappu self-destructed. <Check>
–>Kejriwal self-destruct sequence initiated.

Vajpayee: 1980s hardliner, 1990s moderate.
Advani: 1990s hardliner, 2000s moderate.
Modi: 2000s hardliner, 2010s moderate?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The full form of Arvind Kejriwal…

Anarchy
Rebellion
Vigilantism
IdiotBox
Naxalism
Dharnas
KarlMarxism
Emergency
Jailbharo
Revolution
Idiocy
Wannabes
Agitations
Lawless

This AAP AAP is rapidly deteriorating into a Tu Tu Main Main

Superfast progress…
1885: Congress formed.
1947: Calls to disband Congress.
2013: AAP formed.
2014: Calls to disband AAP.

What they said…
Kejriwal will overtake NaMo.
What happened…
Kejritards have overtaken Namotards.

History has seen Blackshirts and Brownshirts.
Now we should start calling AAP vigilantes as Whitecaps.

AAP Governance 1-2-3…
1. Ensure safety of Indian women by molesting Ugandan women.
2. Protest Delhi Police when they get it right for a change.
3. Protest law and order situation in Delhi by breaking law and order.

It just hit the ceiling in New Delhi…
Congress + AAP = (C)ong(R)essA(AP).

Now showing in New Delhi…
(Governance se) Bhaag AAP Bhaag!

Then…
Jitni shaurat kisiko 20 maheene main nahin mili, inko 20 ghante main mili.
Now…
Jitna bad press kisiko 20 maheene main nahin mila, inko 20 din main mila.
#AAP

Evolution:
First…
AAP–>Aam Aadmi Party.
Then…
Khaas Aadmi Party–>KHAP.
Finally for its supporters…
Khaas Logon ka Political Dal.

What’s the difference between Gandhi Topis and Aam Aadmi Topis?
Pahale waale pahante hain, doosre waale pahanaate hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

AAP musings…

AAP = All-ideologies All-isms Potpourri.

The AAP National Policy is like a Free and Open Source Software which Arvind Kejriwal himself won’t be able to control and which will change month to month.

Aam Aadmi Party’s media coverage…
Aam ke aam guthliyon ke daam!

My hugging Kejriwal has resulted in Zero Loss of votes for my party: Sibal.
Same here: Kejriwal.
How?
Because…
Vote for AAP = Vote for Congress.

Anna Hazare: Lokpal!
Arvind Kejriwal: Jokepal!
#SomnathBharti
Kejriwal: Our internal Lokpal has found him not guilty.
(Ah! You mean internal Jokepal?)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congressi dynasty musings…

The Infinity Loop of Inaction…
Pappu: I am ready to do what the Congress wants.
Congress: We are ready to do what Pappu wants.

The symbol of Indian politics should be Two Hands.
One Hand holding the Hammer and Sickle.
The other Hand holding the Broom.

The diminishing Pappu…
2010: Likely successor to Manmohan.
2012: Likely challenger to Modi.
2014: Likely lost it to even Kejriwal.

The dynasty (Sonia) wrecked UPA2.
Solution: Get more dynasty (Pappu).
Failed again.
Next solution: Get even more dynasty (Priyanka).

The Congress is toying with the idea of making the wife of a humble farmer with a simpleton brother their PM candidate.
#PriyankaVadra

Priyanka would be the worst PM ever.
The only choice we’ve known that she’s made is marrying Robert Vadra.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru