World Cup final musings…

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They want to kick out the Associates to have a competitive World Cup.
The only way the World Cup can be made competitive if you kick out Australia.

Even if Winnie the Pooh led the Australians, they’d win the World Cup.

Thank you Ranatunga and Dhoni!
Otherwise Australia would have won 6 straight World Cups from 1996-2015.

Thank God that Australia has never won the T20 World Cup otherwise world cricket would have gone into total boredom for all non-Australians.

Australia, New Zealand and India all lost just one match in the World Cup.
One is the champion, one a runner up and one a semi-finalist.

Progress of New Zealand…
1975-2007—Choked in all knockout matches.
2011—Choked in the semi-final.
2015—Choked in the final.

Let’s face it—The Aussies are hands on favourites to win the ODI World Cups of 2019 and 2023.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More AAP destruction musings…

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First time Kejriwal quit in 49 days.
This time everyone else will quit in 49 days.

Information + Entertainment = Infotainment.
AAP + Nautanki = AAPotanki.

Media equality…
Modi gave “good governance” in Gujarat.
Media focused on everything else.
Kejri gave “zero governance” in Delhi.
Media focused on everything else.

One media owner to another…
Hamne Kejri ko 2013 main banaya aur invest kiya aur ab tak ROI aa raha hain!

Kaun kambakht kehta hai ki Hitler mar gaya!
Aam Aadmi Ram Prasad Sharma on the latest Golmaal.

Sholay—Loha loha ko kaat-ta hai.
AAP ka Sholay—Sting sting ko kaat-ta hai.
Nautanki nautanki ko kaat-ta hai.
Leader leader ko kaat-ta hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When ODI World Cup history repeated itself…

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In his first ODI World Cup as captain, Kapil Dev prevented Clive Lloyd from getting his third title in 1983. He failed in his title defence when India couldn’t chase in the semis and in the final Australia beat England which has never won an ODI World Cup till date. In between India also won the mini World Cup.

In his first ODI World Cup as captain, MS Dhoni prevented Ricky Ponting from getting his third title in 2011. He failed in his title defence when India couldn’t chase in the semis and in the final Australia beat New Zealand which has never won an ODI World Cup till date. In between India also won the mini World Cup.

© Sunil Rajguru

When AAP decided to press the self-destruct button…

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Kejri…
2013—Bharashtachar ko jala kar raakh kar doonga.
2014—Modi ko jala kar raakh kar doonga.
2015—YoYa aur PrBh ko jala kar raakh kar doonga.
2016—Delhi ko jala kar raakh kar doonga.

In defence of Kejriwal, if I had to listen to Yogendra Yadav’s sanctimonious moral lectures day in and day out then even I’d lose my bearings.

I’m from IIN—Kejri.
I’m from IIN—YoYa.
I’m from IIN—PrBh.
I’m from IIN—Ashu.
Voter—Sasura ye IIN kya hai?
A—Indian Institute of Nautanki!

Next AAP cabinet expansion to include…
Sting Minister.
Dissent Minister
Spin Minister.
Nautanki Minister.
Dharna Minister.
TV Studio Minister.

Altaf Raja is back.
He should do a song on AAP…
Tum to thehre nautanki,
(voter ka) saath kya nibhaoge!

Smart. Absolutely nobody is asking about free WiFi, power and water reforms along with concrete anti-corruption drives.

AAP Mental Wrestling Federation Undisputed Champion…
Round 1: Kejri beats Anna.
Round 2: Kejri beats Shazia-Binny-etc.
Round 3: Kejri beats Bedi.
Round 4: Kejri versus YoYa+PrBh.

The stages of struggle…
1. Mujhe chahiye Swaraj (from corruption).
2. Mujhe chahiye Swaraj (from Congress).
3. Mujhe chahiye Swaraj (from Modi).
4. Mujhe chahiye Swaraj (from Kejriwal).

AAP gave a bad manifesto: Got 28 seats.
AAP gave bad governance: Got 67 seats.
After this nonsense they’ll probably get 71/70 seats next time.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How a simple Divide and Rule will sort out AAP’s problems…

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AAP has 67 MLAs in the Delhi Assembly…

Give 36 MLAs to Kejriwal so he can call it the Arvind Aadmi Party which it actually is and continue being Chief Minister and enjoy his perks.

Give 20 MLAs to Yogendra Yadav so he can form the Yogendra Aadmi Party (YAP) and become Leader of the Opposition and yap all day in the Assembly and in front of TV cameras.

Give the Bhushans 11 MLAs so they can form the Bhushan Aadmi Party (BAP) so bap-beta can retain relevance.

Give the upcoming 3 Rajya seats to the other dissenters and tell all the AAP volunteers to go home. There’s a limit to how long you can fool so many people.

© Sunil Rajguru

India World Cup musings…

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ODI World Cup.
T20 World Cup.
Champions Trophy.
Asia Cup.
Test No. 1 Ranking.
ODI No. 1 Ranking.
T20 No. 1 Ranking.
So much won from 2007-13.
‪#‎ThanksTeamIndia‬

Olympic hockey golds (1948, 52, 56, 64, 80).
Hockey World Cup (1975).
Cricket World Cups (1983, 2007, 2011).
All won only when Congress was in power.

During leagues Dhoni wanted to take LED stumps but wasn’t allowed.
Organizers said they would allow if he won semi-final.
Hopefully in another tournament then!

Now we need a Section 66A in Indo-Australia matches to prevent sledging from going totally out of control.
‪#‎IndVsAus‬ ‪#‎CWC15‬

India has many Ishant-Rohit-Jadeja jokes.
South Africa has many chokes.
‪#‎NZVsSA‬ ‪#‎CWC15‬

If you are on deputation for 6 months abroad you become an NRI.
The Indian cricket team is currently in its 5th month in Australia.
‪#‎IndVsAus‬ ‪#‎CWC15‬

Before…
Half the Indian cricket team is from Mumbai.
Then…
Half the team is from Karnataka.
Now…
Half the team is from Chennai Super Kings.

© Sunil Rajguru