In terms of brand value—Bofors.

In terms of amount involved—Coalgate.

In terms of Prime Minister’s direct involvement—Coalgate.

In terms of cover-up and deaths—Vyapam.

Biggest hype-up—#LalitGate.

In sports—2G.

Biggest directly involving media—Radiagate.

Biggest convicted scamster loved by media—Laloo.

First big scam immediately after independence—Disappearance of money/treasure of the Indian National Army.

Number of major scams yet to be unearthed—Thousands.

Number of scamsters roaming free—Millions.

Number of Indians who must have eaten scam money directly or indirectly—Crores.

Media’s ScamGuard Shield provided to—Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty.

© Sunil Rajguru

In 2029, Pappu would be Prime Minister, Vadra would get his VVIP status back, Salman Khan would get Bharat Ratna for humanitarian services, Virat Kohli would have broken all of Sachin’s ODI records, T10 Premier League would be the top cricketing tournament of the world, Test cricket would be dead, Dhoom 8 would have been be released featuring Abhishek Bachchan and Uday Chopra with white hair and create the Rs 10,000 crore club, Lalit Modi would be trying to topple UPA3, RAW would be on the verge of capturing Dawood, Pakistan would cease to exist, UN would have passed the 1000th resolution condemning Israel, Sunny Deol would get the Dadasaheb Phalke Award, India would still fail to qualify for the FIFA World Cup, India would still be debating whether to host the Olympics and what to do with Air India…

© Sunil Rajguru

Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty kisne shuru kee, Nehru ko singlehandedly gaddi pe baitha ke?
Mahatma Gandhi.

Unofficial corporate sponsorship (GD Birla) sabse pahale kisne lee?
Mahatma Gandhi.

Netaji ko party se kisne bhagaya?
Mahatma Gandhi.

Independence par cow slaughter ban kisne promise kiya?
Mahatma Gandhi.

Gujarat prohibition kiske naam pe hua?
Mahatma Gandhi.

Ambedkar ke saath sabse jyaada kaun lada?
Mahatma Gandhi.

“Dear Friend” Hitler letter kaun likha?
Mahatma Gandhi.

Congress ko Independence ke baad bandh karo kaun bola?
Mahatma Gandhi.

“Earthquake deaths = God’s punishment for sinners” kaun bola?
Mahatma Gandhi.

© Sunil Rajguru

Modi: Development. Internet. Bank accounts. Foreign policy. #MakeInIndia. #SelfieWithDaughter…
Analysis: Fascist dictator!

Media: Caste distribution of votes. Minority votebank analysis. Ignore attacks against Hindus. Abuse Hinduism. Avoid all dynasty misdeeds.
Analysis: Liberal neutral seculars!

His political opponents, who indulge in corruption, nepotism, caste politics and throw development in the dustbin…
Analysis: Must be backed at any cost to stop Modi in his tracks!

© Sunil Rajguru

The First Dictator: Mahatma Gandhi.
Dictator II: Jawaharlal Nehru.
Dictator III: Indira Gandhi.
Dictator IV: Sanjay Gandhi.
Dictator V: Rajiv Gandhi.
Dictator VI: Sonia Gandhi.

The First Democrat: Lal Bahadur Shastri.
Democrat II: PV Narasimha Rao.
Democrat III: AB Vajpayee.

Time pass on the PM’s chair…
The First: Morarji Desai.
II: Charan Singh.
III: VP Singh.
IV: Chandrashekhar.
V: HD Deve Gowda.
VI: IK Gujral
VII: Manmohan Singh.

© Sunil Rajguru

Indian Media—Ek baar maine commitment dee to main khud ki bhi nahin sunta!
(P.S.—Maine Congress ko 1947 main hi commitment dee thee!)

Sonia declared Emergency for the Congress party in 1998 and the mainstream media in 2004.
It is yet to be lifted though.

Most over-rated scam of all time: ‪#‎LalitGate‬.
Most under-rated scam of all time: ‪#‎Vyapam‬.
Both happening simultaneously.
Coverage: #LalitGate 99.99%. #Vyapam 0.001%.

Lalit Modi can start a ‪#‎SelfieWithLalit‬ trend and then proceed to post pictures of thousands of politicians, celebrities and journalists straight away.
The media would still carry photoshopped pix of BJP leaders.

Worst spokespersons…
1. UPA2.
2. NDA2.
3. NDA1.
4. UPA1.
Best spokespersons…
For Congress: Always MSM.
For BJP: SM till 2014.

Sameer Jain destroyed Indian newspapers.
Prannoy Roy destroyed Indian news TV.
Now they’re desperately trying to destroy the Internet.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru