BJP: Kya bhaav hai?
Shiv Sena: 151.
BJP: Thoda kam nahin ho sakta kya?
Sena: 151.
BJP: 130 consider karoge kya?
Sena: 151.
BJP: 140 nahin chalega kya?
Sena: 151.
BJP: Arre bhai, 140 ko chala lo!
Sena: 151.
BJP: 145?
Sena: 151.
BJP: Ek kaam kar lo, hum aapko saare 288 seats hi de dete hai!
© Sunil Rajguru
For 25 years: Happily married!
Some time back: Working on our relationship.
After that: It’s complicated.
Now: We haven’t the foggiest idea what our relationship status is!
Congress-NCP: We’ll have what they’re having.
MNS: Now in the relationship (or marriage) market.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Maharashtra politics…
2006: Pramod Mahajan, RIP.
2012: Vilasrao Deshmukh, RIP.
2012: Balasaheb Thackeray, RIP.
2014: Gopinath Munde, RIP.
2014: BJP-Sena alliance, RIP.
2014: Congress-NCP alliance, RIP.
February 14: Valentine’s Day.
September 25: Breakup Day.
When the news channels didn’t know whether they were breaking or not…
The BJP-Shiv Sena alliance is like Schrodinger’s Cat because it is simultaneously alive and dead.
Breaking News for 10 days…
BJP-Shiv Sena/NCP-Congress on the verge of breaking/breakthrough.
(Means we haven’t the foggiest idea but we will say we were right no matter what happens in the end)
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
You may…
…support the scams of One Leader.
But not the schemes of all other leaders.
You may…
…lick the boots of One Leader.
But not tolerate a help tying the bootlaces of any other leader.
You may…
…respect the privacy of One Leader.
But give bad publicity to every other leader over minor private things.
You may…
…tolerate the dictatorship of One Leader.
But call minor democratic deviations of any other leader a dictatorship.
You may…
…celebrate if One Leader decides to do remote control.
But thrash any other leader who even seeks to guide his or her juniors.
You may…
…look the other way when One Leader leaves the country surreptitiously for the umpteenth time.
But pounce on any other leader when he or she steps out of her home.
You may…
…accept the education and experience shortcomings of One Leader and her right to rule the country.
But pounce on any other 12th pass leader who even heads a department.
You may…
Ignore the major scams of one party president.
But go after every allegation of another party president.
You may…
…be petrified of One Leader.
But attack every other leader 24X7.
All leaders are equal.
But One Leader is more equal than others.
© Sunil Rajguru
A DD news anchor read XI Jinping as 11 (Eleven) Jinping.
A Chinese anchor should take revenge and read MODI as 1000-0-500-1.
Under Modi paradoxically both Indo-China co-operation and rivalry will increase.
Analysis in advance…
BJP wins: (It was) Communal Polarization.
BJP loses: Communal Polarization (didn’t work).
#Bypolls
Strange…
BJP hires partisan BJP leaders for Governors.
–>Hmm, OK.
BJP hires neutral former Chief Justice for post.
–>All hell breaks loose.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Films of…
Pappu: The Man Who Would be Prime Minister.
Sonia: The Last Queen of Scamland.
Manmohan: On Her Majesty’s (Not So) Secret Service.
Report: Rs 51 lakh spent for maintenance at Sonia’s house.
Question: Has India spent Rs 51 lakh crore for maintenance of the Dynasty so far?
Like Mr India, Sonia Gandhi is a superhero called Mrs India.
She becomes totally invisible when media discusses scams, policy debacles and UPA2 disasters.
Manmohan: I was not in charge.
+ Sonia: I wasn’t the PM.
= Nobody was responsible for the UPA2 debacle.
Congress to all its detractors…
Kyun (Vinod) Rai ka parvat bana rahe ho?
#ScamsterMMS #UPA2 #Coalgate #2G #NotJustAnAccountant
These versions by Sunil Rajguru